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I'm new...I recently had to put my son out..trying to cope.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scott_G" data-source="post: 611259" data-attributes="member: 16626"><p>Recently I have read a couple of articles about "millenials" and was both surprised and disgusted at how many 18- 30 somethings are living with their parents these days. One of the articles said that in a survey of parents of adult children, 50% of the parents said it was okay for adult children to move back home no matter what their ages. in my opinion difficult child or not, 18 years old or HS graduation (whichever comes later) you are an ADULT, and unless you are going to college, you are a big boy/girl now and you are on your own. When I graduated from college, my mother gave me a check for $2000 and said "You're on your own now son." Sure there are good adult kids who live with mom and dad and pull thier weight, but regardless, in my opinion, letting them continue to live at home just allows them to continue to be teenagers indefinitely. It's even worse if drugs and/or behavioral problems are involved. Despite my talking a good game, our son lived with us twice as an adult, not by my will, but because I let my wife brow beat me into allowing it. His behavior at our house absolutely disgusted me. How DARE a grown man sit on my couch all day smoking pot and eating my food, and being disrespectful to us. The second time when he lived with us (21-22 years old) He actually had the nerve to tell us that he didn't understand why we wouldn't just support him. The absolute nerve of someone who is supposed to be a grown man to say something like that. He's 31 now and still a screw up. But that's his problem and not mine. He will get no help from us as long as my wife and I stay married, and I am well past the point of feeling any guilt about it. </p><p></p><p>At 18 to say 21 or 22, when you threaten to kick them out, don't believe the threats about sleeping on a park bench, behind a dumpster, etc. These are idle threats and it's not going to happen. Young adult difficult children are very adept at couch surfing. We kicked our son out twice, and he NEVER spent a night sleeping on the street.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scott_G, post: 611259, member: 16626"] Recently I have read a couple of articles about "millenials" and was both surprised and disgusted at how many 18- 30 somethings are living with their parents these days. One of the articles said that in a survey of parents of adult children, 50% of the parents said it was okay for adult children to move back home no matter what their ages. in my opinion difficult child or not, 18 years old or HS graduation (whichever comes later) you are an ADULT, and unless you are going to college, you are a big boy/girl now and you are on your own. When I graduated from college, my mother gave me a check for $2000 and said "You're on your own now son." Sure there are good adult kids who live with mom and dad and pull thier weight, but regardless, in my opinion, letting them continue to live at home just allows them to continue to be teenagers indefinitely. It's even worse if drugs and/or behavioral problems are involved. Despite my talking a good game, our son lived with us twice as an adult, not by my will, but because I let my wife brow beat me into allowing it. His behavior at our house absolutely disgusted me. How DARE a grown man sit on my couch all day smoking pot and eating my food, and being disrespectful to us. The second time when he lived with us (21-22 years old) He actually had the nerve to tell us that he didn't understand why we wouldn't just support him. The absolute nerve of someone who is supposed to be a grown man to say something like that. He's 31 now and still a screw up. But that's his problem and not mine. He will get no help from us as long as my wife and I stay married, and I am well past the point of feeling any guilt about it. At 18 to say 21 or 22, when you threaten to kick them out, don't believe the threats about sleeping on a park bench, behind a dumpster, etc. These are idle threats and it's not going to happen. Young adult difficult children are very adept at couch surfing. We kicked our son out twice, and he NEVER spent a night sleeping on the street. [/QUOTE]
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