Im ticked, tired and feel ..argh.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Dec 13, 2011.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Now I have a question for most able-bodied, sound-minded people. If you had a job that you had to be at work at..lets say 10 am for a reference. And you get up to leave around 9...and you saw that the dog and strewn a trash bag all over the house, would you just step over it and walk out without picking it up? Especially considering you had most likely been up since much earlier and had seen it. And knowing you have a mother who is disabled and a step-father who works out of town doing construction and leaves at 4:30 in the morning and wont arrive home until at least 7pm! And this same person came home and walked over that same pile of trash and left it there!

    And also he walked right by a pile of dishes that havent been done since Sunday night! He cant say he doesnt eat here because he does.

    Im tired. I just went out to mail that stupid sensa stuff back, get more Xmas cards (sheepish smile) and some stuff for dinner tonite. Now before I can even start dinner I have to clean up a huge mess. I whined on the phone to Tony and we have figured out why the dog is attacking the trash bags. Dirty diapers. We dont live one of those places where we can just take the bags out and put them in the big bins outside. We have to carry them down to the woods to burn them...or put them in the car or truck to take them to the dump. We just burn them. We have a huge burn pile in the woods. But would Billy carry a bag down there? Oh heck no! All of this stuff is dumped on Tony. No wonder he is tired of all of us.
  2. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    No, I would not.

    Would daughter? Probably not. At least not today after I blasted her for leaving a huge mess in the kitchen last night after making chorizo and eggs. I had to clean it before I made dinner. I also took the car keys from her (she drives my car) and she walked back and forth to work today and will until I feel darn good and ready to let her use it again. She also didn't empty the clean dishes from the dishwasher, which is her job. She's such a dang slob and I'm fed up. She's not a teen anymore and she not living like one in my house.

    Would son? Most likely. But, he's 14. He's step over and around, do cartwheels, backflips, hop on one leg, to avoid doing anything that would resemble cleaning.

    As for yours, I just don't know what to say. I know it has been an ongoing and stressful problem for you. I'm going to be blunt, he wouldn't be living there anymore if it were me. Don't care about money issues either. I don't care about not eating "here" or not. Either step up or get thee out. Seriously.
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    My thoughts exactly. Time to move out on his own if he is not contributing to the house...
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That is so where I am at but I need the other half on board. It is so weird to me that the step parent is the one who is so lenient and gives him so much leeway. If this were Cory doing it, all hell would pay.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Well, I have done that, if I just can't face what my doggie did, then I pick it up later... but I dont ahve anyone to answer to. I would never expect my son or my mom to walk thru that....

    If Q leaves a bag down or some food out and the dog rips into it...he has to clean it up. Not me. and I will leave it there all day till he comes home and does it. lol. (not if I need a meeting at my house of course)
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Janet, as you're dealing with an Aspie, it might just be part of the background to him. Point it out specifically and have him do it. It wasn't until a few years ago I actually would notice fuzzballs on the floor, etc. Things that were on the floor when I walked into the room were simply part of the room to my brain and didn't register as being out of place.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'd be tempted to toss it all in his bedroom or in front of his bedroom door..

    But then I'm not a typical able-minded, sound minded person like you asked an opinion from. LOL!
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful mom would dump it onto my bed. She did it twice. It works.

    Travis won't pick it up either, ever. Heck, often husband wouldn't pick it up and I'd be cleaning it up before I headed out the door for school. And did, several times.

    But as you say, at least we don't have to cart it a long way to a burn pile. We do have trash guys to pick it up. If Travis remembers which night is trash night because we switched companies and he's used to tues night trash not monday. ugh lol

    He does it again deposit it on his bed. Be like my mom and never say a word. Words really aren't necessary :rofl:
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    The only thing I let Miss KT slide on is picking up poop, because it makes her gag. Since cleaning up yak (including hairballs) makes ME gag, we've come to a reasonable compromise. But trash all over the floor? Oh, no. That mess had better be picked up by the one who saw it first.
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thats what tony says...oh he has issues. Dont we all?
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Dear Janet.

    You need some new rules in your house.
    At least, that would be husband's advice.

    Garbage? where dogs can get at the bags? EVER?

    But... you can't drag the stuff anywhere.
    And YOU can't build a fenced-in compound for garbage.
    AND you don't have a "garbage room" attached to your house (don't want that either - attracts mice and bugs...)
    And you don't even have a nice little trailer sitting outside the back door that you can just toss the smaller bags of garbage into?

    Of course not.

  12. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I could see depositing it on his bed if he had made the mess. Since he ignored it instead, I can see depositing it in his doorway or on his computer, or the driver's seat of his car (my guess is he'll just shove it out of his way from any place it's put until someone tells him exactly what should be done, why, and what he should have done to prevent it being made his problem). You have to train him to see the mess, and then to feel responsible for correcting it.
  13. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, there is a point in there. Who's dog is this? Whos' taking responsibility for the dog and the dog's behavior? Where is garbage normally kept? Maybe these 'issues' would be battles you can fight and actually stand a chance of winning since the current expectations aren't working out so well. It sounds like everyone is pointing the finger at everyone else. That has to stop. The koi is all falling on you and obviously, something is wrong with that picture.
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member is supposedly mine because I had a dog that got run over about two months before we got this dog. I blubbered on and on about how I wanted a small little dog that would never leave the house except for little outings to use the potty because I didnt want this one to ever go up to the road and I didnt want my evil neighbors to have a chance at shooting it. So Billy searched around and found this one on Craigslist and dragged me up to see it and of course I couldnt say no once I saw the thing. We were sort of lied to about this dog. He was 18 months old at the time and they swore to us that he was completely housebroken and well behaved. He came with a kennel and a leash. Well...he was kennel trained. Thats it. He has never been housebroken. He will go outside and then come inside and potty just to be a difficult child. If you tick him off you can expect a present. He can get into any drawer to find candy. He climbs walls and anything he can get into/onto to get to the top of stuff to get into what he wants. He is a regular difficult child. I have no idea how he gets into the trashcans. We have those tall black trashcans that hold lawn and leaf bags. He is 4/5 pounds. He doesnt knock the can over but he can pull the trash out. Now last night he did just tear into the bags because Tony had left two bags tied up next to the front door. Tony had forgotten there were dirty diapers in them. Jamie and Billie dont use those plastic bags to wrap their diapers in before they throw the diapers in the trash can. Mandy does and Buddy doesnt go after them in the trash can. I think they have some sort of scent blocker on those bags. Billie says she sees no use in using plastic bags to throw diapers away. Sigh. Mandy carries them everywhere in her diaper bag.

    But you are right, he is probably my dog. I also have to take care of the dog in the yard which is my responsibility too. Tony helps by cleaning out her pen but I have to feed her. I cant water her because the bucket is too heavy so he does that too. Billy refuses to go out there unless Tony is home to ask him. Then he will take out scraps. He ignores me if I ask. I cannot even attempt to try putting trash in Billy's room because he wouldnt notice. If he did he would toss it across the hall into the room where all the junk is stored. I have already found him tossing bags of trash that comes out of his room into that room.

    My dream would be for him to move out when he gets his taxes. Problem is I dont know that he can afford it. I got a lead on a job for him about a week and a half or so ago and I dont know if he even looked into it. I was in Office Depot buying his Xmas gift -the Kindle Fire- and I was talking to the manager just shooting the breeze and I said something about having a geek for a son and he stopped me sort of in mid sentence and he asked me about him, age, experience, did he have a degree, yada yada. I told him he was working for Radio Shack and had been for over 4 years now and had the degree in computer networking and he had been fixing peoples computers on the side now for so many years and the guy told me to have Billy put in an application on the internet but to also come in and talk to him in person too. He had me give him his name so he could be looking for the application to come in. Now I dont think Billy has done it. Im sure I would have heard about it. I wish he would get a better job so he could get out from under us. I think he is afraid to move out. He said something about us not being able to make it without I dont think that is a problem. Yes there have been times it has been a good thing he has been here. I might not be alive if he hadnt been here to find me and call the ambulance. Maybe that does worry him. I dont know.
  15. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    OK We have a dog... who has gotten into the trash too many times. My feeling is that if you come home and find trash all over the place then darn it pick it up. I would be very upset at someone who just left the trash there and stepped over it!!! I mean trash all over the house is trash, it stinks, and the sooner it is picked up the better. At my house whoever comes in and finds it, cleans it up and then is certainly allowed to complain and swear at the dog!!!! I don't know if this ever came up when difficult child was at home... but my husband, my easy child daughter and I have all cleaned up trash and all of us have complained about it too.

    And yes we took steps to keep the dog out of the trash.

  16. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Simple solution -

    GET A BADAZZ TRASH CAN and put it in the house. WALMART - $30.00 with lid and wheels. Apparently you need this for peace and if it costs $30.00 for peace in your home? I'd get that, not the Kindle and keep poop off my floor and out of my life, and IN the trash can. I'd also tell any kid with a baby - ALL DIAPERS go with you when you go - PERIOD. Sorry - but I have a poop=eating dog and this is the new rule of the house. SO IT HAS BEEN SAID, SO IT IS WRITTEN.
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911

    and come to think of it - WHOSE HONEY is a CONSTRUCTION GENIUS??????? (talk about face palm)

  18. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Good point, but we go farther on that one... any GUEST with a baby, takes all baby stuff with when they leave.
    We've done our share of that already - its their turn. And yes, we toted out every single dirty diaper, too.
  19. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I never had to be asked.......I packed my #*(% and my kids S%() when we left. Regardless of where we were. I'm not sure WHY people /parents think if you take off a disposable diaper and roll it all up and pull the tab/tape over the smelly thing that the rest of the world can't smell it stinks, it stunk of the bottom, it stunk while you were taking it off, and it still stinks when it's rolled into a neat little bundle and tossed into my trash can.......HERE take this with you and put it into YOUR trash. I NEVER left a smelly diaper at someones house in their trash can. I felt that was the height of rudeness. I carried trash bags with me....and put the soiled diaper in a bag, tied it and took it with me.
  20. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    HaoZi, I think you just identified the problem I have with my family!

    Janet - I agree. If you had regular garbage service, those diapers could go in the OUTSIDE bin like we insist. But - you don't.

    In our house, first person to see it is required to take care of it. If Jett is in the same room and it's somewhere OBVIOUS, and he's left it? The assumption is that he saw it. And I will tell him to clean it up. No arguments. (Onyxx did, but then... Sigh.)

    But then the question arises - if he's running out the door, he might not have time. I've been known to leave stuff so I won't be late.