i'm officially a......

[Jena]

yup difficult child Mom! there i said it. totally hands down

i got up today was blow drying my hair and wow all of a sudden a major anxiety attack i haven't experienced in years reared it's ugly head totally out of the blue.

i was like you have got to be kidding me?! I've had the xanax doctor gave me a while back before I was to go to the first hospital i've only taken them at night because of my legs twitching all over the place and freezing feet and leg pain.

so yea i tried to bring myself down yet it didnt' work, so i grabbed a xanax i only took half of a 0.25 and meditated for fifteen minutes and I landed on planet earth once again.

sheesh i told myself it was normal the stress has been high. than husband is like i dont' think it is lol.

ok who asked him???? so yea i'm up now also it's 1 a.m. here i can't sleep. given up on difficult child sleeping as of late. i increased the seroquel i put her back on using as a prn right now yet it's a no go. so i can't fight her she's in den licking pretzels watching hannah montana husband is snoring so bad i wanna throw him out the window.

i personally think it's normal. not too thrilled though being i'm outta here ina few days and now mom's going off the deep end the one responsible adult on the trip.

just had to share........

 

[DammitJanet]

I will join you in being awake...lol. I have no idea why I am up till all hours of the night when I have enough medications in me to knock out a race horse. Think I am gonna have to see if they can increase my sleep medications I guess. Cutting my seroquel left me up all night. Of course, then I sleep half the day!

If xanax helps, try the xanax er. Its good and it isnt sedating. You take it one time a day and it just calms your nerves for the entire day. Or relieves anxiety I would say. Much better than taking something several times a day. I have been on it for at least the last 6 months I would say. Before that I was on klonopin for years and years. I wonder if the xanax er wouldnt help your difficult child? Wouldnt hurt to ask.

 

[pepperidge]

Two thoughts. One is that it would be good to have some medication in your back pocket for PRN purposes if necessary for getting difficult child to Oregon.

Second is that all these medications are probably wasted on our kids. Forget the kids, maybe we should focus on ourselves. Just kidding.

Third idea is that I think you need to let the docs in Oregon know how incredibly stressful this has been on you and that if you are to be there for your difficult child you need their help in making sure that you have some time or whatever it takes to get your own equilibrium back. They should be able to modify the program a bit to help you help your child better.

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

Jena,

Given what you've been through, are going through, etc., the "FUN" never seems to end - I think it's inevitable that somewhere along the way parents raising difficult children are going to be stressed to the breaking point. While I haven't experienced an anxiety attack, physically it seems like I'm falling apart no matter how hard I try to take care of myself.

Once you get difficult child to Oregon, you won't have to be on call 24/7. I agree with pepperidge that the docs should know that you need time to take care of yourself. You've been through HE77 and no one is superwoman!!!

Keeping you close in my thoughts... Hugs... SFR

 

[Jena]

i stayed up all night lol, fell asleep around 5ish, got up at 11. i'm def. taking the xanax with me, seroquel for her. oh yea we are prn'd up the butt to be honest. no doubt i'll have them in hand if i need them. i normally don't do that. last time i had that experience was when my last job got to be too much i worked in that in home crisis unit with kids like ours and difficult child was a handful and i woke up one day before going to work and a panic attack hit out of blue.

it was this one kid in the program who totally lost it, had just been released from pysch hospital and i was the first worker in the house. the level of responsiblity between difficult child and that threw me over the edge. i than quit my job. hadnt' had one sense. prior to that was years ago when difficult child first started getting all her diagnosis it was sooo overwhelming to hear Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), adhd, bipolar, anxiety disorder, blah blah blah my head was spinning.............

so yea i've lost my balance somewhere along the line. i knew it, and yea i do think it's normal i'm not a machine none of us are. granted had i locked myself up andmeditated for an hr i could of beat it alone yet who wants to do that at this point i got the xanax to help and i will take it.

janet i haven't needed to take it during day. i take half of that little one and i'm good. so i wont' switch to the other unless i'm out there and saying oh ok i need to take it more than once a day than i'll call my dr. here and have him call it in somewhere on that end.

it's just been way too much stress, easy child, difficult child, the marriage, my ex. maybe getting her help and me getting outta here for a bit will be the best thing for both of us actually.

 

[HaoZi]

Being as you will be the only responsible adult on the trip, I'm not surprised. I'd have been panicking since buying the tickets and repeatedly re-checking my packing lists to make sure I didn't forget to put something on the list and would have already packed as much as I could to be certain it wouldn't be forgotten, etc. I think once you actually get out there and get settled in a bit and you suddenly have a lot more adults sharing the responsibility for her immediate welfare you'll feel a lot better.

 

[Jena]

oh my your soo cute. lol. i haven't even packed yet. i dont' even have a suitcase, husband is getting one tonight on way home from my charming father in law. clothes are piled on the dresser to go into the suitcase. i just watched a movie with both kids who didnt' hit eachother and took a bubble bath. my stuff is really kicking up i hope it calms once i get there. legs are in pain, the visions' really off. hmmm gonna be a whole lotta fun

how's your little person? i havent' kept up with boards.

 

[HaoZi]

She's up and down, seems mostly related to her anxiety levels right now. She's been bent out of shape over having to get a blood draw for genetic testing. Got the EMLA cream for her today and did a test patch to make sure she can tolerate it. Seems to work well but wears off very fast on her, so hope it works properly when we got to do it Saturday. Later this month we have an appointment with a neuropsychologist (finally!). She keeps not bringing home her homework, but hey, it's her recess she's missing to complete it.

Glad yours had a decent time with you watching a movie and let you have a bubble bath! I hope your symptoms calm down as your stress drop (even better if they do it sooner).

 

[Jena]

that's great, feels like forever till that neuropysch appointment right?? something tells me when i leave here i'll calm