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Parent Emeritus
I'm new I can see I'm not as alone as I thought
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 653740" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Her father is a lawyer. Likely he knows what he can and can not do to retain custody of his child. You don't have to be a great parent to keep your child. I don't know about systems in other countries, but I do know that the child would need to be left alone or beaten with bruises for the parents to lose rights in the U.S. Giving kids electronics is very mainstream, even for entertainment and that would get nowhere in court. Even that the child isn't clean doesn't matter. Your SonIL enabling your daughter is not going to be an issue. It's about how he interacts with his child and he doesn't have to meet a very high bar.</p><p></p><p>When I worked at a child care facility, we had three or social workers from Child Protective Services come to talk to us as workers with deprived children who we knew darn well were not necessarily getting their needs met. We were told how hard it is to take children away from their parents unless there is proof (and they said proof, not just hearsay or what somebody thinks) or neglect or documented abuse that is seen by a doctor.</p><p></p><p>I hope things go better for you than what these CPS workers said. They were trying to tell us not to expect a child's parent to lose custody of their kid unless the situation was extreme. We had one kid who routinely showed up with caked dog poop on her shoes and all the workers did was talk to the mother. Nothing changed and she never lost custody. Maybe she had to take parenting classes. Who knows?</p><p></p><p>If you suspect drug use, the parent must be caught using the drugs. There needs to be proof. Do we protect our children well? I don't think so. Your biggest asset is that you did have A LOT to do with your grandson and the court will probably take that into consideration and at least possibly allow visitation. I hope so. If not, your daughter may lose even visitation rights or only be allowed supervised visits. Father is not unfit by how you described him, even if he isn't the most active or involved.</p><p></p><p>At any rate, do what you must and try your hardest and tons of support and luck from me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 653740, member: 1550"] Her father is a lawyer. Likely he knows what he can and can not do to retain custody of his child. You don't have to be a great parent to keep your child. I don't know about systems in other countries, but I do know that the child would need to be left alone or beaten with bruises for the parents to lose rights in the U.S. Giving kids electronics is very mainstream, even for entertainment and that would get nowhere in court. Even that the child isn't clean doesn't matter. Your SonIL enabling your daughter is not going to be an issue. It's about how he interacts with his child and he doesn't have to meet a very high bar. When I worked at a child care facility, we had three or social workers from Child Protective Services come to talk to us as workers with deprived children who we knew darn well were not necessarily getting their needs met. We were told how hard it is to take children away from their parents unless there is proof (and they said proof, not just hearsay or what somebody thinks) or neglect or documented abuse that is seen by a doctor. I hope things go better for you than what these CPS workers said. They were trying to tell us not to expect a child's parent to lose custody of their kid unless the situation was extreme. We had one kid who routinely showed up with caked dog poop on her shoes and all the workers did was talk to the mother. Nothing changed and she never lost custody. Maybe she had to take parenting classes. Who knows? If you suspect drug use, the parent must be caught using the drugs. There needs to be proof. Do we protect our children well? I don't think so. Your biggest asset is that you did have A LOT to do with your grandson and the court will probably take that into consideration and at least possibly allow visitation. I hope so. If not, your daughter may lose even visitation rights or only be allowed supervised visits. Father is not unfit by how you described him, even if he isn't the most active or involved. At any rate, do what you must and try your hardest and tons of support and luck from me. [/QUOTE]
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