I'm so OVER women's fashion/sizing! ARGH!

[Mattsmom277]

Once again I took easy child shopping and had such a struggle. She is now 12, she's changing from a girls body to a young woman's. She has hips, booty, she's chubby. She is not obese but she is chubby and carries weight in her belly and hips. It is a nightmare to shop for her, and even harder to make it a fun thing without it turning into a experience of frustration for her. Like many moms of young girls, I'm trying to ensure she doesn't start sending herself negative self messages and it's hard when you go to a mall and there's so few stores at her age she can shop at.

She takes women's sizes and I'm STUNNED that she is about 140lbs and 5'4" and extra large women's shirts in most stores do NOT fit her. Well they fit, but TIGHT and not flattering. All of the trendy stores have nothing in stock but those super skinny tops that are really long. Not going to fit her and if they do, they do not fit her shape and are not meant to fit her shape. Jeans and pants are no problem, we can go anywhere, even the trendy shops are no problem for her bottoms. But tops? Forget it. A nightmare!!!!

Thank goodness she travels each August out of town to some great name brand outlet stores down south with her dad to school clothes shop. She gets great Tommy Hilfiger etc things and for good prices and is happy. But she needed some more things.

We did her shoes first and given how into sports she is, shoes don't come cheap. $200 later she had 2 new pairs of shoes (and they were on sale!). Then shopping for tops. ARGH! We hit so many stores and walked in and out within minutes, realizing their whole inventory of tops consisted of the crazy skinny shirts. Honestly, any grown woman at her size of 5'4 and 140lbs should be able to wear anything in any womens clothing store. At least FIT them even if we didn't like the styles.

We ended up in a much older womans store to just find basic tshirts! She hated going in there, but they have TRUE women's size clothing, and I reminded her it was just for basic solid color tshirts so not to worry about what brand they were. She fit a medium there, they fit loose.

Then we found ONE store selling stylish hoodies she can fit, $100 later at Roots for one sweater. I couldnt' say no to her because I KNEW she wasn't going to have luck to buy several items so we settled on the one sweater. While there we also found her a Roots tshirt.

Thank goodness for that trip with her father. Otherwise she'd be wearing nothing but solid basic tshirts only.

I am so sick of this. Sick of a society that has a mall with 100 stores where a 140lb person cannot find clothing but for 2-3 stores. I'm going to have to start shopping online for her maybe. I don't know. I wish we had more options but we're 4 hours drive from a major city (Toronto) where her options are far and wide. We're trapped in hobunkville with horrid shopping. Meanwhile I tried the whole "less is more" spiel today. As in yes you only got the one sweater, but its pricey and high quality so we'll start slow to build a wardrobe with high quality things piece by piece instead of a shopping spree. I think she bought it, but really I just didn't want her going into a single further store where not one top would even be large enough to try on. What on earth would she do if her chest was developed fully? I mean these tops don't just not fit her waist (where she carries most of her weight) but they cling to her chest and she doesn't have much to speak of there yet. So even if she was super slim, these clothes wouldn't fit her past a larger B bra cup size. Maddening!

 

[KTMom91]

I hear you. This has been a major issue with me for years.

 

[Star*]

All I can say is I SOOOOOOOOOOO GET where you are coming from. When I was 300 lbs? The ONLY thing that was out in the fashion world that was near affordable were things that had SAILOR motif and flowers. I swear to GAWD....to this day since loosing weight? I can't even look at a flowered shirt. And embroidered and emblaizoned with 1000 sequins????? WTH....I mean okay lets think about this LOGICALLY for a moment. I'm 5'8", I'm 300 lbs. I have a very large top set. And you want to add 10lbs of crystals and bobbles? GOSH thanks......first of all I don't like the little razor sharp feet that come through the shirts.....and secondly? WHY would anyone that big on top need BLING to attract attention to her top set? For pity sake.....Make my shoes sparkly or somedamthing. Keep it off my hips, my chest and -----just dress me like everyone else.

Since loosing? I've stuck to solid tee shirts......shorts.....and while I have gotten a few of those slinky dresses.....? Unless you work out until you are dead....there is still a fat roll somewhere and if I push it in a Kimora body shaper HERE......it just pops out THERE.......or THERE...or OMG ((((looks in the mirror))))) ARE YOU SERIOUS????

I keep thinking - roll me up tight in shrink wrap and THEN slip a dress on me.....and give me something to hike up the dropped load........You remember those cartoons with the granny whose boobs are in her lap? NOT so funny NOW. Not at all.

And being a sock snob? Witha puppy that thinks it should eat ONE sock......?

Mercy - now I need a refill on Welbutrin......and Captain MOrgan.

I despise shopping.

 

[Andy]

I had the same problem with Diva. I would get sooooo frustrated - she did not want to dress like an adult and who could blame her but the only clothes her size were adult sizes.

We finally found two stores "Deb" and "Gordmans" that was the answer to our prayers. Gordmans is about one hour away and Deb was at the Mall of America which we went to like less than once a year but did go yearly when she needed school prom like dresses. The 1st year she needed a formal dress she found her dream dress in her size at Deb. She purchased her dream dress and another formal dress both for under $100 total!!! I am finding them in more malls around our state.

I would think you can look them up on line.

 

[Star*]

Not sure if these are in your area......but they have clothes for larger women and some may be appropriate stylings for your daughter

Fashion Barn, Lane Bryant..........Citi Trends....(this is more Urban hipwazee style but I love their window displays always so colorful) Dude loves their clothes and they have things for girls too.

Also just a thought because my friends is a tailor.........You can always buy larger, and have her things altered.......Well fitting clothes help self-image,and confidence. Would be worth it to find a tailor suited for young ladies and see if she has any ideas, but working in GW? I see stuff day in and out that has been altered so kids could have fashionable styles.

Some of the stuff at Wet Seal is okay- but apparently they don't carry much in the way of larger kids.........neither does AF (THEY ARE THE WORST) some stuff at American Eagle is larger, but then again.......tailoring.

 

[Mattsmom277]

We don't have any of the stores listed in the thread . I must admit I hadn't thought of buying larger and tailoring to her fit!!! That's brilliant as we do have a few stores with plus sizes that are making cute looking clothes but the smallest size there is too large for easy child. But that might help us get tops with good bones that can be brought in!! I'll have to look into the costs, but it won't be hard to look around since I've already decided to have her dress made instead of buying of the rack, for my wedding. So I'll pick a tailors brain and maybe get them to do one or two shirts and see how she feels about it. At this stage if her dad keeps going down south to pick some things for her, I can afford to custom do some of her tops.

Sadly we do have American Eagle and previously she would shop for tops there. Now though the styles seem like all the other young hip stores, made tall/skinny.

 

[Hound dog]

Trying to think of the name of the store........Bill Bass? Does that sound right? Something like that anyway. I LOVE to shop there. And unlike you tall ladies, I'm short and roundish......the two do not mix well. If you find something to fit the roundish part, and hopefully it doesn't have a crotch that goes clear to your armpits (I love lowrise for this reason, called them hip huggers back in the day)....you've got a good 8 inches to cut off the bottom unless you strike gold and they have petites. But short as I am? Even most petites are too tall. Go figure. But I can find pants / jeans in the Bass store pretty much ok.......and it's fabulous when I can hit them on clearance at the outlet store. omg I have to keep control, I swear. Same with their tops. Good quality clothing too.

Tops.....well I'm ok in the chest dept.......it's finding long sleeve shirts that don't make me look like Dopey with the sleeves hanging about 4 inches off my hands......I've not run into the skinny tops yet....or I don't think I have.

I like Lane Bryant too but the girls won't let me go inside......they tell me it's an "old lady" store. lmao

 

[InsaneCdn]

OK, time for CANADA Moms to show up with ideas... Because we do NOT have most of the US stores... but we do have our own.

Here's my 2 cents... (Canadian cents, that is... you can translate that into US cents if you want...)

Rule #1 - if you need stuff that isn't so common... 2nd hand stores are the best - hands down. I'm not talking USED stuff here - I'm talking... the best deals on unusually-sized NEW stuff. DS has size 12+ feet... know what those shoes cost?? (if you don't know, don't ask). But... people needing size 12+ are rare... so, when the shoe stores do "inventory turn-over", the un-sold (usually non-typical sizes) shoes get given to some charity-based thrift store... We've found... NEW... Dockers pants($10), mens suits ($25), ladies lingerie, dress shirts($5-7), every type sort style and description of ladies tops you can imagine... daughter is the opposite of yours... extremely slender - "girls" sizing is too short at the waist and "ladies" sizing is to broad on the shoulders... but its amazing how many tops we find at the thrift stores. (For the record, she's 12 and takes a ladies size 2 petite... and we find it THERE).

Rule #2 - you've got to get creative. Like... what other stores (think non-clothing stores) would carry appropriate stuff. We're NOT big out-doors people, don't do back-country stuff really, but often find "just the right thing" at Mountain Equipment Co-op (yes they have a website; yes they do mail-order... so you non-Canadians can shop there too... but there's a raft of stuff they sell that is flagged "ships in Canada only", so... I warned you... you don't get to buy "everything"!). Working-wear stores. Other outdoor stores. Travel stores (Tilley has some unusual stuff, or at least used to)

 

[DammitJanet]

I was going to suggest our sears stores because they sell what is known as Husky sizes even for girls...or maybe they call it something else in girls sizes in the girls but it is a husky size never the less. however they look like the same type outfits but just a bit larger to accommodate the larger girl. If you know her chest size, waist size and inseam, you are good to go. Walmart, Kmart, JC Penny's, even Ebay to look for things because they will all ship to Canada. Look online for "teen girls clothes in size X" and stores should pop up. Oh...Old Navy is another good one.

 

[susiestar]

e have had similar issues with Jess. One of the things is to avoid the Juniors and Misses sections. Yes, the trendy stuff is there, but for the most part Jess didn't want that stuff. Of course wehn seh had that problem the worse was when the tshirts were super tight cut and she hated them. She preferred the xlg beefy tees we bought at the thrift shop.

I would suggest checking some online sites and ebay. Duck Head jeans were perfect for Jess in their petite sizes - theyw ere NOT the trendy super skinny jr sizes but with the petite sizes they fit real people IF you could find them. I got great deals online. Take her to dept stores and let her try on a few brands. If Tommy HIlfiger is what fits her body well, hit ebay for it. Some of what you will come across will be fakes, but most, esp gotten in lots, will not be.

Once she has the basics, the bare bones, get out ALL your accessories and hers - belts, scarves, jewelry, etc... and show her how to mix and match to make a ton of great outfits for a small amt of $$ by using accessories. Also show her how to add trim to basic items if that is in fashion. You can buy beaded patches to sew on, use fabric paint, sew on beads and buttons, attach ribbons, etc... and make a $2 pr of used jeans from ebay look like $200 jeans custom made for HER. The first tries won't be sewn so well, but in time they will be awesome.

Then, when she is involved in teams or groups, have her take a shirt and get the participants to sign it. Use sharpies for the signatures. They will last as it, esp if you iron the writing before you wash it, or you can stitch over the signature to make it truly permanent. If a shirt or pair of pants gets a stain, it isn't dead. Have you ever tried bleach dying? you take an item of dark or bright colored clothing and use bleach to remove the color in specific areas. You can do it like tye dye wehre you tie the shirt into knots and dip it into the dye or you can use bleach and a pen or q-tip or even a rubber stamp to make designs. Just be SURE to test the color first to see if it will be awful after it is bleached. Also use a solution of 1/4 to 1/2 bleach and the rest water. For SOME fabrics you can even use hydrogren peroxide but you have to test them to see if they will fade the way you want.

After an item is bleached out as desired, rinse in cold water and then wash in cold water. I rinse in the sink or outside in the hose to get the bleach to stop working right away - if it is on too long it can eat holes in the fabric - and then toss in the washer.

She can also play with vegetable dyes and other dyes if she wants. I don't know much about screen printing but I used to paint various pokemon and other characters onto jackets and things for Wiz and some friends' kids. If she (or you) want to play with this, start first with those little bottles of acrylic paint for about $1 or $1.50 (here in the US) in the craft stores. You can get a lot of color for not a lot of money. Store them upside down in teh containers in a lastic shoebox and they last a long time. WHen you want to use acrylic paint on fabric you can use it straight, as-is in the bottle. It won't wash out. But it also won't last very long or hold up very well. Spend the extra buck or three and get a bottle of textile medium. For each color you want to paint onto the fabric, mix an equal amt of textile medium (it is a whitish liquid that won't change the color of your paint) and the paint color. I put them on a paper plate and only mix a small amt at a time.

I hope that you and easy child can find some comfortable clothing that she feels good in at a decent price. Work with her on accessories and how it can make an outfit totally different with a small, small change. If she is ready for that type of thing, check out the teen vogue and other teen fashion mags on the web. I had Seventeen at her age and thought it was awesome. Jess says it is still "fun". If/when you ever want to subscribe to a magazine like that - you can search around online and get them for around $5.

If she is more into the girly parts of being a girl, introduce her to eyeslipsface.com . It is awesome makeup, at amazing prices and I have yet to be unhappy with anything - and I rave over a few thigns. A bit of lip gloss o

 

[Shari]

Cgfg has the same issue, but she doesn't care if it fits or not, or if it looks good on her or not. She's 5'6 or so, 180 pounds, most in her belly, and she crams into those super-skinny tops.

I'd be fighting her mother, tho, to change it, so luckily its a battle I don't wage. But I feel for you. There's not much else out there.

 

[AnnieO]

I still have this problem... 5'3, 160 lbs (on a bad day), no hips.

I can jam myself into LARGE juniors' jeans - women's jeans don't work due to the waist thing. Waist is a size 14-16, rear and thighs are a 4-6. Grr.

Tops? HAHAHAHA! I wear a lot of mediums - but they're basic tees. My nice stuff? Usually XL. I'm not big-chested, but the other stuff strains.

O crams herself into XS and S. She's bigger than I, both chest wise and otherwise. Looks trashy, but what do I know...

 

[slsh]

I thought I was the only one dealing with- this!!! Diva is 5'7-1/2", about 165, pretty solidly built but she's also extremely well endowed. She's 13 and wants to wear teen clothes. Not a chance in Hades. She had to get a dress for a wedding this summer. My solution? I shipped her off to my mother for the weekend so they could have some "bonding time" while they searched for a dress. Mom called shortly after they started the shopping fun, *finally* with some empathy. All the teen stuff was spaghetti straps, which just doesn't fly with- Diva's build. All the adult stuff was matronly. Throw in the joy of trying to find women's size 12 (yep, I said *12*) shoes.... ugh.

Size 8 jeans fit her okay. Shirts are a nightmare. Dresses are impossible, because what fits her waist doesn't fit her top, and by the time we find something that fits her top, the rest of her is just swimming. Anything other than athletic shoes are near-impossible - and that's only because we buy her men's athletic shoes. I just about ripped her softball coach's lungs out last week - they have racerback uniforms, and he suddenly decided that bra straps couldn't show, and they couldn't wear t-shirts under the uniform. Are you *kidding* me???? Only to save Diva some dignity did I keep my mouth shut. Suffice it to say that finding a racerback undergarment that offers anything close to support and is in a double letter size is an exercise in futility.

I will say, Diva is extremely modest and always wears a tank or t-shirt so straps don't show. I know it could be a lot worse if she decided to go for some of these clothes that are allegedly for "teens".

I've never liked clothes shopping - but I sure do miss the days when it was one-size-fits-all with- her. We have to try everything on now and I have to be so careful not to lose my patience, because it really is a nightmare trying to find her "cool" clothing that fits. Of course, I'm the bad mom because I generally try to steer her clear of the teen sections - nothing will fit and she'll just get mad at me (yes, because I determine the sizes and styles of clothing that Sears and Penney stock).

One more year and then she will be in a private HS with uniforms. Thank *goodness*!!!!!

 

[Mattsmom277]

it is correct that american and canadian shopping is so vastly different. I was wearing a size 10-12 at 130lbs. I've gained weight now and generally have to take a smaller sized size 14, I'm now 147lbs. So this means plus sized clothing stores as most of our regular stores don't sell 14. We have had some luck with easy child at some of the outdoor outfitters. I should hit some of the ones that are Canadian but don't have local to us. We have found some basic simple nice things at Mark's Work Warehouse of all places. I didn't think of Tilly clothing but easy child might like some of those too now that its been mentioned. We don't have a Tilly shop in town but we have a mountaineering shop, very tiny and exclusive (read PRICEY) but if there are things that fit her that she likes, basic pants, jeans, sweaters, I'd be able to keep going back to watch for clearance sales etc. Think I'll head there today actually!

We also have the problem with dresses, mind you my easy child is 'just' starting to get over her 6-7 year tom boy streak. She played hockey from age 4 and was anti-girly things and tended to dress more "sporty". Now she's just this summer started painting her beautiful long nails, and after wearing a ponytail every single day since about age 6, she asked to get her nearly waist long hair cut to just below her shoulders with layers etc to look nice worn down. I'm taking her today before she changes her mind. Its so nice to see her no longer afraid to try to find a "style" for hair and clothing! We had the dress issue when S/O was having his graduation. First time since probably grade 1 she agreed to a dress, actually asked me for one. The spagetti straps are out. She won't wear anything without a high high neckline because she's "developing" and is not comfortable with that yet. It also means many tops that might fit her she won't wear due to v necks or scoop necks. She right now is so not proportioned, her belly being where she carries weight, and her chest not developed properly yet. But she's developing quick and seems to have my genes. I was over a daughter by grade 9 (and grew more and more, eventually having a breast reduction).

Some great ideas for changing up clothing with the bleaching etc. I have no creativity I think, but those all seem like things even I could manage. Maybe I can jazz up some basic solid tshirts to make them more trendy while still having the room she needs to breathe in them! I bet she'd be in her glory!!! Now that she's not in hockey anymore, she's really wanting to change her imagine, she's tired of being "one of the boys" at school, has started to "like" boys, and has a very girly girl best friend.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Mountain Equipment Co-op is big on on-line selling... website is www.mec.ca.
They don't have sales... but they do have a clearance centre.
Usually, they waive the shipping charges if you purchase more than $X at one time.
And their prices are usually better than "most" specialty outdoors shops. (They are a co-op, so you have to join, but that's only something like $5, one-time membership)

We used to live in a city where MEC has a store.
Now, we don't have the store - but they are really reliable with mail-order. And if you get it and the sizing doesn't work? Just send it back.

 

[Mattsmom277]

Going to check that out for sure. I don't remember at all where locally used to sell mountain equipment brand but I remember years ago I bought a great winter ski jacket that I passed along eventually to my cousin and this past winter I saw her wearing it and it still looked brand new! So their clothing sure holds up well to time!! I haven't seen it around for years so doubt I can buy locally but I have learned to enjoy internet shopping so going to check out their site today or tomorrow and see what they might have. THanks!!!!

 

[trinityroyal]

Mattsmom, have you tried online shopping at all?

There are some pretty good measurement-taking videos and guides available on the internet so that you can get an accurate idea of your size. Measurements are more of a guideline than weight for gauging what size you wear.

I've had really good luck with Old Navy online shopping -- they have a Canadian website now, the clothes are cute and seem to be popular with the teens, but they have a good range of adult sizes. There are some great sales on right now, and they're having a 25% off sale today if you want to try an experiment. PM me if you want the coupon code for it.

AND they have free shipping for any returns, if you get the wrong size or don't like the items you order. Just keep the packaging, attach the return label and send the whole works back for a full refund.

Or...you could always plan a road trip to the city and come shopping with Trinity for the day (hint, hint)