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<blockquote data-quote="crazymama30" data-source="post: 335740" data-attributes="member: 3184"><p>My husband and I have at times had a very turbulent relationship. Many times were very hard, and I try not to dwell there.</p><p> </p><p>That being said, I am happier in our relationship now than I have ever been before. With all the recent trials and tribulations we have had with his mental and physical health I have a better understanding and acceptance of what and who he is. I am becoming better at discerning when the BiPolar (BP) or the pain is talking and when he is. He is so vulnerable, more so than I ever knew and more than he will ever admit.</p><p> </p><p>For some reason his psychiatric hospital, for me, strengthened our relationship. The fact that he went and stayed, and did so for his family, means more than to me than he will ever know. Awhile back we were talking about his medications and all the nasty side effects he has had from them. I told him I did not know how he could keep trying them, I did not nor do I right now know if I could keep on trying. How did he do it? He said he did it for the kids and I. When the medications were/are good things are so much better for us. I was left speechless. I still almost tear up thinking about that.</p><p> </p><p>There are sometimes he tries my patience beyond what I think I can take. Times when I am so scared I am going to lose him, scared that he will not be able to take the pain anymore, or that the mental anguish will win out. Sometimes I have to refocus my thoughts as they are just too painful, I just cannot think about the what if's.</p><p> </p><p>As much as he drives me crazy and irritates me to no end, I love him. I love the way he cuddles with his kitties and begs me to get him a glass of water so he does not disturb them. How he goes to the gym and takes difficult child with him, sometimes he does not even do anything himself. How he is willing to go to the humane society and volunteer so easy child can. How he spurs me on when I want to quit. I smile when I think of how he sings in the shower, complete nonsense songs that god only knows how he makes up. His little mannerisms when someone says something that gets to him, he squeezes up his face and wrings his hands. How he cares so much for his friends, and tries to get them to stay on the right track when the stray.</p><p> </p><p>Linda, I cannot even imagine how much you must miss your husband. Remeber the good times, I imagine there were plenty.</p><p> </p><p>Gentle hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="crazymama30, post: 335740, member: 3184"] My husband and I have at times had a very turbulent relationship. Many times were very hard, and I try not to dwell there. That being said, I am happier in our relationship now than I have ever been before. With all the recent trials and tribulations we have had with his mental and physical health I have a better understanding and acceptance of what and who he is. I am becoming better at discerning when the BiPolar (BP) or the pain is talking and when he is. He is so vulnerable, more so than I ever knew and more than he will ever admit. For some reason his psychiatric hospital, for me, strengthened our relationship. The fact that he went and stayed, and did so for his family, means more than to me than he will ever know. Awhile back we were talking about his medications and all the nasty side effects he has had from them. I told him I did not know how he could keep trying them, I did not nor do I right now know if I could keep on trying. How did he do it? He said he did it for the kids and I. When the medications were/are good things are so much better for us. I was left speechless. I still almost tear up thinking about that. There are sometimes he tries my patience beyond what I think I can take. Times when I am so scared I am going to lose him, scared that he will not be able to take the pain anymore, or that the mental anguish will win out. Sometimes I have to refocus my thoughts as they are just too painful, I just cannot think about the what if's. As much as he drives me crazy and irritates me to no end, I love him. I love the way he cuddles with his kitties and begs me to get him a glass of water so he does not disturb them. How he goes to the gym and takes difficult child with him, sometimes he does not even do anything himself. How he is willing to go to the humane society and volunteer so easy child can. How he spurs me on when I want to quit. I smile when I think of how he sings in the shower, complete nonsense songs that god only knows how he makes up. His little mannerisms when someone says something that gets to him, he squeezes up his face and wrings his hands. How he cares so much for his friends, and tries to get them to stay on the right track when the stray. Linda, I cannot even imagine how much you must miss your husband. Remeber the good times, I imagine there were plenty. Gentle hugs [/QUOTE]
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