Hello friends, I have been weeping and wailing today (this happened about a week ago out of sadness of infertility, it was kind of uncontrollable a week ago). This intense wailing, though may happen on occasion, is not a normal thing for me. (I'm taking a pill for a physical issue and I suspect that it's exacerbating my strong emotions). Today it's about my son. I no longer know how to cope with living with him. He has actually been pretty sweet to me (other than disobeying me yesterday morning) the past 2-3 days. He has wanted to come up and talk to me and show me things, etc. But I am REALLY struggling with anger. I know I am supposed to love him unconditionally, but I can't even like him right now. (a week ago I was alone with him and it was a scary situation - I should have called the cops). It's such an emotional roller coaster ride...most of the time, going down, not up) I have been living in an abusive relationship for years now (with-my son) and he is the abuser. How do you cope? When do you know you can't take it anymore and you need to get help for yourself? I'm a believer in Jesus and if I didn't have Him and his grace and mercy, hope and love - I wouldn't have made it this far, that's for sure. I see that many of you have issues with depression, etc. HOW CAN WE NOT in the situations WE HAVE been forced to live in? I think I've had mild depression for a while now....and some days I feel really good. But there are times when it is definitely moderate. I'm afraid to take drugs - - when I read about them, it sounds like they can do more harm than good - - they can cause suicidal feelings, make your depression worse, etc. I have been trying to take better care of myself physically (I am in shape and exercise a lot, but like sugar too much and don't get enough sleep). That's my first plan of action (and maybe a little trip away). I definitely want to see a naturopath before I see a psychiatrist. It truly freaks me out, though I know it does many people a world of good. But something definitely has to change.