Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I'm new, and I (we) need help.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 586848" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Do you know where you are moving? (I assume so but dont live a military life so didn't want to presume)...</p><p></p><p>I agree, you have a short time left. I think setting anything up now would be useless. I would start now looking at what specialists are there, in the new location.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry your pediatrician said that about a referral. It really is on the pediatrician. to make sure they word the referral so that it is shown how important it is. The one clear thing that is never disputed is that early intervention is most important. I would fight tooth and nail with any pediatrician who denied my knowledge that my son had some serious issues.</p><p></p><p>You say he is not delayed, I assume you mean in terms of ??? self help skills?? playing with other kids? Playing with toys??</p><p></p><p>How does he do with peers? Does he line things up ever? does he have a special kind of toy or game he focuses on....or a special tv show he obsesses over?</p><p></p><p>The most common mistake, even for teachers and psychologists in schools when they have researched behavior assessment, is to say that a child is doing what they do for attention.</p><p></p><p>WE often give a lot of attention to behaviors, that does not mean that is what started the behavior in the first place. Attention can often make a behavior continue. But most frequently, a behaivor is started because the child does not have the skills to do a better option. </p><p></p><p>If he is not understood by anyone but you at home he should absolutely qualify even by insurance standards. He would for sure qualify in teh school system if he is not understood at age three. </p><p></p><p>FInd out your new school district (after you move) and draft a request for evaluation for special education services in writing to send to them even now (if you already have an address to show you are in their district) Say that your son is X years/months and has delays that affect speech, communication and behavior. He is not able to participate in activities due to these challenges. (This is NOT the time to brag about what he is doing better! When asking for services or referrals, just emphasize the concerns...LATER when he is in, you can give more of a balanced view.....I know that is hard)</p><p></p><p>Say you are requesting a full developmental evaluation (dont limit it to speech so you can get a baseline). </p><p></p><p>Then send it return receipt to the director of special education or the director of early childhood special education.</p><p></p><p>That starts a federal and state time clock and they must respond to your request. Once an assessment plan is made they will only have a limited time to complete the assessment too. KEEP all paperwork and communication logged and dated.</p><p></p><p>I agree, to also attack on the private (out of school) front if you can push your insurance to do so. Hopefully your new state and doctor will be better educated on the importance of early intervention. </p><p></p><p>My son was a biter, thrower,etc.too. He has autism. He was diagnosed at age 4. (by the way, the first day my son was home with me, he bit my niece's private area when sitting across from her on a glider/swing...they are right at that level at taht age)</p><p></p><p>I know it is really scary to even think there may be a real diagnosis or big issue going on. There may be, there may not be...but in truth.....it is a relief to know. It helps to know you have tools that match whatever is really going on. </p><p></p><p>Typical parenting does not really work well for kids like this. Time out, etc. does not help a whole bunch. </p><p></p><p>There are many ideas that do help, many from the autism spectrum world, but which really help with any child who is having challenges esp. at your son's age. PIctures to help show where you are going, to show your schedule for the day, to help learn potty training, etc... all are good tools. </p><p></p><p>I'd expect that this move may increase his behaviors, change can be very hard on kids who have challenges like this. Be prepared and dont take it personally. It is not your parenting. It really does sound like he is struggling.</p><p></p><p>If you can get approval (or pay privately) a neuropsychology evaluation or an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician would be great. I'd also get an evaluation from an occupational therapist to see if some of the activity level is due to internal dysregulation or sensory integration problems. That can be subtle. THey will also check motor skills and planning deveopmental levels.</p><p></p><p>I lived a similar life to what you describe when my son was little, though he was in early intervention right away. </p><p></p><p>I know it can be very isolating and challenging. And for me, I wondered if I was a good enough mom for him sometimes. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, glad you found us, I typed in a rush so I am sure others will be along. </p><p></p><p>Oh, you might check out some books</p><p></p><p>The Explosive Child by Ross Greene</p><p>What your Explosive Child is trying to tell you by doug riley</p><p>Floor Time by .....(Steven Gutenburg??? I think, may be wrong)</p><p>RDI....look this up on the web...relationship development inventory I think....again has some really good ideas</p><p></p><p>HUGS, glad you are here!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 586848, member: 12886"] Do you know where you are moving? (I assume so but dont live a military life so didn't want to presume)... I agree, you have a short time left. I think setting anything up now would be useless. I would start now looking at what specialists are there, in the new location. I am so sorry your pediatrician said that about a referral. It really is on the pediatrician. to make sure they word the referral so that it is shown how important it is. The one clear thing that is never disputed is that early intervention is most important. I would fight tooth and nail with any pediatrician who denied my knowledge that my son had some serious issues. You say he is not delayed, I assume you mean in terms of ??? self help skills?? playing with other kids? Playing with toys?? How does he do with peers? Does he line things up ever? does he have a special kind of toy or game he focuses on....or a special tv show he obsesses over? The most common mistake, even for teachers and psychologists in schools when they have researched behavior assessment, is to say that a child is doing what they do for attention. WE often give a lot of attention to behaviors, that does not mean that is what started the behavior in the first place. Attention can often make a behavior continue. But most frequently, a behaivor is started because the child does not have the skills to do a better option. If he is not understood by anyone but you at home he should absolutely qualify even by insurance standards. He would for sure qualify in teh school system if he is not understood at age three. FInd out your new school district (after you move) and draft a request for evaluation for special education services in writing to send to them even now (if you already have an address to show you are in their district) Say that your son is X years/months and has delays that affect speech, communication and behavior. He is not able to participate in activities due to these challenges. (This is NOT the time to brag about what he is doing better! When asking for services or referrals, just emphasize the concerns...LATER when he is in, you can give more of a balanced view.....I know that is hard) Say you are requesting a full developmental evaluation (dont limit it to speech so you can get a baseline). Then send it return receipt to the director of special education or the director of early childhood special education. That starts a federal and state time clock and they must respond to your request. Once an assessment plan is made they will only have a limited time to complete the assessment too. KEEP all paperwork and communication logged and dated. I agree, to also attack on the private (out of school) front if you can push your insurance to do so. Hopefully your new state and doctor will be better educated on the importance of early intervention. My son was a biter, thrower,etc.too. He has autism. He was diagnosed at age 4. (by the way, the first day my son was home with me, he bit my niece's private area when sitting across from her on a glider/swing...they are right at that level at taht age) I know it is really scary to even think there may be a real diagnosis or big issue going on. There may be, there may not be...but in truth.....it is a relief to know. It helps to know you have tools that match whatever is really going on. Typical parenting does not really work well for kids like this. Time out, etc. does not help a whole bunch. There are many ideas that do help, many from the autism spectrum world, but which really help with any child who is having challenges esp. at your son's age. PIctures to help show where you are going, to show your schedule for the day, to help learn potty training, etc... all are good tools. I'd expect that this move may increase his behaviors, change can be very hard on kids who have challenges like this. Be prepared and dont take it personally. It is not your parenting. It really does sound like he is struggling. If you can get approval (or pay privately) a neuropsychology evaluation or an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician would be great. I'd also get an evaluation from an occupational therapist to see if some of the activity level is due to internal dysregulation or sensory integration problems. That can be subtle. THey will also check motor skills and planning deveopmental levels. I lived a similar life to what you describe when my son was little, though he was in early intervention right away. I know it can be very isolating and challenging. And for me, I wondered if I was a good enough mom for him sometimes. Anyway, glad you found us, I typed in a rush so I am sure others will be along. Oh, you might check out some books The Explosive Child by Ross Greene What your Explosive Child is trying to tell you by doug riley Floor Time by .....(Steven Gutenburg??? I think, may be wrong) RDI....look this up on the web...relationship development inventory I think....again has some really good ideas HUGS, glad you are here! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I'm new, and I (we) need help.
Top