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I'm new I can see I'm not as alone as I thought
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<blockquote data-quote="Isla" data-source="post: 654016" data-attributes="member: 18941"><p>Thank you for your kind and wise words Cedar! Yes you are so right! Yes I understand I can never replace the "role" of my daughter as my granddaughter's mummy. It is so apparent that she innately craves a connection with her mother. It is sad to watch how disconnected her mother is to her though. But you're right, she knows no differently and has adapted to the chaos in her own way. She is remarkably self reliant, I see as a strength, her parents misinterpret as a nuisance.</p><p></p><p>It's just heartbreaking when even her birthday isn't acknowledged, or building her up to the excitement of celebrating traditions. Her birthdays have always been celebrated at our house. Her child care centre always put on parties for the children on their birthdays, but the parents need to advise them and provide the cake for the children. Poor little girl didn't even know it was her 3rd birthday as her mother didn't tell anyone. I went to the centre and asked but they had no clue it was her birthday. So I ran out and brought her class cupcakes. The smile on her face when she got to be like the other kids to have a turn at being sung happy birthday to and blew out her candles was priceless. I felt so sorry her parents couldn't see what they miss out on, for her and for their own sake. I took a short video and her father wanted to make a complaint that the teacher didn't tie her hair back when she blew out the one candle! Grrrrr.....</p><p></p><p>My hope now is we can have enough access to her to continue with celebrations, such as the build up to Christmas. She otherwise would have known nothing about Christmas songs or the delight of a Christmas tree and other festive fun that her parents do not see as important to a child.</p><p></p><p>Their little minds are so malleable, they are little sponges. We so love teaching her about all the wonderful abundance around her. The beauty each season brings, collecting colourful autumn leaves and learning about different kinds of flowers etc. My husband has begun to teach her German which she has picked up on so easily. I guess this is the kind of things that break our hearts. Her not given these opportunities of which she so adores and thrives.</p><p></p><p>I have to accept the "isness" of the situation and have faith there is a higher purpose. Life changes constantly, this is one of those changes. It is just hard to adjust right now after having experienced so much joy.</p><p></p><p>Thank you so much - and big hugs <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Isla, post: 654016, member: 18941"] Thank you for your kind and wise words Cedar! Yes you are so right! Yes I understand I can never replace the "role" of my daughter as my granddaughter's mummy. It is so apparent that she innately craves a connection with her mother. It is sad to watch how disconnected her mother is to her though. But you're right, she knows no differently and has adapted to the chaos in her own way. She is remarkably self reliant, I see as a strength, her parents misinterpret as a nuisance. It's just heartbreaking when even her birthday isn't acknowledged, or building her up to the excitement of celebrating traditions. Her birthdays have always been celebrated at our house. Her child care centre always put on parties for the children on their birthdays, but the parents need to advise them and provide the cake for the children. Poor little girl didn't even know it was her 3rd birthday as her mother didn't tell anyone. I went to the centre and asked but they had no clue it was her birthday. So I ran out and brought her class cupcakes. The smile on her face when she got to be like the other kids to have a turn at being sung happy birthday to and blew out her candles was priceless. I felt so sorry her parents couldn't see what they miss out on, for her and for their own sake. I took a short video and her father wanted to make a complaint that the teacher didn't tie her hair back when she blew out the one candle! Grrrrr..... My hope now is we can have enough access to her to continue with celebrations, such as the build up to Christmas. She otherwise would have known nothing about Christmas songs or the delight of a Christmas tree and other festive fun that her parents do not see as important to a child. Their little minds are so malleable, they are little sponges. We so love teaching her about all the wonderful abundance around her. The beauty each season brings, collecting colourful autumn leaves and learning about different kinds of flowers etc. My husband has begun to teach her German which she has picked up on so easily. I guess this is the kind of things that break our hearts. Her not given these opportunities of which she so adores and thrives. I have to accept the "isness" of the situation and have faith there is a higher purpose. Life changes constantly, this is one of those changes. It is just hard to adjust right now after having experienced so much joy. Thank you so much - and big hugs :-) [/QUOTE]
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