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I'm new...I recently had to put my son out..trying to cope.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 611024" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>He is an adult now. Lots of kids have less than perfect homes and parents are human. He is making his own choices and disrespecting you and Grandma and stealing and using drugs (the key factor here) are all his own choices and he does not sound like "not a bad person." Maybe he wasn't before the drugs, but he is what he is NOW and you did the right thing. So did your brother.</p><p></p><p>The art of detachment is truly wonderful and freeing. If you are up to it, Nar-Anon groups are great support systems. So is NAMI. You need to talk to other adults who are going what through you are. Enabling your son will not make him choose to make good choices. He has to stop the drugs first. He may be more involved with drugs than you know. Drug users/addicts lie, steal and disrespectful people and social norms. Been there/done that.</p><p></p><p>You can't save him. Only one person can make him change...himself. And he has to WANT to change. Right now it seems he'd rather sleep on a park bench than change. He is not alone. It puzzles us, but to them it makes sense. The drugs are more important than anything else. And until they desperately want to quit, their priorities will continue to be skewed.</p><p></p><p>YOU on the other hand deserve to have a good and peaceful life and not be bogged down by your adult child's horrible choices and drama. I'm sure there are others in your life who love you and will treat you well. And of course you need to learn to love yourself too. Be good to yourself and try to pull away from this grown child's catastrophic lifestyle. You can't help him by worrying or by begging with him. He will come to you if he wants to change and, if he is sincere, then you can help him. Not until. Hugs <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I know it's hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 611024, member: 1550"] He is an adult now. Lots of kids have less than perfect homes and parents are human. He is making his own choices and disrespecting you and Grandma and stealing and using drugs (the key factor here) are all his own choices and he does not sound like "not a bad person." Maybe he wasn't before the drugs, but he is what he is NOW and you did the right thing. So did your brother. The art of detachment is truly wonderful and freeing. If you are up to it, Nar-Anon groups are great support systems. So is NAMI. You need to talk to other adults who are going what through you are. Enabling your son will not make him choose to make good choices. He has to stop the drugs first. He may be more involved with drugs than you know. Drug users/addicts lie, steal and disrespectful people and social norms. Been there/done that. You can't save him. Only one person can make him change...himself. And he has to WANT to change. Right now it seems he'd rather sleep on a park bench than change. He is not alone. It puzzles us, but to them it makes sense. The drugs are more important than anything else. And until they desperately want to quit, their priorities will continue to be skewed. YOU on the other hand deserve to have a good and peaceful life and not be bogged down by your adult child's horrible choices and drama. I'm sure there are others in your life who love you and will treat you well. And of course you need to learn to love yourself too. Be good to yourself and try to pull away from this grown child's catastrophic lifestyle. You can't help him by worrying or by begging with him. He will come to you if he wants to change and, if he is sincere, then you can help him. Not until. Hugs :) I know it's hard. [/QUOTE]
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I'm new...I recently had to put my son out..trying to cope.
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