Well, when I wrote my last note I was hanging on by a thread, but things have improved. difficult child has been much better lately... since I spent the night at my friend's house, it forced husband to get onboard (I walked out, but, being responsible, I told everyone where I was going and that I'd be back in the a.m. A few days later, I went to MN to help out--my dad has Alzheimer's, my best friend's dad died, my little sister moved out). Since then everyone seems to realize I mean biz and won't back down. I just had to get everyhone's attention. The other HUGE factor is that husband wakes up difficult child every single morning and gives him his pill. If it weren't for that, I don't think I'd be living here. There's just such a huge change in difficult child's demeanor after he's had those itty bitty 20 mg. Also, part of it was me, escalating things. I have to really pay attention to my reactions. (I realize that also, from re-reading my old notes here, and also from reading a lot of notes simlilar to mine.) I'm taking Effexor, talking to a pro, and most importantly, when difficult child gets rude, I just walk away. He still makes noises about not wanting to go to Sylvan but he goes, and he's on time. He got all A's and B's on his year-end report card. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! When I picked him up on the last day of school, he showed me his report card, and I told him he could have something special. He of course asked for a PS2 and I said, "No, you're not getting one, ever. Try something else." "Baseball cards?" LOL! (Kids are so funny... $300 or 50 cents?) We went straight to Target and got a $6.99 pack of baseball cards and a Reese's peanut butter cup and he was in heaven. He loved little league. Their closing ceremonies were last weekend. He finally found a sport in which he excels AND he likes. He got lots of compliments from other parents about his demeanor and skill level. I signed him up for day camp/baseball camp (among other camps). He said he will hate it because it's too long... 9-2. Yeah, right. He'll love it. (He's still a complainer but I'm learning to blow it off.) He's doing well not eating as much wheat and that helps the hyperactivity. He's completely given up red dye, and we're going to introduce blue dye Sun. or Mon., since he's been off of it, to see if there's a reaction. He ate ice cream for the 1st time in a bazillion yrs yesterday, only because his sister was babysitting (grr) but otherwise, never, ever complains any more about his almond milk or rice milk. AMEN! Mostly, I've noticed that difficult child is not melting down as much... I realize he's on Adderal, but still, he's processing info better. Eg, the other day I picked him up from day camp and told him we were getting gas, and returning a waaaaay overdue book to the library. He had a fit about it the screamed at me for 15 min. yada yada. Today I just said, "That's where we're going." And I kept on driving. He shut up. (Whew.) Now when he does have a meltdown, it only lasts 20 min. or so. ("Only" is a relative term... parents like us understand that.) husband and I had a nice visit with-the child psychiatric the other day... I told husband he HAD to come along ALONE with-me. The dr finally said he thinks that difficult child may be one of those "out of sync" kids, and recommended the book with-the same name, and he said that as difficult child has gotten older, it's easier to see the gap/disconnect between his cognitive skills and emotional level. (Uh-duh!!!) But he said there is light at the end of the tunnel... it's just going to take a lot longer to get there. He spent a lot more time this time asking Qs about difficult child's bparents and his infancy. husband has reconciled himself to the fact that both his wife and son are on medications... the very antithesis of his chiro philosophy. Tough. If he wants any peace around here, it's got to be that way, at least for now. Sometimes a philosophy looks great on paper but doesn't work in real life. difficult child's room is still pretty bare... one of these days he'll earn back his bookcases and dresser and bedframe... and he's still paying us back for the chandelier glass he broke with-his football, but I've resigned myself to the fact that if he never gets his furniture back, and he never has a "normal" room, it's not the end of the world. (And in fact, breaking the light was actually a pretty normal kid thing.) I had to digest the fact that whatever I experience with-him is not going to be traditional childhood, and that I just plain cannot expect to have fun with-him. (I see a lot of moms here who have the same issue... the disappointment and sense of loss, that these kids are just not fun and you don't always like them... and sometimes never like them.) Once I grasped that concept, everything just got better. (Okay, the Effexor and a glass of wine at night help, too!) I have spent a lot of time playing catch with-him, since he loves baseball, and have let him watch a bit more TV (especially since school is out). Detachment is everything. I hope I can keep it up. Thank you all for your support over the last few months.