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General Parenting
i'm totally spent, i need some advice :)
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 210583" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>To remove all stressors for our child(ren) would sure make their lives easier but at the same time make us into personal attendants.</p><p> </p><p>Our role as parents is to make sure they are ready for indepent living. </p><p> </p><p>When a situation arises we can: 1. Put the problem into their laps. 2. Walk them through the problem or 3. Solve the problem for them.</p><p> </p><p>#3 should only be used when # 1 and #2 are absolutely not options. Like calling in a refill for medications, finding transportation to everyplace, ect.</p><p> </p><p>#1. We are taking a gamble that they will find the strength within them to use the tools we make sure they have access to to solve the problem. However, the end result if it works out is so huge - self esteem builder. This way requires tons of patience and endurance on our part. Also lots of lip biting - if you make it their problem, you have to let them figure it out even if trial and error hurt them.</p><p> </p><p>#2. This takes a lot of time. We are there each step of the way encouraging them. They have to find the tools with our clues. It can be frustrating as they will most likely not take advantage of the biggest and best tools available right in front of their eyes.</p><p> </p><p>#3. Meets their needs but does not teach them how.</p><p> </p><p>We get the fun job of figuring out which situation calls for which method. Results are so slow in coming it can be discouraging. We live in an instant gratification country and as we earn for that fast to come positive results, it will not happen. These things take time and mostly longer than we think.</p><p> </p><p>Each child is different at each day of his or her life. What is right for one will not always work for the next in the same situation.</p><p> </p><p>So, looks like I am not much help as it is back in your lap. But know that we know you love your child(ren) and will always choose what looks best at the moment. We respect your choices and support your needs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 210583, member: 5096"] To remove all stressors for our child(ren) would sure make their lives easier but at the same time make us into personal attendants. Our role as parents is to make sure they are ready for indepent living. When a situation arises we can: 1. Put the problem into their laps. 2. Walk them through the problem or 3. Solve the problem for them. #3 should only be used when # 1 and #2 are absolutely not options. Like calling in a refill for medications, finding transportation to everyplace, ect. #1. We are taking a gamble that they will find the strength within them to use the tools we make sure they have access to to solve the problem. However, the end result if it works out is so huge - self esteem builder. This way requires tons of patience and endurance on our part. Also lots of lip biting - if you make it their problem, you have to let them figure it out even if trial and error hurt them. #2. This takes a lot of time. We are there each step of the way encouraging them. They have to find the tools with our clues. It can be frustrating as they will most likely not take advantage of the biggest and best tools available right in front of their eyes. #3. Meets their needs but does not teach them how. We get the fun job of figuring out which situation calls for which method. Results are so slow in coming it can be discouraging. We live in an instant gratification country and as we earn for that fast to come positive results, it will not happen. These things take time and mostly longer than we think. Each child is different at each day of his or her life. What is right for one will not always work for the next in the same situation. So, looks like I am not much help as it is back in your lap. But know that we know you love your child(ren) and will always choose what looks best at the moment. We respect your choices and support your needs. [/QUOTE]
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i'm totally spent, i need some advice :)
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