F
flutterbee
Guest
Well, I've actually had my vitamin d tested. (I know...brag, brag, brag.) I was deficient and was put on high doses of supplements and now I'm not deficient and have been taken off supplements. I also make sure to get out in the sun every day without sunblock. It's been beautiful the last couple of days here. Not that it's helping my mood any.
difficult child picked up dishes off the floor without asking
, but when she put them in the sink and I reminded her - again - that the dishwasher was dirty, she said, 'Dang it', and walked out of the room. 
I didn't say a word because at that point nothing resembling appropriate conversation for a 13 year old was going to come out of my mouth. Later I asked her to put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher. She doesn't see what the big deal is; she's been keeping her room clean. OMG...does she want a cookie??? It's her room; her responsibility. And *I* don't live in her room. And *I* am not going to go in and pick up in her room like with the dishes. Which are STILL in the sink by the way.
I think my head is going to fall off.
And then she starts with there is nothing to do here, there isn't a park nearby, she's bored and she's being lazy. First of all, I never lived anywhere near a park until I moved back to Ohio when I was pregnant with her. Use your imagination. Second, I told her if she didn't want to be lazy she could *gasp* put her dishes away, help me with the laundry, vacuum. She looked at me like I'd grown another head and reminded me that those are my jobs.
Then she goes on about how she doesn't know anyone here and she can't make any friends and how it's all my fault cause I haven't gotten her a basketball. Fine, I'll get you a basketball.
Then she wants to know what she's going to do with it because there are no parks around here. You know, Wynter, you could go for walks, you could ride your bike, you could play in the long driveway with your basketball, or soccer ball or whatever else. Kids will want to know who you are and will come over to find out. Doesn't matter. She CAN'T talk to people she doesn't know. She doesn't want to go for walks. She's like 10 times more shy than I ever was and I just don't understand. Well, you know, I can help you but I can't do it for you. Nope, she just cannot do it. At all.
We've had this exact conversation a gazillion times. She never wants to have to put forth any effort. She wants me to fix it for her.
Bring up therapy again. She's not going. Her last therapist was mean to her and was talking about stuff that was 'none of her business'. A little background - difficult child's hygiene was atrocious. It was multiple hour battles to get her in the shower, she was unstable and it would be days in between showers and you could tell. Her therapist and I talked about it and she decided she was going to gently let difficult child know that at a certain age it becomes important to start wearing deodorant. She did and difficult child lost it. She lost it again last night just talking about it. This was 45 minutes into she can't do anything, she's just a victim, she's just always going to be miserable and it's all my fault. And I reminded her that her hygiene had been atrocious and that her therapist said something so that the kids at school wouldn't start making fun of her. If looks could kill. Then she tells me how I'm just so mean to her, everyone's mean to her, blah, blah, blah. If I say anything that is not all you're the perfect child, then I'm being mean.
She takes no responsibility for herself. She puts the blame for everything on everyone else. She wants everyone to fix everything without her having to put forth the least little effort. She was getting really nasty with me and I told her I was done talking. Told her when she was ready to put forth some effort, I would help her. Told her that eventually she'll get tired of being so miserable and she'll want to change it. She got mad and stomped away and slammed her door.
And I was wondering why in the hell I didn't get a hotel room.
difficult child picked up dishes off the floor without asking
, but when she put them in the sink and I reminded her - again - that the dishwasher was dirty, she said, 'Dang it', and walked out of the room. I didn't say a word because at that point nothing resembling appropriate conversation for a 13 year old was going to come out of my mouth. Later I asked her to put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher. She doesn't see what the big deal is; she's been keeping her room clean. OMG...does she want a cookie??? It's her room; her responsibility. And *I* don't live in her room. And *I* am not going to go in and pick up in her room like with the dishes. Which are STILL in the sink by the way. I think my head is going to fall off.
And then she starts with there is nothing to do here, there isn't a park nearby, she's bored and she's being lazy. First of all, I never lived anywhere near a park until I moved back to Ohio when I was pregnant with her. Use your imagination. Second, I told her if she didn't want to be lazy she could *gasp* put her dishes away, help me with the laundry, vacuum. She looked at me like I'd grown another head and reminded me that those are my jobs.
Then she goes on about how she doesn't know anyone here and she can't make any friends and how it's all my fault cause I haven't gotten her a basketball. Fine, I'll get you a basketball. Then she wants to know what she's going to do with it because there are no parks around here. You know, Wynter, you could go for walks, you could ride your bike, you could play in the long driveway with your basketball, or soccer ball or whatever else. Kids will want to know who you are and will come over to find out. Doesn't matter. She CAN'T talk to people she doesn't know. She doesn't want to go for walks. She's like 10 times more shy than I ever was and I just don't understand. Well, you know, I can help you but I can't do it for you. Nope, she just cannot do it. At all.
We've had this exact conversation a gazillion times. She never wants to have to put forth any effort. She wants me to fix it for her.
Bring up therapy again. She's not going. Her last therapist was mean to her and was talking about stuff that was 'none of her business'. A little background - difficult child's hygiene was atrocious. It was multiple hour battles to get her in the shower, she was unstable and it would be days in between showers and you could tell. Her therapist and I talked about it and she decided she was going to gently let difficult child know that at a certain age it becomes important to start wearing deodorant. She did and difficult child lost it. She lost it again last night just talking about it. This was 45 minutes into she can't do anything, she's just a victim, she's just always going to be miserable and it's all my fault. And I reminded her that her hygiene had been atrocious and that her therapist said something so that the kids at school wouldn't start making fun of her. If looks could kill. Then she tells me how I'm just so mean to her, everyone's mean to her, blah, blah, blah. If I say anything that is not all you're the perfect child, then I'm being mean.
She takes no responsibility for herself. She puts the blame for everything on everyone else. She wants everyone to fix everything without her having to put forth the least little effort. She was getting really nasty with me and I told her I was done talking. Told her when she was ready to put forth some effort, I would help her. Told her that eventually she'll get tired of being so miserable and she'll want to change it. She got mad and stomped away and slammed her door.
And I was wondering why in the hell I didn't get a hotel room.
He refused to wash b4 going outside to play today because he was "just going to get sweaty anyway."
