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I'm so torn and so sad
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 678449" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Good for you, it is a great start. You do what you feel is the best for your son and your family. Small steps are best, with consequences you will stand firm on and reinforce. That sends a clear message to your son. The goal is to help him make changes and abide by rules of your home.</p><p>Sometimes getting tougher and setting limits and boundaries will cause a backlash from our d cs. Just be ready for it, if it does happen.</p><p> This is really good advice. Our d cs can be pretty clever. We have to be one step ahead of them.</p><p></p><p>With that in mind, as you begin this journey to have your son follow rules and learn from his mistakes with consequences, it is a good idea to rebuild and restrengthen yourself. It is exhausting going through the stress of all of this. Take time for you.</p><p></p><p>We love our kids so much. We can become so emotionally tangled up in their lives and choices. The article on loving detachment is geared to help us see ourselves as separate individuals. It helps me to read it often, so that I am not dragged down with the choices my d cs make. It is hard to chart a steady course, with a brain that has been fried by dealing with these kids. It is true, darn kids fry our brains, turn us inside out, and yank our heartstrings. How is anyone supposed to be rational, after all of that? So, Sooz, if you haven't already, read this article</p><p><a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/</a></p><p>It doesn't mean we do not love our kids, it means we can start to untangle ourselves from the web they have woven with the choices they make. Sometimes gosh darn it, it seems like we are more affected than they are, and that is not good.</p><p></p><p>You are doing great......already making changes, talking it over and making a plan with your husband. AWESOME.</p><p>I hope your son will see that you are both united and make some changes of his own.</p><p>Fingers and toes crossed.</p><p>Take care, and be kind to yourself.</p><p>Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. We really care.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 678449, member: 19522"] Good for you, it is a great start. You do what you feel is the best for your son and your family. Small steps are best, with consequences you will stand firm on and reinforce. That sends a clear message to your son. The goal is to help him make changes and abide by rules of your home. Sometimes getting tougher and setting limits and boundaries will cause a backlash from our d cs. Just be ready for it, if it does happen. This is really good advice. Our d cs can be pretty clever. We have to be one step ahead of them. With that in mind, as you begin this journey to have your son follow rules and learn from his mistakes with consequences, it is a good idea to rebuild and restrengthen yourself. It is exhausting going through the stress of all of this. Take time for you. We love our kids so much. We can become so emotionally tangled up in their lives and choices. The article on loving detachment is geared to help us see ourselves as separate individuals. It helps me to read it often, so that I am not dragged down with the choices my d cs make. It is hard to chart a steady course, with a brain that has been fried by dealing with these kids. It is true, darn kids fry our brains, turn us inside out, and yank our heartstrings. How is anyone supposed to be rational, after all of that? So, Sooz, if you haven't already, read this article [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/[/URL] It doesn't mean we do not love our kids, it means we can start to untangle ourselves from the web they have woven with the choices they make. Sometimes gosh darn it, it seems like we are more affected than they are, and that is not good. You are doing great......already making changes, talking it over and making a plan with your husband. AWESOME. I hope your son will see that you are both united and make some changes of his own. Fingers and toes crossed. Take care, and be kind to yourself. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. We really care. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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