I'm running away. I'm not sure that I'm kidding either.

[flutterby]

I just got home from the hospital. Cardiac cath because I've been having angina daily for a week and a half. Heart is fine - which is a good thing. I need to have a full GI workup, even though I have been on medications for GERD for a couple years now. However, the nurses and doctor think that more than likely it's stress causing spasms (coronary artery spasms or something...I don't remember exactly).

Great.

I get home, I'm tired from the Versed, my leg is sore from the cath, I have 2 very large bruises on my abdomen from the blood thinner since I don't do well with Heparin. You get the idea.

Anyway, I get home and difficult child meets me at the door with major attitude. I had asked easy child to do 2 very simple things for me last night that he didn't do. And then difficult child tells me that Isa - my one year old tortie (cat) - is gone. Somehow she got out. Probably because nobody can bother to pay attention. She's never been outside and we've had heavy rain and severe thunderstorms all yesterday and today.

I can't stand it. I really can't. And if we don't find Isa, I'm going to be heartbroken. I need ink for the printer and then I'm going to print out some flyers and put them up.

Please keep good thoughts for my little girl kitty. She is such a sweetheart and I really love her. There is a black and white cat in my neighborhood who picks fights - he's the one Hydro always ends up fighting with - and he's at least twice Isa's size. She's such a petite thing. She sleeps under the covers with me. When she gets too hot, she crawls out and sleeps in the crook of my knees. She's my baby girl. Her sister, Chloe, will miss her so much. They are very close.

 

[crazymama30]

Heather, I am glad your heart is fine, but sorry they cannot fix things. Hugs.

I really hope you find your kitty. Hopefully she did not go far. Make sure to check the animal shelters and animal rescue places.

 

[Jody]

Oh Heather,

I am so sorry. I hope that you find her tonight!!!! I hope things get better soon.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Hope your little Isa finds her way back home.

Sharon

 

[everywoman]

Heather, I'm hoping by the time you read this your baby is back home. As far as running away---I'll have some extra room soon---so come one down!

 

[TerryJ2]

Isa will come back; she's probably very close to home, hiding under a porch or behind a trash can to stay out of the weather.
I am so sorry she got out. I know the feeling!
I am also very glad that your heart is in good shape (literally, if not figuratively) but sorry you had such a rough day. I hope you have a nice dr who has a good plan of action for you.
Let us know about Isa!!!!

 

[flutterby]

Isa is home. easy child and DF went to the store to get the things I needed to print and put up flyers. When they got home, they heard her and easy child found her under my car. She was scared and they had to coax her in, but she's happy to be home. I am, too.

I kept going out and calling her. easy child took me around the neighborhood in his car since I'm not supposed to walk far and I called her and looked for her. I was feeling pretty desolate at that point. I was really afraid we weren't going to find her - that she had gotten lost. Or worse.

I hit my limit a long time ago and things still keep coming. I don't know what I'm going to do if something doesn't give. Soon. Thankfully, I have a therapist appointment in the morning. I'm not supposed to drive, but it's less than a mile.

 

[susiestar]

I am so sorry. Sending prayers that Isa is home safe and sound by morning.

 

[flutterby]

EW, I might just take you up on that offer.

As soon as school is out, difficult child is going to go spend some time with difficult child 2's mom (difficult child 2 is no longer living there - and that is a whole other story). I. Cannot. Wait.

 

[crazymama30]

I am so glad Isa came back. That is great. I hope you are able to get some "me" time while difficult child is gone, the peace and quiet will be nice, no one complaining or making big deals out of everything.

 

[KTMom91]

Glad your kitty came home. Sending many hugs and some strength to get through till school's out. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Hound dog]

Hopefully the cath will relieve some of the spasms. And yeah, if you get enough unrelenting stress that can happen especially with a cardiac history.

Soooo glad you got your kitty back. husband doesn't pay attention and has let Bruce out several times. I've been tempted to beat husband over it. But Bruce has a long memory over being a stray and he won't go out of the yard and always comes if I call him. Only it has to be me calling. He won't come to anyone else including Nichole. So when husband lets him out during the day he can't get him back inside. And we have some pretty big toms in the neighborhood who like to pick fights. Bruce is NOT a fighter.

Sounds like easy child needs a hefty dose of real life in the grown up world. Any way you can manage to phase them into a place of their own??

((hugs))

 

[timer lady]

Heather, sweetie, you've a couple of selfish children on your hands at the moment. I, for one, would dearly like to smack each of the up the side of their heads.

I'd like to remind you of the many times you didn't think you could continue to go on.....yet you have an admirable spirit & a kind heart. You always find some way to take the first step the next morning. in my humble opinion, it's now time to take care of you. If you cannot count on your children then you must set up a new contingency plan.. Who will you call for a ride to the hospital or a dr.'s appointment?

If you're in a county like many, there's a bus for disabled individuals when you just cannot drive. I'd keep a taxi fare stash (take it from difficult child's milk fund) hidden away for emergency situations.

Enough is enough - be gentle with yourself.

 

[trinityroyal]

Heather, I'm so glad you were able to find Isa.

I think Linda's advice is good. You need to look after yourself first, and let your children sort out their own selves for a while. You need all of your strength for you at the moment.
Sending strength, and many gentle hugs.

 

[DammitJanet]

Sorry for this turn of events. Linda is very wise. I agree with her on the taxi money. I would think your area would have that disabled van considering even we have one.

On another note, call me or pm me your number again. My phone died and when I got a new one I lost ALL my contacts. PITA!

 

[Shari]

Hugs, Heather. I hope things turn around for you.

 

[flutterby]

therapist was upset that I drove to the appointment. She said she would make a house call for me. That made me feel good.

therapist spoke to our caseworker for Family in Need of Services and it was a real eye opener for our caseworker. She told therapist that I've minimized difficult child's issues. I explained to therapist that every time we meet with caseworker difficult child is right there and I have to weigh my words. therapist understood. I've been trying to speak with caseworker away from difficult child, but she's always in the field and hard to get ahold of. Caseworker left me a message yesterday that she wants to catch up with me and she's coming out today. difficult child is here so it will be interesting to see how that goes.

I went into the hospital Tuesday and that's when Isa got out. So, she was out Tuesday night and all day Wednesday in severe weather. She was so scared. I am so happy she is home.

We do have a bus for disabled - actually anyone can use it, you just have to call ahead because there aren't bus stops, per se - but they don't go out of the county. Only one of my doctors is in my county. But, it is an option and I will use it if I need to. Thanks for reminding me.

Thank you for the support ladies. School is out June 9th and then difficult child is going to difficult child 2's mom's for a while. It can't come fast enough.

 

[susiestar]

Sending LOTS of hugs. Is there any way the caseworker and/or therapist can do an intervention on easy child and girlfriend to knock them out of their bossy selfishness? With you backing them up? It is HARD to stand up for yourself when they are so demanding and you are so sick. They must realize SOON that they are being selfish jerks who should worship you instead of giving you attitude. I din't know how or if it is possible for difficult child to change, unless you force the medication issues she balks at. That is probably more than you can handle.

It really IS ok to take a day to curl up in bed and if anyone bothers you just stick your fingers in your ears (or use earplugs) and yell "La la la I caaaaaan't HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR YOU!".

NOT joking. I once did that to Wiz for an entire day when he was about 13. I was really sick physically and emotionally and just could NOT take anything else. My mother and bro had declared war on me (old issue) and Wiz was nearing his worst. He was home again because he kept puking at school from severe anxiety and he was being a little sh** with yelling at me and calling me names. The other two were in school so for the school day I did NOTHING but refuse to hear him.

It was childish in some ways. It was also exactly 100% what he had been doing to me anytime I spoke to him or even NEAR him to someone else.

It may alarm them. GOOD. They SHOULD worry about what you will do next. That insecurity will encourage them to treat you well so you don't erupt again. EXACTLY what they do to you!

Many gentle hugs to you and some treaties and a snuggle and a nice ear and head scratch for Isa. Isa ish a good girl, yesh she is, she is such a sweetie, such Mommie's sweetie girl!