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I'm not really a parent... child in need of help? (ODD?+ADHD+?!?!?)
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 412742" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think printing out your post would be very helpful. Take it to your guidance counselor and ask him to read it while you are there. If talking with your parents is always about who "wins", try talking about this with the guidance counselor there to help mediate between you and your parents. I don't think your parents are out to win every conversation, but I do recognize that sometimes that element is there. My own father was much that way with my brother when he was a teen. In our situation it was more a matter of 2 people with similar problems not beinga ble to cope very well with each other.</p><p> </p><p>I do think the "I know better/am better than everyone else" is going to be a big problem in your life if you don't learn that being better and even being right or correct are just not that big a deal out in the real world. It will mean that you argue with employers, with coworkers, etc.... and it can keep you from promotions and sometimes from even being hired at all. You are going to have to figure out a way to say 'I amy be right but that doesn't matter now. This task has to be done even though it is completely stupid and the way they say it has to be done is even more completely stupid, but that is the way it has to be done so they can just pay me to be stupid right now." Or whatever is needed. I guarantee that your college profs are going to do a lot of things you think are stupid or even flat our wrong and they will not care one fart in a windstorm if you think they are wrong or stupid.</p><p> </p><p>The testing could be helpful if you can get your parents to consent to it. You may want to check out your state laws - in some states you need parental consent for medical and psychiatric care until age 18 but in others you can go and get care (esp psychiatric) with-o their consent before that. I do NOT recommend going against their consent as a first option. I would go and try to get them tounderstand and help you through this. But if they won't (and there truly are some people who will not agree to get this kind of help for their kids) you may have options. Otherwise, you will be 18 sooner than you know and it will then be up to you to get the help you need.</p><p> </p><p>Do you take any medications for the ADHD? Are they working? Are you willing to try different medications or any medications if you are not taking them now? The medications can make an enormous difference in your life if they work for you. My older bro is horribly adhd and after years of my mother suggesting medications he finally tried one. It was a miracle drug - a total change. He has addiction issues and chose to try strattera because it is not a stimulant and is not addicting. It has been over 5 years and it still works for him, thankfully.</p><p> </p><p>There are other things you can do. First is to put a LOT of effort into organization. Get timers and use them. Get a calendar and use it. Create a daily routine and stick to it very much. Put the various hygeine requirements on the schedule. It sounds like you have some sensory problems - certain sensations are unpleasant/drive you nuts/bug you or else you can't get enough/love them/seek them out. This is called sensory integration disorder and means your brain isn't handling input from your senses correctly. The book that explains this is The Out of Sync Child by Kranowitz. Pay attention to what sensory things bug you and while help you calm down. It can really help to handle your emotions if you get a handle on the sensory issues.</p><p> </p><p>I hope that some of these things are helpful to you. When you look at colleges, ask them what accommodations they offer? They will have a department that handles this and can give you valuable insight. If you REALLY want a kick in the pants and some forced organization, look at the military. If you haven't taken adhd medications they may not care about the adhd. My bro had not been diagnosis'd when he went in and WOW did they force some of the "this is stupid I don't have to follow the rules cause I am smarter and better" out of him. I cannot tell you how many times they took him down a rank for that type of thinking, but it DID get through and it DID show him how staying very organized can keep his adhd in check. Of course he also had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and is incredibly compulsive about cleaning, so . . . needless to say the army LOVED that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 412742, member: 1233"] I think printing out your post would be very helpful. Take it to your guidance counselor and ask him to read it while you are there. If talking with your parents is always about who "wins", try talking about this with the guidance counselor there to help mediate between you and your parents. I don't think your parents are out to win every conversation, but I do recognize that sometimes that element is there. My own father was much that way with my brother when he was a teen. In our situation it was more a matter of 2 people with similar problems not beinga ble to cope very well with each other. I do think the "I know better/am better than everyone else" is going to be a big problem in your life if you don't learn that being better and even being right or correct are just not that big a deal out in the real world. It will mean that you argue with employers, with coworkers, etc.... and it can keep you from promotions and sometimes from even being hired at all. You are going to have to figure out a way to say 'I amy be right but that doesn't matter now. This task has to be done even though it is completely stupid and the way they say it has to be done is even more completely stupid, but that is the way it has to be done so they can just pay me to be stupid right now." Or whatever is needed. I guarantee that your college profs are going to do a lot of things you think are stupid or even flat our wrong and they will not care one fart in a windstorm if you think they are wrong or stupid. The testing could be helpful if you can get your parents to consent to it. You may want to check out your state laws - in some states you need parental consent for medical and psychiatric care until age 18 but in others you can go and get care (esp psychiatric) with-o their consent before that. I do NOT recommend going against their consent as a first option. I would go and try to get them tounderstand and help you through this. But if they won't (and there truly are some people who will not agree to get this kind of help for their kids) you may have options. Otherwise, you will be 18 sooner than you know and it will then be up to you to get the help you need. Do you take any medications for the ADHD? Are they working? Are you willing to try different medications or any medications if you are not taking them now? The medications can make an enormous difference in your life if they work for you. My older bro is horribly adhd and after years of my mother suggesting medications he finally tried one. It was a miracle drug - a total change. He has addiction issues and chose to try strattera because it is not a stimulant and is not addicting. It has been over 5 years and it still works for him, thankfully. There are other things you can do. First is to put a LOT of effort into organization. Get timers and use them. Get a calendar and use it. Create a daily routine and stick to it very much. Put the various hygeine requirements on the schedule. It sounds like you have some sensory problems - certain sensations are unpleasant/drive you nuts/bug you or else you can't get enough/love them/seek them out. This is called sensory integration disorder and means your brain isn't handling input from your senses correctly. The book that explains this is The Out of Sync Child by Kranowitz. Pay attention to what sensory things bug you and while help you calm down. It can really help to handle your emotions if you get a handle on the sensory issues. I hope that some of these things are helpful to you. When you look at colleges, ask them what accommodations they offer? They will have a department that handles this and can give you valuable insight. If you REALLY want a kick in the pants and some forced organization, look at the military. If you haven't taken adhd medications they may not care about the adhd. My bro had not been diagnosis'd when he went in and WOW did they force some of the "this is stupid I don't have to follow the rules cause I am smarter and better" out of him. I cannot tell you how many times they took him down a rank for that type of thinking, but it DID get through and it DID show him how staying very organized can keep his adhd in check. Of course he also had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and is incredibly compulsive about cleaning, so . . . needless to say the army LOVED that. [/QUOTE]
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