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I'm very scared
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 382424" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Sharon,</p><p></p><p>hugs from one mother to another for your pain.</p><p></p><p>We have to wear that rhino skin from time to time with these difficult children because we can do and say everything right, but when it boils down to it they are in charge of what they do and what they say. Her feelings are just that, her feelings. They don't represent what you present. The sadness here is not that you haven't done everything you could, but that she feels you haven't. That she believes you feel she is a disappointment is not on you. Remember that she is angry with you because you won't walk away, you haven't given up. I think a call for some intensive, like a couple days a week, talk therapy is in order. It's what really helped pull my difficult child out of this kind of darkness.</p><p></p><p>Question - I'm not sure I understand how she could have failed a course already? Are you talking midterm? Does she have time to recommit herself? Since this is an alternative program, I surprised this is a surprise. I would have thought there would have been communication were she in danger of failing.</p><p></p><p>As Fran said, your easy child/difficult child is a mystery - she's a complicated young woman. I hope husband is able to breach the barrier she seems to have up this evening. Sharon, non of us are perfect parents. I would be surprised if any of us wouldn't go back and do some things different. Goodness knows I wish I could. But I have known you for six years now and I know how hard you have worked with your children. I have seen how devoted that you and husband have been to not only providing them with the medical and academic supports they need, but also providing a loving home with "normal" activities and lots of family togetherness.</p><p></p><p>This is not you failing Sharon, this is your daughter struggling. I pray you find some answers/solutions very soon. Hug difficult child, hug difficult child, and give it a tad bit of time and easy child/difficult child will welcome your arms as well. </p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 382424, member: 805"] Sharon, hugs from one mother to another for your pain. We have to wear that rhino skin from time to time with these difficult children because we can do and say everything right, but when it boils down to it they are in charge of what they do and what they say. Her feelings are just that, her feelings. They don't represent what you present. The sadness here is not that you haven't done everything you could, but that she feels you haven't. That she believes you feel she is a disappointment is not on you. Remember that she is angry with you because you won't walk away, you haven't given up. I think a call for some intensive, like a couple days a week, talk therapy is in order. It's what really helped pull my difficult child out of this kind of darkness. Question - I'm not sure I understand how she could have failed a course already? Are you talking midterm? Does she have time to recommit herself? Since this is an alternative program, I surprised this is a surprise. I would have thought there would have been communication were she in danger of failing. As Fran said, your easy child/difficult child is a mystery - she's a complicated young woman. I hope husband is able to breach the barrier she seems to have up this evening. Sharon, non of us are perfect parents. I would be surprised if any of us wouldn't go back and do some things different. Goodness knows I wish I could. But I have known you for six years now and I know how hard you have worked with your children. I have seen how devoted that you and husband have been to not only providing them with the medical and academic supports they need, but also providing a loving home with "normal" activities and lots of family togetherness. This is not you failing Sharon, this is your daughter struggling. I pray you find some answers/solutions very soon. Hug difficult child, hug difficult child, and give it a tad bit of time and easy child/difficult child will welcome your arms as well. Hugs, Sharon [/QUOTE]
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