i'm kinda done venting

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Jan 15, 2009.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i'm sitting here in tears and had to go somewhere with-it right now to release.

    it's been so hard these past two weeks, i know i love to complain yet it's been so so hard. difficult child had a meltdown last night over something and tried jumping out of my truck we were close to home on the block but still. we are averaging a meltdown a day now.

    she has had school refusal everday for hte past two weeks. i keep pushing she keeps rising. yet now its getting to be too much for her. she's got ela's this week, than a new sitter, me working. it's too much change too quick. i'm going as slow as i can but her therapist even went awol on us isnt' returning calls. so difficult child doesnt' have enough supports in place right now.

    she pushed me this morning trying to get past me to get her finger in pancake mix that i was making after i told her no. i just broke down i'm exhuasted and sick and i feel so bad that she's going thru this due to me.

    than two minutes later it was mommy i love you blah blah blah.

    so i think i need to go on my one appointment today than call the office and say sorry but im done for today. i have to take a mom to go get section 8 so her and child can continue having housing. than meet over her child.

    sorry i'm just tired and done today.
     
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Here's a big hug, Jennifer. And a bunch of tissues.
    I hear you. That is so exhausting.

    Good luck with-the dr appointment. That's nice of you to take your mom in. Does she drive? Will the office be okay when you call in sick?

    Sorry, you don't need questions. You need a dark room and a soft pillow.
     
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    Jennifer you're also sick! This isn't easy for you either. It will get easier. She DOES have support: she has you. I think taking some time away is a good idea. If this job can't be flexible (which it appears they are) it isn't the right one. So break this down into one day at a time stuff. Try to take care of yourself too. The meldown are natural and expected, it's only been a couple weeks. Give it time. Thinking of you and sending cyber hugs xoxoxo ML
     
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    terry no it's a mom, a client a work thing.

    she pushed me after yelling at me, showed no remorse and five minutes later was mommy' all over the place i love you. now she's refusing Occupational Therapist (OT) go to school again.

    ml thanks but she doens't have enough supports. she needs a therapist and this ridiculous woman isn't calling back. so today it's time to search yet again. especially now she needs it. i'm not a therapist, i can't handle all her issues she needs the real deal.

    yea we'll see. i don't even want to go on the appointment.
     
  5. ML

    ML Guest

    Jen, I'm not saying she doesn't need therapist type support. Remember I have one much like yours. We started swimming on Tuesday. His dad picked him up from daycare and he called me at work hysterical, begging me not to make him go. He said he was going to throw up, was crying at school (this is big, he doesn't show his emotion at school, too embarassing) and it was heart wrenching. So I told him to go into the pool area with dad, suit up and take it from there. If it was too much he could watch the first time. I ran out of work as fast as I could. As I got there he was sitting with the group listening to the coaches with his t shirt on. Then when the kids were getting into the pool I said "you're fine, you can do this" and he went but was furious. He kept calling me from the pool while doing laps saying how much he hated me. By the end of the hour he came up to me and said "I kind of like this, I'm sorry I said I hated you". It was so hard for me not to rescue him and say "you don't have to go". I had to put physical distance there to remain strong.

    I realize your situation right now is not exactly the same. I just wanted you to know that I do understand and I hope that dang woman calls you back!!

    ML
     
  6. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Awww, Jennifer, big hugs. So sorry. You do sound exhausted.

    When she doesn't go to school, do you give her consequences? I know you're probably so tired you don't even want to go there.

    D had huge changes this year and a rough school start. His current placement is a partial, and the first few weeks, he had alot of refusal. We disconnected the TV, did not allow video games, and pretty much gave him nothing to do. By the 2nd or 3rd time, he was very bored LOL. We had him doing school work (whatever I could find, free, printed off the net) at the table through the day too.

    I had to quit my job because of his school issues. You're very lucky you can work.

    The pushing, yelling, no remorse, crying after, "Mommy I love you" sounds alot like my son, too. D would do the same. I think alot of it is impulsivity. Acting, making us angry, then when everything is said and done, the thinking part comes in. He still doesn't have that - medications never helped him.

    Good luck with your appointment. and finding a better therapist.
     
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Jen,

    I am so sorry. This transition is rough, as they all are. Sadly, you really NEED to have this job financially. And it is good for you to have something apart from the kids and boyfriend. Something that is yours.

    So look at your baskets (Explosive Child stuff) and ONLY put the absolutely necessary stuff in basket A. Lesser stuff in B, and everything else can slide until you are all used to this new life.

    I know it is heartwrenching. And so painful to see them rage, cycle, and be out of control.

    Call a few other tdocs today, if the one you have has an office-mate call them and see what is up.

    I am right there with you, ALL DAY (well, not in the potty or shower because, well, EEEUUUWWW, but pretty much everywhere else.

    Hugs,

    Susie
     
  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I am so sorry. You sound exhausted!! You have so much on your plate. I give you a lot of credit, you are a true SUPERWOMAN!!!

    The meltdowns alone are tiring not to mention the daily fight to get her to go to school. I remember those days. Hated them!!! And what's up with the darn therapist? You poor thing. You need a break.

    I hope things start looking up for you very soon. Hang in there hun!!! :)
     
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jen,
    I'm sorry-you must be exhausted. You need to get healthy-this stuff has been hanging around a long time. I hope the therapist calls back soon. I've never had to deal with school refusal from difficult child and don't think I would deal with that well at all. I didn't deal well with it when easy child had a couple of days of it.

    I hope you are able to work something out because you really seem to like this job. Gentle hugs to you.
     
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi and by the way i totally appreciate the non conditional support here. bigtime. i havent' been able past week or so to be in as much as normal. yet when i need you guys your there for me, that's huge!!!!

    i'm trying to breath thru it. school is more than just a difficult child issue its' overall and it's time they revamped their system and lack fo understanding regarding children like difficult child, i've had it with them bigtime.

    my job, well my boss is none too thrilled. my cases are all in a bad bad shape most of them. true crisis situations and these ppl truly need me. she thinks i wont' be able to do my job now seeing this after 2 weeks with my difficult child. yet i called client once and than again to assure we could re schedule her appointment today that i was taking her to. i also called my boss twice to ensure that it's all good with-client. i called supervisor and explained to them as well. didnt' bounce around on phone like we know i do when anxiety's high was calm cool and collected so hopefully that'll show them something!

    difficult child's gotta come first. she always has and always will. as far as punishing her goes, i'm fencing it. she is incredibly relived now and was so so bad today. anxiety was thru the roof poor thing, anger, you name it.

    last night was rough also. her anger was thru the roof. i told her i love you baby adn iknow mom put alot on you this week, maybe too much. i said i'm proud of you for keeping it together this long and for doing your job at school and home so well. yet going to school isn't an option. granted today happened, yet tomorrow is friday thank goodness and we need to start with a clean slate again and begin again and stick together thru this.

    i told her i love you and you come first always. yet school is an important part of your life.
     
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