I'm on my way

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by witzend, Jul 8, 2013.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    to my first appointment with the new Psy. D. Wish me luck that I will take it all one step at a time, and that we will work together well?

    I'll let you know how it goes when I return.
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good for you! Good luck!
  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ditto what busywend said.

  4. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    All good thoughts go with you, Witz. However scary it seems? These are your first, small steps toward freedom.


  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Holding good thoughts that this is the beginning of your liberation and the reclaiming of your joy!
  6. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Keeping you in my thoughts Witz. Hoping the Psy.D is a good fit for you, and that everything goes well.
  7. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    Best wishes for a path of peace and happiness!
  8. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Good luck, Witz!

    Love, Esther
  9. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Hoping it goes well.
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I can't tell you how proud I am of you. You've carefully chosen a new course to travel. Your expectations are being kept in check. You believe you have a quality provider. You are projecting that it will take time...maybe lots of time to get on the right path. Your decision is one of the most thoroughly planned actions anyone has had. Lordy, I am rooting for you. DDD
  11. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Good luck!
  12. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Thinking of you! I hope it went well witz!
  13. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Well, it went well I think. Thank goodness she is not terribly busy, because it literally took me over two hours to tell the story of why I'm at where I'm at. She did stop me at the point where I was telling about L asking her Dr. C to be her MOTB, and said, "I'm confused. We're not talking about her stepmother?" Of course she asked if I had turned her in to the medical board, and I asked her, "Why bother? I'll never win that fight", and she seemed to agree.

    We agreed that I am rather permanently suspicious at this point, and that the not sleeping through the night has to do with a protection mode I've gotten myself into. I fall asleep, start to dream, and as I go into REM where I should be going through my sleep cycles I wake up in panic instead, as though there is something to protect myself from. She feels that if I can find a way to be less vigilant while I'm awake, that I'll be less vigilant while I'm asleep, and I should be able to begin to sleep through the night. I was honest with her about my medications and my falling asleep in front of old movies, and she wasn't all hot to trot to wean me off of sleep medications right off the bat, which I think is a good thing. It scares me, but I'll never get off sleep medications if I don't deal with the source of my sleep problems first.

    We are going to try CBT, and she was clear that if I decided that I didn't like her or felt uncomfortable that I should just tell her so, rather than quitting. We both know that It will be weekly sessions for several months, although she does understand that I will be visiting friends at home (no family - I've told no one) for a week in August. She thought that was ok, as well. My insurance will cover 26 visits this year less co-pay. That's something that we will budget for. She wasn't terribly descriptive about what we would do other than that I should find a way and a time to be calm. Meditation would be ideal, but somehow I'd have to find a way to learn to meditate while leaning back because of my MD. I can't hold myself upright so I have to lean one way or another. That could be a challenge. Who was it did the eye blinking thing? It's a thought...

    So, I'm emotionally drained. I don't usually tell that story, and no one where we are now knows it. husband and I joked last week that we should have told everyone that we were childless orphans when we moved here just to eliminate the question ever coming up. I was a little wary that I might be chastised for "running away", but that wasn't an issue. Mostly it was her listening to my story. I go back next week, and we'll work on it from there. I'm going to try to get into a hot bath tonight even though the weather here is about as steamy as it can be. I ache.

    Thanks all, for your good wishes and support. It means a great deal to me.
  14. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks for the update Witz, it does sound quite promising, it seems you have someone you can relate to who is a good listener whom you don't feel judged by, which is a healthy environment to heal in. I am excited for you, I am proud of you for your courage and commitment.......... and I am sending all my deepest wishes for peace for you..........and hugs too!
  15. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the update, Witz. It sounds good. It must have been really difficult for you to tell the story of your life from scratch. Good luck with the continuation.

    Hope you had a good "soak" and that it helped you unwind.

    Love, Esther
  16. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Glad to hear it went well, Witz. I'm sure it was very draining to talk about so many difficult situations and details, but hopefully it will be a start to inner peace and healing. Hugs to you. I know it had to be difficult to go.

  17. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you went there and told her your story, let the healing begin! That was a huge step, I'm proud of you.
  18. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    So glad to hear it went well for you :)

  19. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad it went well. Finding a good therapist that you click with is like finding a needle in a haystack, especially around here. I found one then lost her and havent been able to find another one for nothing.
  20. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Awesome update! Good for you!