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<blockquote data-quote="canthandleitanymore" data-source="post: 213320" data-attributes="member: 6345"><p>Thanks to all of you! I could cry just knowing there are people who understand this and care, especially total strangers. </p><p> </p><p>MidwestMom -- Thank you for validating my fears and thoughts. I'm no psychiatrist, but I know that something is SEVERELY wrong with this child. Part of the problem is that Dad hasn't a clue how to deal with him. He doesn't know where to even begin getting help. I will keep your suggestion in mind not to write him off as simply a "bad kid." Some days it's so hard....</p><p> </p><p>1) Dad and I have talked about this. There's no substance abuse or psychiatric history on his side of the family. However, mom is a mess. I'm not in a position to call her an alcoholic or addict, but I do know that she abuses both drugs and alcohol. She was recently fired from her job of 13+ years and I suspect her alcohol/drug use played a part in that. Her boyfriend is an alcoholic. Dad isn't sure about mental illness, although he knows she has been in psychotherapy in the past. Does anyone know of a good way to get this out of her? She doesn't care about what's good for her son, she would never give Dad that information for Johnny's good. I thought about requesting a medical history form from Johnny's doctor and asking her to mail it back to the doctor instead of us. That way she could maintain confidentiality. She's just so unreliable, it's hard telling if she'd bother to fill it out.</p><p> </p><p>Also, Dad's mother told me recently that Mom drank alcohol throughout her pregnancy. Dad doesn't remember it that way, but more about his observations below...</p><p> </p><p>2) I'll talk to Dad about this. Problem with his is, he is very ADD himself. On top of that, he is a man! He is sometimes just plain oblivious -- doesn't see the forest for the trees. As an example, one time he was so into a TV show that he didn't even see his new puppy lifting his leg on the entertainment center right in front of him! So at any rate, dad's memory is poor at best. It's not that he didn't care, he just doesn't pay attention. But I'll see what I can muster up from the cobwebs of his memory.</p><p> </p><p>I can tell you from my observations that Johnny does not play with toys at all. Eye contact now is fine, but peer interaction is awful. He has no friends at all and is picked on at school. I watched him recently at a school Halloween party just to observe his interactions with other kids. There were none -- he darted around from activity to activity all on his own. He never approached another child or vice versa. I know kids from his class were there so it wasn't for lack of opportunity. He just doesn't have any friends.</p><p> </p><p>He does have trouble with transitions; I always attributed this to the ADHD. Maybe that's why he is SO difficult after an outing...because it's hard for him to go from fun to nothing? We can hardly even take him anywhere because it always ends with such a scene. </p><p> </p><p>He actually does stare sometimes, although I've never paid a ton of attention to it. One time, a year or so ago, he was very upset about something. I don't remember what. He was sitting on the couch in hysterics and then it evolved into a seizure-like state. His eyes were partially rolled back, his teeth were clenched, and he was almost foaming at the mouth. He was also trembling. I didn't know what to do and so I just rubbed his head and held his hand. I talked quietly and calmly to him and eventually he snapped out of it. Until that point, he just sat there staring straight ahead. I have no seen such a severe episode like that since, however.</p><p> </p><p>I will fill post more when I find out more. I cannot THANK you all enough for being such wonderful resources!! We are going to complete the Parent Report and Assessment, too -- for whom, I'm not sure, but at least it will all be in one place when we need it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="canthandleitanymore, post: 213320, member: 6345"] Thanks to all of you! I could cry just knowing there are people who understand this and care, especially total strangers. MidwestMom -- Thank you for validating my fears and thoughts. I'm no psychiatrist, but I know that something is SEVERELY wrong with this child. Part of the problem is that Dad hasn't a clue how to deal with him. He doesn't know where to even begin getting help. I will keep your suggestion in mind not to write him off as simply a "bad kid." Some days it's so hard.... 1) Dad and I have talked about this. There's no substance abuse or psychiatric history on his side of the family. However, mom is a mess. I'm not in a position to call her an alcoholic or addict, but I do know that she abuses both drugs and alcohol. She was recently fired from her job of 13+ years and I suspect her alcohol/drug use played a part in that. Her boyfriend is an alcoholic. Dad isn't sure about mental illness, although he knows she has been in psychotherapy in the past. Does anyone know of a good way to get this out of her? She doesn't care about what's good for her son, she would never give Dad that information for Johnny's good. I thought about requesting a medical history form from Johnny's doctor and asking her to mail it back to the doctor instead of us. That way she could maintain confidentiality. She's just so unreliable, it's hard telling if she'd bother to fill it out. Also, Dad's mother told me recently that Mom drank alcohol throughout her pregnancy. Dad doesn't remember it that way, but more about his observations below... 2) I'll talk to Dad about this. Problem with his is, he is very ADD himself. On top of that, he is a man! He is sometimes just plain oblivious -- doesn't see the forest for the trees. As an example, one time he was so into a TV show that he didn't even see his new puppy lifting his leg on the entertainment center right in front of him! So at any rate, dad's memory is poor at best. It's not that he didn't care, he just doesn't pay attention. But I'll see what I can muster up from the cobwebs of his memory. I can tell you from my observations that Johnny does not play with toys at all. Eye contact now is fine, but peer interaction is awful. He has no friends at all and is picked on at school. I watched him recently at a school Halloween party just to observe his interactions with other kids. There were none -- he darted around from activity to activity all on his own. He never approached another child or vice versa. I know kids from his class were there so it wasn't for lack of opportunity. He just doesn't have any friends. He does have trouble with transitions; I always attributed this to the ADHD. Maybe that's why he is SO difficult after an outing...because it's hard for him to go from fun to nothing? We can hardly even take him anywhere because it always ends with such a scene. He actually does stare sometimes, although I've never paid a ton of attention to it. One time, a year or so ago, he was very upset about something. I don't remember what. He was sitting on the couch in hysterics and then it evolved into a seizure-like state. His eyes were partially rolled back, his teeth were clenched, and he was almost foaming at the mouth. He was also trembling. I didn't know what to do and so I just rubbed his head and held his hand. I talked quietly and calmly to him and eventually he snapped out of it. Until that point, he just sat there staring straight ahead. I have no seen such a severe episode like that since, however. I will fill post more when I find out more. I cannot THANK you all enough for being such wonderful resources!! We are going to complete the Parent Report and Assessment, too -- for whom, I'm not sure, but at least it will all be in one place when we need it. [/QUOTE]
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