I'm in a funk...."almost" overwhelmed, it seems

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Mar 9, 2007.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    If my responses seem short or terse or downright stupid lately :redface: I'm operating on one last nerve and hoping that
    nobody steps on it! :crazy2:

    Truthfully there is not one area that is going smoothly or allowing for laughter or relaxation. Business is slow. In fact
    lots of people are really being impacted by the economy around here. difficult child is doing OK but signed up to give a speech :highvoltage: and I am trying to get him prepped for Monday. Yesterday he came down
    with a cold so you can imagine what last nights rehersals were like. easy child/difficult child has let his A slip to a C and he is apprehensive
    about any effort to kick it up a notch. I am frayed when it comes to walking the line between addictions and brain damage...
    it is a vague confused line. Dear husband has been kicked in the teeth (figuratively not literally) by a hotshot young man in his
    mid forties who has overtly used his high profile community position to steal DHs organizations fundraiser. There's no way
    I could explain the details of that drama. Bottom line is that
    my husband is 74, has been honored in recent years for community service achievements and the Presidency of two groups AND is not
    a "fighter" by nature. He is honest to a fault and abhors adults
    who are not so. Now...he has been misrepresented in the local newspaper which shows him in an inaccurate and negative light.

    I can't change the economy. I can't give difficult child's speech. I sure
    as H can't take back the brain injury for easy child/difficult child nor can I make
    his choices for him. I want husband to fight fire with fire BUT I am
    having to sit back and watch him silently suffer as I can not
    do anything else.

    I planned to get away for a long weekend to save my sanity. husband
    made reservations for a seminar out of town and then afterwards
    said "I think I need to have a change so if it's ok with you, I
    will be gone for XX days."

    Maybe this lengthly whine will make me feel better. Truthfully, I never realized that there were so many "unsolvable" problems
    in this world. DDD
     
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I'm sorry your feeling so down. I wish there was something I could do or say to cheer you up. So husband got to get out of town for awhile, you should plan it for the next weekend. Sounds like you definatley need it. Probably not something you can do together because it would leave the darlings home alone, YIKES!!!! so I'm sure that isn't an option.

    Perhaps a movie with a friend, and a few nips tucked away in your purse would do the trick!! Have you seen wildhogs??? It is the funniest movie I have ever seen in my life and I definatley recommend it to anyone feeling down. My girlfriend and I saw it twice, yes twice, last weekend and both times we laughed so hard we were crying from the second it started until the second it ended. Actually we laughed for days afterwards, never mind when it ended.
     
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I know what you mean 3D. There have been no real calamitites. difficult child has not done anything "too" bad. But...I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is going to happen---and I don't like these feelings. I'm in a depression, I guess. It seems as soon as I think that we are all on a level field, someone does something to upset the cart----and I'm tired of having to put out the fires of other people.
     
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    the more you tell me about your newspaper, the angrier I get. it sounds like a bad news gossip sheet. ugh!
    I thought you had been rather quiet lately, DDD.

    so, the things you list are all things out of your control. what can you do about them?
    pray about them. let others find their own paths, nurture yourself. that is about it. you are used to digging in and finding answers, you are intelligent and want things to work out best for all concerned.

    nothing wrong with that. I find I am less depressed when I stop trying to put my hopes in things I cannot control anyway!
    a small story for you:

    God gives a man a small child's wagon with three stones in it, not too big. he asks the man if he can pull the wagon up the mountain and leave the stones on the other side.

    the man sees that the wagon is not too big and the stones are not big either. so he says yes to God.

    on the way, the man comes across his friend John. John tells the friend that God had given him a small bag of pebbles, and since the man is going over the mountain could he bring the bag with him?? the man says "sure!, you are my friend and I want to help".

    so on the man goes, he comes across his pal Joe, and Joe has a few small stones God has given him to take up the mountain. Joe notices there is room in the wagon for them. the man, being a good man and a stellar friend, agrees to add them to the wagon.

    it is night and he stops in a small village to rest. while there he meets some others with small pebbles, and various stones God has asked them to carry to the other side of the mountain. The man agrees to help all these poor folks and adds them to the wagon.

    the next morning the man reaches half way up the mountain, huffing and puffing. he tugs the wagon, and it hits his heel, he cries out to God that he cannot do this the load is too big and he gives up.

    God comes down and looks in the wagon. He tells the man that he only gave him three stones to carry. he removes the pebbles of John, the small stones of Joe and the other village people's (small pun here...lol) stones.

    God asks the man why he took on other people's burdens. he tells the man that he specifically gave him his own stones and gave the right stones for others to carry. he did not expect the man to carry the other's burdens.

    with the other people's stones out of the wagon, the man was able to easily go on up the mountain.

    so...carry your own weight and let others carry theirs.

    the end of Aesop's fractured fairy tales.
     
  5. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>DDD,you have been a warrior and advocate for a long time. Not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is bound to wear you down. I'm sorry for husband. It's really bad when a good man is misrepresented for someone's gain.
    I don't have much in the way of suggestions but I know that feeling when every way you turn you hit a brick wall. Pretty soon it feels like the bricks are falling on your head and burying you.
    I hope things start to turn around for you. It seems that you have been fighting this battle for a long time DDD. I can understand being tired. </span>
     
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    DDD, I am so sorry you are feeling low. It is so hard to feel overwhelmed and know that things are what the are and little you can do to change it. I think that a break is in order. Maybe when husband gets home take a couple of days for yourself. If that isn't possible just take a day off and do something for yourself.
    In the meantime I'm sending you cyber hugs. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) -RM
     
  7. Merris

    Merris New Member

    I don't blame you for feeling overwhelmed! Alot of not so good things are happening right now. You are an awesome warrior, but you can't fight every battle. (I loved that story Ant's Mom) Take some time for you. Take a nap, read a book, do something that takes your mind off things.

    Hugs to you my friend.

    Merris
     
  8. TYLERFAN

    TYLERFAN New Member

    DDD:

    I'm sorry things are in such turmoil, my friend!
    Sending you prayers for renewed strength and peace.

    Blessings,
    Melissa :angel:
     
  9. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Oh, DDD, so sorry for the funkiness! (((HUGS)))

    Prayers for the boys, and husband & you. As for husband, perhaps a Letter to the Editor?? Could you compose a veiled 'tongue-in-cheek' congratulatory message to the snake who stole husband's thunder?

    I was recently reading thru our local rag, and laughed out loud at a letter written in that way. It went something like, "I'd like to congratulate the District Administrator on her $8K raise. Quite an accomplishment for less than par effort" I don't have it exactly right, but you get the idea? :hypnosis:

    You know the old saying, Time Heals all Wounds....Well, it works inversly, too: Time Wounds all Heels :eek:

    I hope you are soon able to find your laughter again, my friend. We so sorely need it in our lives. Will be thinking of you.

    Peace
     
  10. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    I'm so sorry to hear things have got you down, my friend. As Fran mentioned, you've been fighting this fight for so long, that you're bound to get worn down eventually.

    I agree that you need to take some time away - either by yourself or with husband. One needs to recharge now and then or we're too worn out to deal with things.

    I've been dealing with my difficult child brother this past year, and I'm not living with him, so I can only imagine how it wears you down living with it day in and day out.

    No, there's nothing you can do to change things that are going on with husband, with difficult child or with easy child/difficult child, but you need to make a change for YOU. That means some pampering or time away.

    Sending mega hugs your way, my friend. Wish there was more I could do, but know that I'm thinking of you.

    Hugs,
    Deb
     
  11. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    D3, honestly it's a miracle you are still upright with all of that stress. My offer remains open.

    Big squishy hugs,
    Suz
     
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all the support. Even though I "know" that the past
    forty something years have been rough AND that the past six have
    been more than tough, I still expect that I should handle it all
    more satisfactorily.

    Today easy child/difficult child is 20 years old. It's hard to believe! The first
    13.5 were wonderful. Today difficult child is presenting his speech in the school auditorium for the Rotary competition. (Hmmm...did I tell you all that I have been trying to turn as AS teen into a
    public speaker the past two weeks?? NO, I did NOT push him to
    sign up. He signed up and then expected me to pull the rabbit out of some hat..somewhere. lol) husband is still in a pickle and I
    detached Saturday. I had listened and empathized and tried to
    encourage to action for almost two weeks. Saturday I offered to
    "take the lead" using his parameters for trying to negotiate a
    conflict resolution. He gave it thought and then said he should
    do it.

    So....thanks for being there. I'm trying to think positive thoughts. on the other hand, can you beieve that one of the boys brought another head cold into our household??? Sniff! DDD
     
  13. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, if it's true that misery loves company then I'm right there with you, DDD.

    Seems like something is going wrong in my life every time I turn around.

    Want to run away with me????

    Sending hugs.

    ~Kathy
     
  14. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    :warrior: Thanks for the update, DDD :warrior:

    Kathy, sorry to hear your crumbling, too!

    Would love to have you both come visit in PonyGirl Land, where lately hardly anything goes wrong! :bravo:

    Kathy....how hard is it to get Final Four Tickets??? (NCAA Basketball, that is) If My Badgers make it, sure would be a sweet trip to make with easy child!

    Peace
     
  15. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Well, Happy Birthday to easy child/difficult child. My baby turned 20 at the end of January. We made it through their teen years, DDD !

    As for you, hang in there. Wish things would calm down for you. Meanwhile, know we're here for you, sending many good thoughts your way.

    Hugs,
    Deb
     
  16. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!

    I'm in "ok" mode (for the moment. You see I haven't talked to either difficult child in about 5 days now!) so....I'm fairly strong.

    I've got the row boat going so DDD and Kathy and whoever else needs a ride, just jump on board and we'll see how far we need to go to Pony Land as her area seems to have been and is very quiet :smile:

    I'm guessing husband is going to have to fight through this one. I sure do like a little sarcasm to the local newspaper though. easy child/difficult child is moving along....slowly....but moving and wowser for difficult child! speaking in front of all those people....what a success!

    Here's some {{{sunny hugs}}} and a little sunny dance to at least give you a smile :salute:
     
  17. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    difficult child (16) competed yesterday. He did not win. He said his legs
    were shaking so badly at the podium that it caused his voice to
    shake AND he lost his place and improvised in the wrong way!!!

    BUT, bless his heart, he did it! He is proud that he did it!
    He even said "next year I'll be better".

    husband is "going to the front" armed with facts and figures this afternoon. I'm hoping he has a partial victory.

    easy child/difficult child is inching along but I'm lagging behind. Still not sure what I can reasonably expect but living at home is not an option
    forever!

    Ooops, got a customer. Bye. DDD
     
Loading...