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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 115244" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Every parent has the need and right to have their own philosophy about using labels and I do respect that. I do want to give you some food for thought based on my experience though.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child developed a fascination with the alphabet at 18 months, spelled his first word at 28 months, wrote his first letters before he turned 3. By 3 1/2 he could read anything you put in front of him and was writing words and sentences. Naturally we just thought he was brilliant! No speech differences were noted by then and in fact he had been ahead of his peers in early speech skills and had a huge vocabulary. His interests/obsessions were very different than other kids (alphabet, words, geography, geology, marine life, etc). I was a science teacher and had a great time when he was into things like rocks and minerals--we'd sit down with his collection and check the elements in each on a periodic table.</p><p></p><p>He's always been a difficult child, but when he was approaching five I started seeing some speech differences and started asking questions which eventually led to an evaluation. some reasons I can think of off the top of my head that we didn't chalk everything up to his just being smart:</p><p>1) Even though I am a very concerned, educated, and observant parent, there were things I missed that would have been best addressed when my difficult child was young. I would have benefited from the education and in some cases he would have benefited from therapy. Some examples would be fine motor skills and sensory issues. It would have helped him and saved us many, many frustrating batttles had we understood this realm. Early intervention is far more effective on issues, than waiting for a child to fail in an area and addressing it later.</p><p>2) I didn't fully realize the social implications of a child who is different. He wanted to solely converse about spelling or the moons of Jupiter when his peers were into Legos. He had great difficulty in seeing things through the eyes of others which, which is critical for getting along socially. The school (through speech) has done a ton for my difficult child in helping him naviagate the social realm. I'm watching a classmate of my daughter's with similar traits who hasn't had any help and he's hit the 3rd grade now and is totally washing out socially. As peers get older, things like odd speech patterns and not being able to communicate about regular kid topics really stand out and frequently make the child a target for bullying. My daughter has had to intervene with this boy both with classmates and informing the teacher because she's in tune to what's happening.</p><p>3) By the time we were through the evaluation process my difficult child had passed out of some of his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits, which led to us having to apply for school services without a full diagnosis. At first I was thrilled he was only clinically borderline Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but it turned out to be a real headache later. It is easier all the way around (school, insurance for therapies, etc) to have a diagnosis on hand when the child is young. If a parent needs it, they have it. If they don't need it, there's no need to share it.</p><p>4) Having a label has given me a direction to look to for information, as well as for advice and experiences from other parents. Had I just been cruising on alone thinking I had a smart, difficult kid on my hands I would have missed out on a wealth of info and advice that has made a huge difference in my difficult child's progress and in him functioning in our home and out in the world.</p><p></p><p>Again, I am always in favor of having as much data available on kids who are difficult and/or struggling. I don't see a label as a weight to hang around the child's neck for life--I see it as a road sign pointing parents and others who work with the child in a direction for helping them. I see a label as a tool to work for my child and nothing else. With what you're describing in N along with the family history, I would suggest considering a formal evaluation just to know where he stands.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I understand. When my 3rd child came along I was constantly calling a friend to ask where her daughter was at. It turns out that my daughter is very typical but with very different interests from my boys. My perceptions of what was normal were so skewed from the two kiddos I'd had first.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 115244, member: 701"] Every parent has the need and right to have their own philosophy about using labels and I do respect that. I do want to give you some food for thought based on my experience though. My difficult child developed a fascination with the alphabet at 18 months, spelled his first word at 28 months, wrote his first letters before he turned 3. By 3 1/2 he could read anything you put in front of him and was writing words and sentences. Naturally we just thought he was brilliant! No speech differences were noted by then and in fact he had been ahead of his peers in early speech skills and had a huge vocabulary. His interests/obsessions were very different than other kids (alphabet, words, geography, geology, marine life, etc). I was a science teacher and had a great time when he was into things like rocks and minerals--we'd sit down with his collection and check the elements in each on a periodic table. He's always been a difficult child, but when he was approaching five I started seeing some speech differences and started asking questions which eventually led to an evaluation. some reasons I can think of off the top of my head that we didn't chalk everything up to his just being smart: 1) Even though I am a very concerned, educated, and observant parent, there were things I missed that would have been best addressed when my difficult child was young. I would have benefited from the education and in some cases he would have benefited from therapy. Some examples would be fine motor skills and sensory issues. It would have helped him and saved us many, many frustrating batttles had we understood this realm. Early intervention is far more effective on issues, than waiting for a child to fail in an area and addressing it later. 2) I didn't fully realize the social implications of a child who is different. He wanted to solely converse about spelling or the moons of Jupiter when his peers were into Legos. He had great difficulty in seeing things through the eyes of others which, which is critical for getting along socially. The school (through speech) has done a ton for my difficult child in helping him naviagate the social realm. I'm watching a classmate of my daughter's with similar traits who hasn't had any help and he's hit the 3rd grade now and is totally washing out socially. As peers get older, things like odd speech patterns and not being able to communicate about regular kid topics really stand out and frequently make the child a target for bullying. My daughter has had to intervene with this boy both with classmates and informing the teacher because she's in tune to what's happening. 3) By the time we were through the evaluation process my difficult child had passed out of some of his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits, which led to us having to apply for school services without a full diagnosis. At first I was thrilled he was only clinically borderline Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but it turned out to be a real headache later. It is easier all the way around (school, insurance for therapies, etc) to have a diagnosis on hand when the child is young. If a parent needs it, they have it. If they don't need it, there's no need to share it. 4) Having a label has given me a direction to look to for information, as well as for advice and experiences from other parents. Had I just been cruising on alone thinking I had a smart, difficult kid on my hands I would have missed out on a wealth of info and advice that has made a huge difference in my difficult child's progress and in him functioning in our home and out in the world. Again, I am always in favor of having as much data available on kids who are difficult and/or struggling. I don't see a label as a weight to hang around the child's neck for life--I see it as a road sign pointing parents and others who work with the child in a direction for helping them. I see a label as a tool to work for my child and nothing else. With what you're describing in N along with the family history, I would suggest considering a formal evaluation just to know where he stands. I understand. When my 3rd child came along I was constantly calling a friend to ask where her daughter was at. It turns out that my daughter is very typical but with very different interests from my boys. My perceptions of what was normal were so skewed from the two kiddos I'd had first. [/QUOTE]
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