Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I'm not really a parent... child in need of help? (ODD?+ADHD+?!?!?)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 412664" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>Welcome! You sound so much like my difficult child it is scary - if she was 17 I would ask if you are her! Well, she did not do well in school - but she is very smart just could not figure out how to get organized enough or focus enough. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway, first I think it is a huge sign of intelligence that you recognize your own self. Self realization is the first step to improvement. I assume you do not want to 'change' but to improve your techniques for dealing with people and not be so confrontational. </p><p> </p><p>My difficult child once said to me 'stop trying to change me!' and my eyes were opened to a new world of my difficult child. I never was trying to 'change her', but I was in her eyes. She felt I did not accept her for who she was. Pretty hard to do when there is constant bickering in the house. I just could not imagine that anyone would want to live that way. </p><p> </p><p>So, fast forward only 3 years - she is 19 now and moved out when I got married in Sept of last year. She refused to live with my husband. He is a great guy and loves her dearly. Has done more for her than her father has recently. But, the critical thing to point out here is that she is HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! I have never seen my daughter happier. She is so sweet to me now. She hugs me and texts me all the time. Makes comments on FB that she has the best mom. It is so wonderful to see & hear. You see, she just can not live with her parents. That simple. Whatever it is in her that is bothered (maybe your point about always being right and the whole 'winning' thing is what my daughter felt) by her parents - is no longer true if not under the same roof. </p><p> </p><p>You are a good kid. Stay that way. I am sure your parents are not trying to 'win' anything. I suspect if you speak to them as adults (with respect) and respond as an adult, your conversations will turn into something that is not a competition. Frankly, I think you should start by telling them that you feel like you have to win. Tell your dad that he gives a smirk that means 'I won' to you. But, do it in a calm moment.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 412664, member: 391"] Welcome! You sound so much like my difficult child it is scary - if she was 17 I would ask if you are her! Well, she did not do well in school - but she is very smart just could not figure out how to get organized enough or focus enough. Anyway, first I think it is a huge sign of intelligence that you recognize your own self. Self realization is the first step to improvement. I assume you do not want to 'change' but to improve your techniques for dealing with people and not be so confrontational. My difficult child once said to me 'stop trying to change me!' and my eyes were opened to a new world of my difficult child. I never was trying to 'change her', but I was in her eyes. She felt I did not accept her for who she was. Pretty hard to do when there is constant bickering in the house. I just could not imagine that anyone would want to live that way. So, fast forward only 3 years - she is 19 now and moved out when I got married in Sept of last year. She refused to live with my husband. He is a great guy and loves her dearly. Has done more for her than her father has recently. But, the critical thing to point out here is that she is HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! I have never seen my daughter happier. She is so sweet to me now. She hugs me and texts me all the time. Makes comments on FB that she has the best mom. It is so wonderful to see & hear. You see, she just can not live with her parents. That simple. Whatever it is in her that is bothered (maybe your point about always being right and the whole 'winning' thing is what my daughter felt) by her parents - is no longer true if not under the same roof. You are a good kid. Stay that way. I am sure your parents are not trying to 'win' anything. I suspect if you speak to them as adults (with respect) and respond as an adult, your conversations will turn into something that is not a competition. Frankly, I think you should start by telling them that you feel like you have to win. Tell your dad that he gives a smirk that means 'I won' to you. But, do it in a calm moment. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I'm not really a parent... child in need of help? (ODD?+ADHD+?!?!?)
Top