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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633885" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Echo, in my case, a son DID leave me, but it took several years for me to let go of him. Still, now I automatically tell people I have four children (see my signature). There comes a point when an adult child is so gone, even if he's actually there, that he is gone to us. The person we raised is gone. We move on. I think it's normal.</p><p></p><p>Although your son did not technically leave and refuse to contact you, his contact is largely what you can give him or to get him out of trouble, not out of warm mother/son feelings. That, I can imagine, wears thin. It is like close to no relationship at all. Our minds can only take so much, as COM said (her post was excellent).</p><p></p><p>If your son ever straightens out and becomes the person you knew when he was growing up, Echo, you will regenerate your motherly feelings fast. As it is, now he is a stranger.</p><p></p><p>My adopted son Scott has been gone for so many years I sort of hope I never hear from him again too. What are we going to say to oe another? We missed so much. He was so vile to me and his sister and his half-siblings.He does not treat us like family and I can't think of him as my son any longer. A son is somebody who is in your life. Even 36 loves me and, if anything, contacts me TOO much, but he does act like he is a son. And, with the good and the bad, he is the son I always knew. Scott is a different person from the darling little boy I raised from age six to when he left at about thirty.He is a stranger to me now.</p><p></p><p>We are here to listen and to empathize. Most of us understand. We are holding your hand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633885, member: 1550"] Echo, in my case, a son DID leave me, but it took several years for me to let go of him. Still, now I automatically tell people I have four children (see my signature). There comes a point when an adult child is so gone, even if he's actually there, that he is gone to us. The person we raised is gone. We move on. I think it's normal. Although your son did not technically leave and refuse to contact you, his contact is largely what you can give him or to get him out of trouble, not out of warm mother/son feelings. That, I can imagine, wears thin. It is like close to no relationship at all. Our minds can only take so much, as COM said (her post was excellent). If your son ever straightens out and becomes the person you knew when he was growing up, Echo, you will regenerate your motherly feelings fast. As it is, now he is a stranger. My adopted son Scott has been gone for so many years I sort of hope I never hear from him again too. What are we going to say to oe another? We missed so much. He was so vile to me and his sister and his half-siblings.He does not treat us like family and I can't think of him as my son any longer. A son is somebody who is in your life. Even 36 loves me and, if anything, contacts me TOO much, but he does act like he is a son. And, with the good and the bad, he is the son I always knew. Scott is a different person from the darling little boy I raised from age six to when he left at about thirty.He is a stranger to me now. We are here to listen and to empathize. Most of us understand. We are holding your hand. [/QUOTE]
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