I'm quitting my job.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Abbey, Sep 19, 2007.

  1. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    After 22 years of teaching I find the need to quit my job. :thumbsdown:

    One week ago I had a major panic attack at school. I had my assistant take my class and I paced the hall outside furiously. No student saw me...it lasted about 20 minutes.

    Later on that day I get a call to go see the headmaster. He put me on mandatory leave and required me to go get counseling. Yet again I set an appointment and went. It AGAIN was the lamest thing I've ever been to. He never asked me one question...just made me fill out about 20 sheets of nonsense papers. Then, he says I need to attend the Caring Dears group 4 times a week...3 hours each session.

    I don't know why I can't just have a normal therapist. This group is not even about what is going on with me. He said it's a 'nice mix' of people who have a variety of issues, none of which pertain to me.

    After long talks with my husband, I decided to just quit. I get no support from my school or the crappy insurance they provide.

    This will be the first time since I was 11 years old that I was unemployed. :sad:

  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh heavens Abbey...Im so sorry this is going on.

    Why cant you just pick your own therapist for gosh sakes? I group setting at first is simply not what one needs for panic attacks. Sheesh.

    Like a bunch of strangers are going to understand what you have been through...yeah right.

    (Not unless that bunch is us...lol)

    I hope you can gather yourself and find a good therapist, get these panic attacks under control and then decide if you want to go back into teaching. Im sure there is a wonderful school who needs you if you decide to go back.

  3. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    There is only one facility that our insurance contracts with and they do not do individual counseling. Crazy. This is a 6 month program.

    In addition, the facility is one hour from my house. So, four days a week I'd travel two hours...sit with a bunch of strangers for 3 hours...I'd never be home!

    The icing on the cake is that I have to pay my $20 copay EVERY session. Please...I'm a TEACHER. We're not rich.

    In the end there is a certain sense of relief in making this decision. Now I just have to figure out how to pay my bills. :smile:

  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending lots of hugs and prayers for guidance and peace. Maybe making this change will be the best thing ever. I'm sorry you have such a lack of support from your school. And the health benefits sounds horrible too. You know, it's likely that something wonderful will come out of this. Will you be able to quit as an early retirement or go on disability leave for a while before actually leaving?
  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Sending hugs and good thoughts your way. Hopefully, this will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. The insurance sounds truly horrible.

    By the way, both EMDR and CBT are supposed to be very effective for anxiety and panic attacks, when you're able to go that route again.
  6. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I'm so sorry!! You said you felt relief over making the decision. That is a good thing. I learned at an inservice at work one day that anxiety is caused by uncertainty and that the only way to get rid of it is to make a decision, then you don't have a reason to be anxious anymore. It went something like that. Can't remember exactly, but I hope that makes sense.

    That is rediculous that you can't go out and find a therapist that can actually help you. There are so many out there that aren't worth the office space they take up, so to be able to find a good one is priceless. I know I travel around an hour each way to see mine and if she were three hours away, I would figure out how to get there. I'm fortunate enough that my insurance covers it. I hope somehow you can figure out a way to afford someone that can really help you.
  7. envisablepuppet

    envisablepuppet New Member

    Hi Abbey,

    I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you. I'm surprised they haven't put you on anti-anxiety medications yet. You may have mentioned something about that in a post I may have missed.

    They say when one door closes another one opens. Maybe this will turn out to be a good thing for you. Have you thought about tutoring? There is an ex-friend I've mentioned in a past post that runs a small private vido school here. She does quite well financially. She doesnt even have to have teacher creds.

    There are a lot of parents out there looking for an alternative to the public school system and tutors are always needed. Just a thought. I hope you start feeling better soon. For now just try to enjoy being able to rest a bit and take care of your needs.

    How things go well for you

  8. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry this is happening but maybe it is a good thing. Teaching is a profession that is loaded with incredible stress from MANY directions. I know, I taught for 34 years. When I retired, it was like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders. I never realized what stress I was under until I didn't have it anymore. The fact that you had a panic attack at school may have been your brain's/body's way of telling you that you have had enough. You have education and experience. Perhaps you can find a different job that will allow you to use those positives in a somewhat different way.
    Good luck.
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am sorry, Abbey. I believe (if I remember correctly) you were not really thrilled with this school district anyway, maybe this is what you needed to get moving on to another one that will appreciate you.

    Big hugs - change is tough so go easy on yourself!
  10. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    It's a very small, elite private school. They DON'T like any turbulence. I LOVE teaching there simply for the kids, but it's been a bear for the past few years administration wise. We'd changed 3 times in the 6 years I've been there. You never know what to expect. But, I've watched them fire excellent teachers multiple times for silly things. It's all image. I imagine they're worried that their kids went home telling about the incident, even though they didn't see anything. My assistant is a retired teacher of 37 years. He's quite capable of taking over.

    I have been on an anti-anxiety medication. Obviously...it's not working. :wink:

    Things only got so much worse after my asauslt this fall. Circumstances don't really allow me to tell police...and just found out that I can actually talk to a therapist without them reporting it. I told our HR person about what went on. She seemed very concerned, yet I end up in this Walmart of counseling.

    I do have a support group that I attend once a week, but honestly, you leave there more depressed than when you came. The stories are horrid.

  11. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Abbey,

    I'm so sorry. Can't you get paid medical leave for a mental health issue like anxiety?

    Will this affect a pension? I know that private schools are different than public school systems when it comes to things like health benefits and retirement pensions.

    I tutor for extra money and it is very lucrative. Certified teachers where I live get anywhere from $40 an hour and up for a one to one session. I know one teacher that left teaching and started a tutoring service from her home. She has appointments lined up from 3 to 8 every day of the week (she tutors chemistry and physics). She does very well for herself.

    Private tutoring here pays much better than the chain tutoring places. I laughed when I checked with one well known chain and they said that they paid $15 an hour. I don't know how they can get any qualified tutors at that pay rate.

    If money is not an issue, then I would say just enjoy life and concentrate on getting better. Maybe you could return to teaching in another school eventually if you find that you miss it.

  12. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    That just plain :censored2:... I am sorry, but my gosh. Sending you big hugs... We are here for you!!!

    That school is losing someone wonderful!!! Their loss!!!
  13. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    I'm so sorry. Nothing like adding anxiety and stress to anxiety and stress. Geez....

    Gotta say though, that home tutoring sounds good!

    Hope it all works out for you so that you can have the best of both worlds.

  14. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Abbey: think hard...can you call it retirement and go out early or can you get disability (workers comp - stressful environment, etc.)? Check all of your options before you take a major step. I walked away and financially am in a major hole right now.

    Walk softly and carry a BIG stick!

  15. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I'm sorry and I hope this is a turn around point. you need a change all over I am sure. let's pray it is the beginning of the rest of your better life.
  16. I was wondering if you couldn't take FMLA leave. I'm pretty sure that is mandated for businesses that have a threshold number of employees. I believe you are allowed up to 6 weeks, and the employer can opt to provide more. It's just a thought...

    Having said that, I left an incredibly stressful job 6 years ago. It was the best choice that I ever made in my life. My problems were with my managers, and I had lost my ability to sleep through the night. I slept like a baby after I left! Problem solved. And the job that I have now? I love it, it's the job I've been seeking for many years!

    I know that you have incredible transferable job skills and that there are many other jobs that you could perform.
    Still, you might just want to take some time off and give yourself a little while to make this big decision. Sometimes time away can give a new perspective.

    I agree with you about group therapy, I just find it to be depressing. Could you just go off on your own and get your own therapist? I've done it, and it is worth every penny. A good therapist will set goals with you and work quickly toward them - they won't keep you coming to make the process more expensive - particularly if they know that you are "on your own dime".

    I'll be thinking of you and your new start. Good luck to you in your journey.
  17. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    I am on FMLA right now. Just got *the call* from the headmaster that I have 24 hours to either comply or he'd accept my resignation. Nuff' said...he'll get it tomorrow.

    I'd love to sleep through night. Been up since 2am. Maybe this will help.

  18. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    It takes very few on occasion to ruin our passions from a lifetime. Over the years I have read how you love to teach. I think you owe it to yourself to teach yourself this one thing "I am worth more than the stress of this job."

    You know you are. We have private schools here too. I know some of the teachers, I know more of the parents and children that attend those schools. I don't know why people assume because it's a private entity there won't be scandal, drugs, sex, violence, and ill children or parents. They just pay more for the chance to get their kids into a better college.

    Dysfunction knows no social level. The fact that you've had to sit idly by and observe without being able to voice your opinion would put you in a stress category that is just begging for a stroke or heart attack. You're a good person, you do the right thing. When you're prevented from doing that it has to back up somewhere. Enter - your nerves.

    The headmaster is a putz. And remember - someday he'll be gone from the administration job of overseeing children and looking the other way for the "grade". He is who he is and - well dangit I'm glad to say you are like you are - our friend.

    Sorry mostly that the school wasn't able to get over it's GRAND case of cranialrectalitis and see what a wonderful person they had. (HAD being the operative word)

    Party on girl...and FYI....maybe you want to contact a lawyer instead of resigning. Once YOU quit....there is no recourse.

    Whatever you decide you know we're behind you! Even if some of us dangle our participles and don't know how to use ...

    Hugs & Support tempered with love
  19. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    This doesn't pass the smell test. I'm trying to remember all of my FMLA training, but they can't arbitrarily put you on mandatory leave and then call it FMLA. FMLA is medical leave and your employer is not in the position to decide if there is a medical reason for your leave. Anxiety attack or not, they are not qualified to make that determination. That is for a doctor to say. If you are on FMLA, the school doesn't tell you what you have to comply with in regards to treatment, other than providing the appropriate forms signed by a doctor. The employer can't mandate what treatment you receive on FMLA; that's between you and your doctor.

    It may be that the stress of dealing with this just isn't worth it. However, it might be wise to contact an attorney before doing anything just to be on the safe side.
  20. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> maybe you want to contact a lawyer instead of resigning. </div></div>

    I was thinking the same thing.

    Tell the headmaster that you'll comply and use these weeks of leave in your nondriving/therapy hours either talking to a lawyer or job hunting. Then tell the headmaster to stuff it.

    I could scream for you, Abbey. I'm so sorry.