I joined this message board many many years ago when my son had social issues. Wow does that seem like a cake walk now. Fast forward ...he is now 15. He got suspended from school back in February for having a cigar in his backpack. Before he got home that day, something told me to search his bedroom. I found a multitude of pills in small baggies. Along with suicidal notes and writings. We had him put in a treatment facility for depression. The pills varied from ibuprofen to my daughters zoloft that he had been stealing. He says he tried it to help him feel better but it did nothing. He was buying and using oxycotin, and some other drugs from "friends" at school. He had to start at ground zero for earning our trust. I wouldn't even give him two dollars for lunch money...for fear he would save it to buy drugs. I thought we were on a good road. The past few months seemed great, but there have been times when I thought something was "off" with him. My husband just dismissed it and said I was over reacting and being fearful. I decided to go on a girls trip with my mom and sister to Florida last week. On Sunday I recieved a call from my husband that he walked in on our son smoking pot in his bedroom. They had an arguement... an hour later my husband went to check on him and he had climbed out his window and stolen my husbands sports car. Husband called the police and we had them and all his friends looking for him for hours. I left my mom and sis and jumped on the first plane home. He showed up that evening. We spoke the next morning and he was very defensive and told me that pot helps him keep depression "at bay". And if we won't let him smoke pot then he might as well just kill himself. Then he locked himself in his bedroom. I called the police out of fear he was hurting himself. They searched his room and found 3 homemade bongs. We have also found out he has been posting videos on youtube on how to make bongs. Quite the entrepreneur, right? As a result of all this...one of the football coaches was also one of the responding sherriffs. They have to report any activity to the sports people. Because the athletes sign an agreement to not use drugs/tabacco/alcohol or they will get kicked off the team. So he had to turn in his football gear yesterday. We also went to counseling yesterday in which he told me he will never forgive me for calling the police and getting him kicked off of football. He said he doesn't love me, he hates me and that I am a pos mother. I told him I would just move out of our house. My husband sides with him most of the time and tells me I over react. Now please keep in mind that my brother and father were both addicts who died at very young ages. My brother also got high and burned our house down and molested me and countless other children. So forgive me if I seem a little PTSD about drugs. The sherriff said that it was up to us if we wanted to press charges for the bongs and the theft of the car. We have decided not to at this time. Last night when we got home, my son came in my room crying hysterically telling me he was so sorry. He said it scared him to death that I want to move out. I want to believe him. I want to trust him. But I feel like I have been stabbed in the heart. I can't get out of bed today. I feel so drained. I don't know how to move on from this. My husband and I haven't spoken since counseling. He is on one end of the spectrum where he thinks they should go shoot guns (my son has clinical depression...not a good idea) and even go buy guns. I am on the other end of the spectrum and I don't even think he should be left alone for more than an hour or so. My husband cannot attend regular counseling, as he is in the Navy and in medication school. He only has 4 months left until he finishes. I just don't know what I can do from here. I feel like I can never leave home for fear that something is going to happen. Thank yall for listening. I guess I just needed a safe place to vent.