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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 426314" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hugs to you... sounds like you are paddling valiantly in stormy waters! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>As everyone has said, you clearly need some outside, specialist assessments and help. No one can diagnose here - your son may have ADHD and/or other disorders but really you need to have this evaluated over time by experts who can observe him. And sounds like you are definitely in a negative cycle of communication with your boy - one I understand and recognise! Although in my case I think things are easier because I don't have other children. J is often one to one with me and like that he is largely fine, as you say. </p><p>I know this sounds counter-intuitive but might your relationship be helped by your spending some time alone with your son each week, real quality time? This also might be a way back into rediscovering his strengths and qualities. But this may not be feasible in your situation, I don't know. You mention over-sensitivity... it is likely that your son is actually feeling very hurt by the fragmented relationship between you and is using his provocation and aggressiveness as a childish, maladaptive way of expressing that upset. What I have absolutely seen with my son - who likely does have ADHD - is that his behaviour improves enormously when he feels loved and secure, liked and appreciated. Welcomed, as it were... When he does not, all the demons start flying around, doing their worst.</p><p>Just a few thoughts. Sounds like something really needs to give in your situation and I hope you can get the respite and help that are vital.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 426314, member: 11227"] Hugs to you... sounds like you are paddling valiantly in stormy waters! :-) As everyone has said, you clearly need some outside, specialist assessments and help. No one can diagnose here - your son may have ADHD and/or other disorders but really you need to have this evaluated over time by experts who can observe him. And sounds like you are definitely in a negative cycle of communication with your boy - one I understand and recognise! Although in my case I think things are easier because I don't have other children. J is often one to one with me and like that he is largely fine, as you say. I know this sounds counter-intuitive but might your relationship be helped by your spending some time alone with your son each week, real quality time? This also might be a way back into rediscovering his strengths and qualities. But this may not be feasible in your situation, I don't know. You mention over-sensitivity... it is likely that your son is actually feeling very hurt by the fragmented relationship between you and is using his provocation and aggressiveness as a childish, maladaptive way of expressing that upset. What I have absolutely seen with my son - who likely does have ADHD - is that his behaviour improves enormously when he feels loved and secure, liked and appreciated. Welcomed, as it were... When he does not, all the demons start flying around, doing their worst. Just a few thoughts. Sounds like something really needs to give in your situation and I hope you can get the respite and help that are vital. [/QUOTE]
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