I'm new here, oh where do I begin?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 30 and searching, Dec 1, 2008.

  1. 30 and searching

    30 and searching New Member

    I came across this forum searching 3- year old behaviors, and it seems like a supportive and welcoming place! I am new to forums in general, I only post on one other, and it is music related, not about parenting. I hope I do everything right. I've become familiar with- the lingo around here by reading some of the threads, so I hope I do alright! LOL

    Our 3 and a half year old son has been showing some odd behaviors lately, and I am getting worried. He has been twirling his blanky, he will twirl it around in front of his face and stare at it. We use to be able to redirect him pretty easily, but lately it's become like an obsession, and he gets upset when we try to stop it.

    He also had a tantrum this morning that I haven't seen since he was two. I got him out of the tub, and he was screaming and crying that he wanted to go back in. I said, " Bath is done now, we have to get ready for school." ( He goes to Early Childhood classes.) He continued to scream and cry, kept saying, "I'm being good! I'm being good in the tub!" I said " Yes you were a good boy in the tub, but we still have to get ready for school!" He continued to cry, and kept saying " I need a hug!!!" I held him for quite awhile, he wouldn't let me go, gripping on for dear life, seemed to be scared!!!!! By the way, he loves school, so it's not a fear of that, so I don't know. Just seemed to have a lot of trouble understanding that he did nothing wrong that ended the bath time?

    This morning, while we were eating breakfast, he was slapping himself in the head. He has done this in the past, but stops when we tell him. I had to tell him 4 times before he stopped this morning. Actually I've been repeating myself a lot lately, over and over on a lot of things, he's either not listening, or doesn't completly understand. I'm seeing some 2- year old behaviors coming back, and I am very worried and disturbed by this!

    I have brought up my concerns about autism, when he was younger with- the early intervention team, several times, and they always said they didn't see it. The teachers he has right now in Early Childhood are noticing he has some sensory issues, but have only mentioned once that he may possibly have ADHD. A lot of family members think he is fine, only my mom has noticed the things I have. I had difficult child 1 when I was 16, he has Autism, and my mom helped out a lot with- him the first few years of his life.

    I'm sorry, I have a habit with- rambling, just trying to fit in some details. I am extremely worried about our 3- year old, and I am not buying the "It's too soon to tell," attitude I've been getting from certain members of my family and from the school. I am lost. I am stressed. I am searching for answers.

    Okay this has gotten lengthy, I want to add one more positive tidbit here. We started our 3 year old on a gluten-free diet about a month and a half ago. Although not much change in hyperactivity, something unexpected happened. His language exploded! He is doing much better expressing himself and using his words, and I am so grateful for that! It is now the innapropriate, and self- stimming behaviors that have been popping up, that I am really concerned about.
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi and welcome, 30 and searching.

    As I was reading through the early parts of your thread I was wondering if Autism had been considered. Personally I wouldn't leave that to teachers and early childhood team members to decide. While I'd consider their input, I'd definitely want an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician, Autism Clinic, or someone else who specialized in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)'s.

    I can't speak for other disorders, but with Autism it is common for young children to explode in one area while backsliding in some other areas. It's almost as if they can only handle so much developmentally at one time.

    You might want to double check and make sure that they're keeping strictly gfcg at school as some kids are very sensitive to changes. Another thought is that while some kids do extremely well on the gluten-free, casein-free diet, others overall do not.

    I hope things improve soon. It's so hard to see the little ones struggle so much.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have a son who has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified and I kept being told they didn't see autism either, but he had it and thank god we got him into interventions even without a diagnosis. I would have him seen by an Autism Clinic or a neuropsychologist and get him into interventions even if you CAN'T get a diagnosis. He has a lot of red flags for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and, unless he has classical autism (and it doesn't sound like he does) it can be missed until much later, when the time for early intervention is too late. Some Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids regress. Mine didn't, but about 15% do. Teachers/educators are not qualified to either catch it or diagnose it. You need to have him evaluated. And you'll probably need to do it again at age five. He is not a typical three year old, and you should keep an eye on him. By the way, it is common for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids to have no language one day and suddenly seem to blast into language the next. But does he repeat the same things or talk to you in an interactive way? My son started talking by echoing television programs and things I said. Now he is 15 and speaks really well and is doing great.
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Hi and i wanted to jump in and welcome you as well. :)
  5. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Welcome. CAn you take him to a specialist right away? just do it.
    Also...is it maybe simply doing a little regressing as the newness of big boy stuff is not as safe as the younger stuff?
    My son loved the bath at that age. It tugged when you quoted him" I am being good." He sounds like a sweetie. Also although my son never used a bottle he went into a long drawn out thing about wanting a bottle long after he had been drinking out of a cup. About the age your boy is now.
    Glade you found this spot. How we will be reading about what you discover as time goes by.
  6. 30 and searching

    30 and searching New Member

    Thankyou all for the welcomes! We will be taking him to see a specialist in the near future, hopefully in a month or so. I know, I wish we could get him in sooner, but we have insurance issues right now. Well, actually we have no insurance right now. But if things go the way there supposed to, we should have it in roughly a month.

    He will need a referral from his regular pediatrician, right? It's been years since I've gone through this process, and I don't exactly remeber all the formalities of it. Plus, I'm sure some things have probably changed since 11 years ago, when my oldest was diagnosed with- autism.

    To answer a question... yes, my little guy did repeat phrases from television, and what we said, when he first started talking. He still does every once in a great while, but for the most part, he is talking great right now. He uses full sentences most of the time, and with-in the last month, will speak 3 or four sentences in a row. He answers questions, and also asks a lot more questions as well! He is a very bright and curious little boy, shows affection, and likes to interact. He has good eye contact. If he is on the spectrum, I think he would be very high functioning. Or possibly Asperger's? I have no answers, I just know that he has been having more questionable moments than he has for awhile now.

    The thing is, he can act and behave like any other 3- year old somedays, and others, I'm just freaking out, not understanding how I can help him. I know he is capable of so much, and I want the best, brightest future for him!

    Having an older son with- autism, I can't help but compare them sometimes, although they are COMPLETELY different kids. My oldest was and still is extremely aggressive. My youngest is not. My oldest is 14 and functions on the level of 18 mos- 3 yrs old. My youngest has hit 90% of 3 yr. old milestones. I could compare all the huge major differences in level of ability between the two... but that would be very time- consuming.... kinda like my posts! LOL Lets just say my youngest is more high functioning at the age of 3, then my oldest at 14. But having said that, I do see that there are some red flags, and I hope to get them addressed sooner than later. I have tried to remain positive, and say to myself, " Maybe it is just a phase, maybe he will grow out of it?" But that is living in a fantasy land.... and I know it.

    OMG... this is so long again.. Sorry! I would like to say that yes he is still kind of attached to the baby phase. Took him a long time to get off the nuk, He absolutely will not part with- baby blankets..( We've introduced new, bigger ones, he will have no part of!) Every once in awhile when we tell him he's a big boy, he will say " I'm a baby!" with- a big smile on his face... and a babyish tone to his voice. Maybe he is havin trouble adjusting to the big boy phase a little... but I know when he says he's a baby... it's to get a rise from us! Thank you all for the replies, I feel this is a great place I have stumbled upon! Not all my posts will be so long.... promise!!
  7. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Every parent I've ever heard with more than one child on the spectrum has said that they present very differently. Not just in ability level, but also in the traits themselves. Some are more social, some more prone to sensory issues, some more verbal, etc.

    Below is an article about getting the evaluation process rolling. What has changed significantly is the wait time. You might want to call your pediatrician right away for the referral because first time appointments are usually 3-6 months out. There are exceptions of course but that's pretty typical.

  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Actually, my son is very high functioning and he doesn't make good eye contact, although he is very verbal and doing well in school (he made the honor roll). He also has friends, but he really didn't have many until a few years ago. And he doesn't always like to see them--for example, he likes to see movies by himself. All kids on the spectrum are very different. The one common ground is that they are impaired in social development. Even though my son always smiled and pointed, he did not really know how (nor really care) about appropriately interacting with his peers. When he was little he'd run around with other kids, but, as he got older, it got harder and he didn't seem to mind being alone. But some Aspies do mind having few or no friends. My son started social skills classes before he hit age two. If your son is in Early Childhood, I'd make sure he gets help for his social skills.
  9. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    Welcome! I was also going to mention that is sounds like a high functioning form of Autism such as Asbergers. I have been searching abt. it a lot lately after watching a show on Discovery Health abt. a family with 6 natural autistic children within every range.
  10. 30 and searching

    30 and searching New Member

    I have to see that show! My mom and my cousin have also said they saw a show with- a family who has 6 autistic children. Unfortunately I do not have Discovery channel, cuz we don't have cable. Too expensive for our budget.

    I hope to get this ball rolling soon, to set up an appointment with- our 3- year old's pediatrician. Spoke with- husband, we'll have to see if we can get one on a Saturday, ( he works days, mon- fri... and he would like to be there, and I want him there too!) Thanks for the link SRL, very helpful. I hope the pediatrician is onboard with- our concerns, and will give a refferal.

    Midwest mom, your son made honor roll, that is awesome! I'm glad he is doing so well with- his academics! My little guy knows all his colors, shapes, some opposites, he can count to ten... sometimes twenty but not consistently. He knows what numbers are, but cannot look at the number 9 for example, and know it is the number 9. He has trouble identifying letters as well. Although if his name is written on paper, he knows it's his name, and will say it.

    I will talk to his teachers about working on social skills, I agree, he could definately use some work in that area. His teacher did tell me at conference that he's got a friend in the class, so that is cool. I asked if he was hyper like our guy was, and she said no, he's a mellow kid. Wow. I've noticed in general, our boy does not really talk to other kids his age very much at all... seems to prefer talking to adults more... which I've also read is common for some kids with- autism. He does like to play along side other kids, and imitate them sometimes, but is also extremely content in doing his own thing.

    My hubby wants computer time... but later tonight I hope to post a link to some new autism research I found to be quite interesting. Hope everyone is doing well, and thankyou all for the suggestions, and support!:D