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Parent Emeritus
I'm so torn and so sad
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 678413" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I'm sorry, but this just does not make sense to me. Your son is already showing that he is making poor choices so for your therapist to say he should have a say in what his consequences should be, I just do not see how that will help him learn. When someone breaks the law and goes before a judge for sentencing, the judge does not ask the person "what do you think would be a good consequence?"</p><p></p><p>There should be a clear consequence already in place if son does A, B, or C. If he is living in your house then it is up to you and your husband to set the rules.</p><p>If you allow your son to participate in what the consequences are this leaves room for negotiation and a d_c will take full advantage of this and manipulate the situation to their benefit.</p><p></p><p>Clear boundaries, house rules and consequences are the only way to let your son know where you stand, what you will and won't tolerate and when he does not follow them then it's up to you and your husband to follow through on the consequence.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 678413, member: 18516"] I'm sorry, but this just does not make sense to me. Your son is already showing that he is making poor choices so for your therapist to say he should have a say in what his consequences should be, I just do not see how that will help him learn. When someone breaks the law and goes before a judge for sentencing, the judge does not ask the person "what do you think would be a good consequence?" There should be a clear consequence already in place if son does A, B, or C. If he is living in your house then it is up to you and your husband to set the rules. If you allow your son to participate in what the consequences are this leaves room for negotiation and a d_c will take full advantage of this and manipulate the situation to their benefit. Clear boundaries, house rules and consequences are the only way to let your son know where you stand, what you will and won't tolerate and when he does not follow them then it's up to you and your husband to follow through on the consequence. [/QUOTE]
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I'm so torn and so sad
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