Good for you, you've taken the first important step. Your attorney can advise you about the living arrangements. Seems odd that your husband wants a divorce, wants you to work, wants to stay in the same house. Nice for him to have it all his way, however, realistically, it may not work out quite that way in the long run. If you retain the attorney, he/she will give you options for you to consider as you walk through this. And, remember, if you don't like the attorney, or don't feel good or right about him/her, find another one. You have to feel comfortable with whomever you choose, this person may be the one negotiating for you and the kids, so you have to be on the same page and believe in him/her.
Is it possible for you to see a counselor to help you? I'm sure you have so many conflicting and deep emotions which must be difficult as you attempt to be a Mom and live with this man who doesn't want to be married anymore. Sigh. I am so sorry. If you have family and good friends, now would be the time to pull them close and allow them to nurture you and offer you a shoulder to cry on. When my husband left me, when my granddaughter was with her sister, I would take the weekend and go stay with a friend. Often I just sat on the deck and cried, but it was a safe place to just let go. I look back now and realize it was so important to have that respite from the turmoil my life was in. Can your family help with the kids and give you breaks to just go off and fall apart with a friend or alone or just to give you some space? It's important that you remember to take care of YOU, you're the one who was blindsided here..............you need support and love and care...............please remember to take care of you.........and also remember that now you and your husband are in adversarial roles, no longer a united front, that's an important issue since he may not be looking out for your best interests now.
I'm glad you're seeing an attorney. A friend who recently got a divorce told me that the Petitioner, the one who initiates the divorce, seems to have more power in that they are the one serving the other. You may decide to be the Petitioner in which case you will feel like you have more control in your life, it must feel pretty out of control now..............but the state you're presently in is temporary as you adjust to your new reality. The shock and disbelief and hurt will subside and clarity and strength will return. All of your feelings of not knowing how you will get through this are normal, it's frightening because you don't know what the future holds and of course, you're hurt as well, and grieving.........and soon, likely angry too
.............it's a lot..........take very good care of yourself......................(((HUGS)))) We're all thinking about you and sending you lots of caring wishes that your path gets easier and you find some peace in all the chaos.........
