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I'm not sure how I should feel...
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar II" data-source="post: 120491" data-attributes="member: 4391"><p>I loved what Star had to say.</p><p></p><p>We each are responsible for our actions. They cannot be prettied or made right by anyone else.</p><p></p><p>The rest of us can only make sense of the death of someone we should have loved, could have been closer to, if we can tell ourselves the truth about why we chose as we did when the person was alive. After a death, there is such a reluctance to speak honestly about the patterns of a person's life.</p><p></p><p>I wonder if hearing more about what addiction does to the personality of the person trapped in it might make the difference for some of our kids ~ not my son, he is too set in his ways already. But for our younger kids, whose paths are not yet set in stone?</p><p></p><p>Personality change is one aspect of addiction that we never hear enough about ~ but it is the natuire of personhood that changes first in any addiciton. </p><p></p><p>Then, the spirit seems to crumple and become forever malicious and only then does the physical body finally succumb.</p><p></p><p>It's such a horrible, devastating thing to watch.</p><p></p><p>When we first understood about our difficult child, we likened it to watching helplessly while he was targeted, attacked and devoured, piece by piece, by some mindless, reptillian something that would never let go. </p><p></p><p>It could be Trinity, that your son's pain over this favorite aunt's behavior and death will be responsible for helpiing him see his own path more clearly.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry for your loss Trinity, and for your pain. I know what it is to believe, to be so certain things will change that we disallow any other possibility.</p><p></p><p>Wishing courage and strength for you as you go through this time.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar II, post: 120491, member: 4391"] I loved what Star had to say. We each are responsible for our actions. They cannot be prettied or made right by anyone else. The rest of us can only make sense of the death of someone we should have loved, could have been closer to, if we can tell ourselves the truth about why we chose as we did when the person was alive. After a death, there is such a reluctance to speak honestly about the patterns of a person's life. I wonder if hearing more about what addiction does to the personality of the person trapped in it might make the difference for some of our kids ~ not my son, he is too set in his ways already. But for our younger kids, whose paths are not yet set in stone? Personality change is one aspect of addiction that we never hear enough about ~ but it is the natuire of personhood that changes first in any addiciton. Then, the spirit seems to crumple and become forever malicious and only then does the physical body finally succumb. It's such a horrible, devastating thing to watch. When we first understood about our difficult child, we likened it to watching helplessly while he was targeted, attacked and devoured, piece by piece, by some mindless, reptillian something that would never let go. It could be Trinity, that your son's pain over this favorite aunt's behavior and death will be responsible for helpiing him see his own path more clearly. I am sorry for your loss Trinity, and for your pain. I know what it is to believe, to be so certain things will change that we disallow any other possibility. Wishing courage and strength for you as you go through this time. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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