I'm such a wuss...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by witzend, Jun 22, 2007.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    As you might remember, when I decided to go back to work I had wanted to work near home, one or two days a week, maybe even from home doing office work as needed during flexible hours. I got suckered into working 4 days a week doing insurance work + everything else 25 miles from home 9 - 1 plus the extra half hour or so every day to get through what I started without any extra pay. The boss is not terribly appreciative of my work, but comes up with something new to add to my list every week.

    I did it for six months, and got her office together from a total wreck to a essentially smooth operation. I told her last Friday that I needed to quit. I explained that it was just too far to drive four times a week. She offered to fill my tank every week. I had offered to continue to do her books for an hourly rate, and she had accepted that - sort of - with no formal agreement. But she really wanted me to keep up with the way things were. I told her it was more time away from home than I wanted, and physically difficult for me to do. She asked if I would work 3 days a week, and work one day at home for the same amount of money. I told her I would think about it. I avoided discussing it with her when she asked me on Wednesday.

    Thursday I came home, certain that I was going to tell her today that I was not going to stay. A friend of a friend is offering me work 1/2 milr from home, one day a week, books only, for the same monthly pay she's giving me. I said yes and I start on Wednesday. I couldn't tell her today. I have to do it on Monday, and I know she will be busy. I'll set her up so that whoever she hires will have an idea of what she wants. Which is a heck of a lot more than I had when I started.

    If I get the nerve, that is...
  2. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    You get the nerve! Good for you!! That's a great job offer!!!Conratulations!!!! Just be honest and it will be easier. The truth will set you free- literally and figuratively!!!-Alyssa
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Go for it, Girl!!! One day for the same pay as the other job....excellent! Type a formal letter of resignation over the weekend. It'll help you stick to it on Monday. Good luck! Congrats on the new job!
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Thanks, guys. That's a good idea to type up the letter, even if I only use it as a starting off point. If I'm lucky, I can get husband to be a sounding board, too. It makes me feel braver to say it out loud. I tried telling myself this morning all the way to work that "it's about me, not her". In my heart I know it's true. That doesn't make it any easier to deal with telling her though. We're so trained to not disappoint others, you know?
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Witz, a letter is a good idea to help prompt you to follow through. I hope you are giving her a two week notice just for the principle of the thing, if nothing else. I couldn't tell from your post if you were doing that or not. Doing this fair and square with a good notice and a letter might help you feel less guilty.

    Good luck!

  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Yes, I'm giving two weeks notice. I figure that's more than fair since I told her a week ago I was looking elsewhere. I had wanted to give two weeks notice then. But, I will give her that, and even set the new person up. It will be very difficult for me to work 5 days for two weeks. I saw a neurological physical therapist Wednesday, and she told me that I was overdoing it, and is going to call the Muscular Dystrophy Association and see if she can help me to get a scooter or motorized wheelchair. That still hasn't quite sunk in.

    I know I have been overdoing it, and I know I am getting weaker. It's very difficult to decide at a time in your life that you finally feel that you are getting your head together that your body is slowly failing you. I don't know how much of an impression I can make on the new boss when I know that I am going to be that tired. He knows that I have MD, but what does that really mean to someone who is unfamiliar with it. I hope that the excitement of the new job will keep me upbeat enough to get through those first few weeks. Then it becomes one day a week and I know I can handle it.

    My nerves are a little bit frazzled though, as you might imagine...
  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Witz, if she is in business then she knows that employees, even good ones like you, come and go. This isn't personal; it isn't that you don't like her, it's that the job isn't what you had in mind and your health is being impacted.

    She will be disappointed to lose you but she won't be disappointed IN you. There is a huge difference.

    You did a good job for her and are leaving your position in good shape for someone else to take over. Few people who leave jobs can say that. There is no reason for you to feel bad.

    Now, (as someone says- Barbara?) go put on your big girl panties and tell her you're leaving. You can do it! :thumbsup:

  8. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Witzend -- I'm so happy for you! Your new job is a wonderful opportunity for you!!!

    When I gave my 2-week notice to my last boss, what worked for me was to hand her an envelope with my typed up resignation letter. As I handed it to her, her eyes were focused on the envelope. It was easier for me to say, "I'm sorry to do this, but I'm giving you my letter of resignation and two weeks notice." It's not the most fun thing in the world to do, but you will feel so relieved after it's all over.

    I do understand about your MD, as I have MS. When you overdo it at work, you suffer more at home. Like for me, I'd walk into the house and take a 3-hour nap and husband would have to cook dinner.

    I was in an electric scooter for about 2 years many years ago. It is tough resigning yourself that you need it. But after I got it, I was so thrilled to be able to go to the store once again and go to the zoo and places like that....and have the energy to do it! I thought I'd be very self-conscious of being in a scooter, and I will admit you will a little bit at first. But you get over it quickly when you realize what a life saver it is. :smile:

    p.s. I'm not sure what you mean by: "I'll set her [the new employee] up so that whoever she hires will have an idea of what she wants. Which is a heck of a lot more than I had when I started." Do you mean that if your boss tells her the duties are such-and-such but there are really more, that you will tell her that? If that is what you meant, I have mixed feelings on that. I would just train her on what your boss says the duties are and leave it at that. Every single job I've ever been on ALWAYS ends up being more work and more and more duties than when I started it....and of course, there is no increase in pay! Not fair, I know. At any rate, I would let the new employee find that out herself.

  9. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Congratulations on finding the new job, closer to home and better pay. I wouldn't hesitate to tell your former boss that you must cut back for health reasons if she gives you a hard time....it's difficult to argue with that....sounds like you have given her warning that this was coming....its just inconvient for her to find someone new and begin their training...such is the way of business.....

    Hope she's getting used to the idea.....and Monday goes well.
  10. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    That SO does not make you a wuss. Congratulations on the job offer. Here is a happy dance for you:

    :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

  11. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Oh, yeah - gonna have to pull up them big-girl panties! :coffee: I know it will be better for her, and better for me as well. She's never really had employees before, I don't think. At least, not any that stayed more than a week or so. She cries at the drop of a hat, too.

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I'm not sure what you mean by: "I'll set her [the new employee] up so that whoever she hires will have an idea of what she wants. Which is a heck of a lot more than I had when I started." </div></div>

    When I came, there was no job description and she never taught me a thing. She had me typing up training documents and setting up powerpoint presentations for a couple of weeks, which I'm really good at, and didn't teach me how to do anything else. She didn't tell me what else she wanted me to accomplish. It was clear that she wanted me to do something else, but I didn't know what it was.

    Then about two weeks in, she started coming up to me with insurance claim forms that I had never seen before (not to mention, I had never seen any of their insurance claim forms) and handing them to me and saying "OK, I'm gonna test you on this one, it's really complicated. What are you going to do with it?" Huh? This is training?

    She'd tell me to set up classes for people, listing their boss, and not tell me who their boss was. She'd just say "I'll let you figure that out" and walk off, like that was teaching me something. She'd never showed me anything other than a phone list, and when I made her show me, it took her about ten minutes to fluff her way through the internet to figure it out. I finally told her one day that I didn't know what to do with something I had never seen before, and asked if she would show me once so that I didn't have to guess. Her response was "Well, then you'll never make it in the insurance business" and walked off. Funnily enough, I never wanted to make it in the insurance business!


    I'll at least get a job description to the new person that explains when certain registrations need to be filed, where to find information that she will need online, who to call in case of a particular question, etc... Without it, there's no chance anyone will last any amount of time with her.