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I'm Terrified.
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 179527" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>It's pretty terrifying from where you sit looking into the future. From where I sit looking back I learned that all those things happened and it wasn't the end of the world. It's ok. There is room in our world for a wide spectrum of personalities. </p><p></p><p>I have to believe that any parent who passes on some of their genetic characteristics feels guilt. My difficult child got the worst of both sides of the family. There is no blame. I told difficult child's dr. that I don't care if it was something I did as long as I can help him. Tell me what I did wrong and how to fix it. I'll do anything. There was no one to blame but it feels like everyone is looking to point a finger at someone. It's just not that simple. </p><p></p><p>Your job as a parent is to raise a child who will be an independent, law abiding, tax paying, good person. His idiosyncracies are not your fault or your responsibilities. Keep your parenting goal clear and don't worry as much about him being average. Chances are good that your son will never be average. That isn't bad and it sure isn't easier but he is yours and you will do what it takes to get to your parenting goal. I think it's a mistake to want to make a child be just like everyone else. It's stuffing a square peg into a round hole. </p><p></p><p>I hope that someday the stigma you felt as a person with bipolar will diminish. It will if we stop hiding it and not allow people to dismiss people who have this diagnosis as "crazy". </p><p></p><p>I love my son. He could have easily been a brilliant person who contributed great things to world or he can be a street person with little ability to function. My goal is still the same for difficult child as it is with easy child. Their outcomes will be different but my goal is the same.</p><p></p><p>Take a deep breath. Decide what is important in parenting your son. Get your husband on the same page. Research, get second opinions, educate yourself and then go out and advocate for your son. Implement some of what you learned, evaluate how tools are working, adjust things to help difficult child find success, build yourself a team who are there to support you and your son. Include the school in this team. You are about to become a warrior mom and you sure aren't alone. Welcome to our world.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 179527, member: 3"] It's pretty terrifying from where you sit looking into the future. From where I sit looking back I learned that all those things happened and it wasn't the end of the world. It's ok. There is room in our world for a wide spectrum of personalities. I have to believe that any parent who passes on some of their genetic characteristics feels guilt. My difficult child got the worst of both sides of the family. There is no blame. I told difficult child's dr. that I don't care if it was something I did as long as I can help him. Tell me what I did wrong and how to fix it. I'll do anything. There was no one to blame but it feels like everyone is looking to point a finger at someone. It's just not that simple. Your job as a parent is to raise a child who will be an independent, law abiding, tax paying, good person. His idiosyncracies are not your fault or your responsibilities. Keep your parenting goal clear and don't worry as much about him being average. Chances are good that your son will never be average. That isn't bad and it sure isn't easier but he is yours and you will do what it takes to get to your parenting goal. I think it's a mistake to want to make a child be just like everyone else. It's stuffing a square peg into a round hole. I hope that someday the stigma you felt as a person with bipolar will diminish. It will if we stop hiding it and not allow people to dismiss people who have this diagnosis as "crazy". I love my son. He could have easily been a brilliant person who contributed great things to world or he can be a street person with little ability to function. My goal is still the same for difficult child as it is with easy child. Their outcomes will be different but my goal is the same. Take a deep breath. Decide what is important in parenting your son. Get your husband on the same page. Research, get second opinions, educate yourself and then go out and advocate for your son. Implement some of what you learned, evaluate how tools are working, adjust things to help difficult child find success, build yourself a team who are there to support you and your son. Include the school in this team. You are about to become a warrior mom and you sure aren't alone. Welcome to our world. [/QUOTE]
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