Late this week, I asked difficult child if she was going to be around, she said yes, so I asked her if she wanted to join H and I at a friends BBQ for their sons grad-they are like family so she knows them well. difficult child said sure and then I invited E and her and his boys to stop by on fathers day...again, yes. Yesterday, I texted difficult child at work and received no response. Later, I texted her again, no response. So I texted E and he responded that difficult child had left already for LI. To go see her bio dad. Not a word to me about it, that she was canceling our plans, skipping fathers day, whatever.... Let me back up a little: Last week she stopped by in the morning before work and went on and on about this great card she found for her bio dad, he was going to love it, etc. In my head I couldn't help but wonder if she had even gotten H a card, let alone made a plan for fathers day. I told here that I'd like to get H a new grill to replace the one stolen and asked if she could kick in a little $$. She said she didn't really have any money. In the next breath she said she might go to LI, and take the ferry which costs about $60 for car and driver. I didn't say anything, and maybe I should have but, I didn't trust myself. Back to yesterday. I texted he a msg later in the evening and told her that she could have let me know she wasn't going to be around, that I had planned on it, etc. She immediately accused me of trying to ruin her visit with her dad, which I was not and said as much. She claimed she never got my texts and then said, "I have your money and I'll be home tomorrow and I have a card for H". It was hostile. So this afternoon, she called H to wish him a happy fathers day, noticeably after she is well away from her bio dads family (her cousin went with her). I cannot believe that after all this time she still feels she is somehow being disloyal by acknowledging H's role in her life, that he has been a father to her in just about every way except sperm donor. Even exh acknowledges it in rare moments. on the other hand, I'm sure difficult child was thrilled to make it out that I was trying to ruin their visit and deliberately not contacting H until after she was well away from them. I know that this all sounds so petty, but this is totally difficult child's MO. She's always been so righteous about how freaking great her bio dad is and made H out to be an imposter, when H is the one who was around for all the hard stuff and who put up with a lot ... A.LOT...of garbage from difficult child. And still loved her and was a father to her. With easy child in Africa, I guess I was relying on difficult child a little. So today was kind of sucky. The grill I tried to buy H won't be in until Wednesday, so we are not grilling today. No one came over, h went for a long bike ride, I visited my mom, did some chores and H has been chilling on the couch most of the afternoon. When difficult child called, he didn't even answer the phone-not to punish as he didn't know it was her-but because he just didn't feel like getting up, which is not like him. When he heard it was difficult child, I would think he'd get up but he didn't. I haven't said a word to him about what was supposed to be, so he doesn't know. E even came to our friends house yesterday and offered to bring his boys over but it's so beautiful here today I told him to just enjoy the time with his boys and his dad swimming at his house. I guess I'm just sort of venting, but I'm bothered by difficult child's behavior lately and I know she's spiraling up right now, tis the season, so I can understand to a degree' but part of me just sees it as such self centered behavior I'm finding it difficult to not be annoyed with her. Am I over thinking it or is my thinking out of line?