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I'm gonna remember all the things my "friends" and "family" have done to hurt me
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<blockquote data-quote="GuideMe" data-source="post: 642446" data-attributes="member: 18233"><p>Pasajes, I'm fine ,lol. But thanks for your concern.</p><p></p><p>. My only plan is to do them what they have done to me, which is turn away and abandon them (and maybe give them a piece of my mind a bit before I do turn away) like they have done to me if they should ever need me. Of course, I think they need to feel the same pain as I have from that abandonment so they can finally be humbled and do it no longer and also, that would give me the justice (the justice that I talked about in my earlier comments) that I need. I definitely will not help them or open my arms to them as I have so many times before, that is fore certain. I think if I did help them or welcomed them back in my life, I would interfere with God...nature....with their own spiritual and human growth. Just like difficult child's, you can not enable people that have hurt you before. They take advantage and after they get what they get, they leave just as quickly as they came. No more. I admit, my wording in my first post was pretty strong, I was pretty angry. Forgive me if I upset anyone. I was just venting. I should have been more clear that all I meant was, I forgive too easily and I use to feel really guilty for even thinking I would turn my back on my former friends or family members in need. I use to wrestle with this all the time.There was that part of me that said "F--them, I will never be there for them. I don't want nothing to do with them ever again" but I fought it because I felt extremely guilty for thinking that even though they did what they did to me.Back then, and through out most of my life, I said I would forgive them and be there for them whenever they need me because in the end, Jesus wants me to be a good person and not be like them. However, I feel differently now. I feel it is completely fine with God that if they should ever need me or want me back in their lives, that it's OK for me to say no. I need to say no. And sometimes, I have to really drill that into my head because I am such a good person and forgive way too easily. Sometimes I have to let my anger sweep me and use strong words and beliefs to counter act the big part of me that wants to be a big walking doormat and a pee pee & poo poo pad. Maybe it was not as hard for you all as it was for me to stand up for yourselves and not be poo poo pad as I was, but it was extremely hard for me. I allowed myself to be a doormat , abused, bullied by everyone....for a very long time. So even with the most seemingly minor thing, such as being able to walk away and not help someone who has hurt me, I have to be very strong in order to do that. I have to be very strict with myself because as I said, I tend to forget and forgive VERY easily in the moment. That is why I pray to God he strikes me with a well memory, I pray to God to let the memories, memories that torment me from all the pain others have inflicted on me, flood back into me at the exact time that someone comes to me so I can be strong enough to say NO, NO, NO. My painful memories are very tricky. They are around most of the time when I don't need it and when I do need to remember them they quickly disappear. I want and pray for the opposite to happen, so this way I can be strong when I need to be.</p><p></p><p>Now, that will be my last time explaining it.</p><p></p><p>Oh and MWM I do not question the message or the sender. Not one bit. </p><p></p><p>By the way Pasajes, this is completely off topic, I asked you a question several times before in your other posts, but you never answered? I thought you were ignoring me lol. But now that I know you are not, when is your son getting out? You never answered.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GuideMe, post: 642446, member: 18233"] Pasajes, I'm fine ,lol. But thanks for your concern. . My only plan is to do them what they have done to me, which is turn away and abandon them (and maybe give them a piece of my mind a bit before I do turn away) like they have done to me if they should ever need me. Of course, I think they need to feel the same pain as I have from that abandonment so they can finally be humbled and do it no longer and also, that would give me the justice (the justice that I talked about in my earlier comments) that I need. I definitely will not help them or open my arms to them as I have so many times before, that is fore certain. I think if I did help them or welcomed them back in my life, I would interfere with God...nature....with their own spiritual and human growth. Just like difficult child's, you can not enable people that have hurt you before. They take advantage and after they get what they get, they leave just as quickly as they came. No more. I admit, my wording in my first post was pretty strong, I was pretty angry. Forgive me if I upset anyone. I was just venting. I should have been more clear that all I meant was, I forgive too easily and I use to feel really guilty for even thinking I would turn my back on my former friends or family members in need. I use to wrestle with this all the time.There was that part of me that said "F--them, I will never be there for them. I don't want nothing to do with them ever again" but I fought it because I felt extremely guilty for thinking that even though they did what they did to me.Back then, and through out most of my life, I said I would forgive them and be there for them whenever they need me because in the end, Jesus wants me to be a good person and not be like them. However, I feel differently now. I feel it is completely fine with God that if they should ever need me or want me back in their lives, that it's OK for me to say no. I need to say no. And sometimes, I have to really drill that into my head because I am such a good person and forgive way too easily. Sometimes I have to let my anger sweep me and use strong words and beliefs to counter act the big part of me that wants to be a big walking doormat and a pee pee & poo poo pad. Maybe it was not as hard for you all as it was for me to stand up for yourselves and not be poo poo pad as I was, but it was extremely hard for me. I allowed myself to be a doormat , abused, bullied by everyone....for a very long time. So even with the most seemingly minor thing, such as being able to walk away and not help someone who has hurt me, I have to be very strong in order to do that. I have to be very strict with myself because as I said, I tend to forget and forgive VERY easily in the moment. That is why I pray to God he strikes me with a well memory, I pray to God to let the memories, memories that torment me from all the pain others have inflicted on me, flood back into me at the exact time that someone comes to me so I can be strong enough to say NO, NO, NO. My painful memories are very tricky. They are around most of the time when I don't need it and when I do need to remember them they quickly disappear. I want and pray for the opposite to happen, so this way I can be strong when I need to be. Now, that will be my last time explaining it. Oh and MWM I do not question the message or the sender. Not one bit. By the way Pasajes, this is completely off topic, I asked you a question several times before in your other posts, but you never answered? I thought you were ignoring me lol. But now that I know you are not, when is your son getting out? You never answered. [/QUOTE]
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I'm gonna remember all the things my "friends" and "family" have done to hurt me
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