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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 104051" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi and welcome - </p><p></p><p>Sorry I haven't been here sooner for you. I've been suffering with my own little bout of "funk". </p><p></p><p>My son is a sticky fingered, thief. He's been told over and over and over and over to respect boundaries, possessions, things, and finally here is what we ended up living like. If you think it's "over the top" then call me when you have to do it and let me know what you think then - it was the ONLY way after 11 years to get him to respect anything and then read what he did. </p><p></p><p>We counted every bit of piggy bank and rolled coins and put a note in with the coins that said HERE is how much we have, and that there was another note in an undisclosed location. When the money ended up missing - we automatically blamed difficult child and told him it would be that way until NO money came up missing for a years time. He stole my rolled coins - my one little pleasure to buy something new just for myself. It was over $40.00 - </p><p></p><p>Steal coins - </p><p>Get yard detail from hades-</p><p>That equaled minimum wage per hour until the money was pd. back.</p><p></p><p>He stole a 3 carat and platinum diamond ring - had it in his closet on the FLOOR for his girlfriend. Even took a nice gift box out of my jewelry box. </p><p></p><p>This prompted us to get a safe and all jewels were put in there. The combination was left to memory and a copy was sent to my Mom. </p><p></p><p>Steel jewels-</p><p>Get safe-</p><p>Memorize combination and store copy of number at moms</p><p></p><p>He kept breaking into my bedroom and stealing my lotions, gels, deodorant, and watching TV he was not allowed to. </p><p></p><p>I put a lock on my bedroom door handle</p><p>I called Direct TV and asked how to lock out channels and restrict time on tv (they are awesome for this) </p><p>Bought him a plastic basket bright color with-his own toiletries</p><p></p><p>He kept getting into our shed and snooping in Christmas stuff, halloween decorations - boxes of yard sale stuff and would leave it out all over the shed. ARGH - </p><p></p><p>I bought a hinge lock for both doors, and 2 padlocks</p><p>Memorized the combinations </p><p>Sent a copy to my Mom</p><p></p><p>I put locks on my bedroom, my spare bedroom, my office, and took ALL the soaps, shampoos, etc out of the bathroom. NOTHING was left under or in a cabinet. It was all kept in my room locked up. </p><p></p><p>I took ALL my cleaning supplies, bug spray(that was so pretty on the ceiling in his room =he'd leave his bedroom window open and wait for moths and bugs to come in and then blast them with bug spray) so all of anything that sprayed or hissed, or was not his was locked up. Yes it was a pain. </p><p></p><p>We put a lock over the thermostat. </p><p></p><p>We put a time limit on PS2 and monitored the content</p><p></p><p>We put a time limit on the computer and moved the second computer to a longer desk so our computers would be together and I could monitor what he was doing. The crud and filth he looked at - stopped. I put Net Nanny on the computer too because he had a friend that thought turning the computer on and off rapidly and in succession would allow you access to the computer without administrator passwords - it worked some how. So then I networked them and would log him on and log him off and then check his history. </p><p></p><p>He broke into our shop (busted a window to get tools to fix his bike) and shoved his smaller friend through the window to unlock the door. </p><p></p><p>We put bars on the window, fixed the glass and installed an alarm</p><p></p><p></p><p>Through all this - I nearly lost my sanity. </p><p></p><p>What he did? </p><p></p><p>He figured out that when it was nice I left the windows open and he got a ladder and climbed through the window to access the bedrooms with locked doors. </p><p></p><p>When I took a shower and didn't lock the office/closet for 4 minutes - he rushed in that room, snooped, ramsacked and took my walkman, stereo headphones, and other small things like batteries (had to be earned) and just junk. </p><p></p><p>When he couldn't get into the shed? He got in the van and took out the flat screwdriver end of the tire iron and pryed the lock off the shed, LEFT THE DOOR WIDE OPEN and the lock inside. He said he and a friend were going to clean our little pool. They took all kinds of chemicals out and my over boots (2 pr. brand new) and a sump pump and left it ALL out to be cleaned up, killed the grass, ripped the pool liner and shorted out the sump so he and dumb thief friend could have been electrocuted. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I never had a problem with him going into my purse - because I collect change AND I carry no cash. But if he ever HAD gone through my purse I would have beat him with it. </p><p></p><p>Finally when there was nothing left to steal, pilfer, plunder at our home - he got with 2 thief/thug boys who already were on probation for breaking and entering homes. He went with them and became the idiot 16 year old look out on 3 home robberies. He got 90+ days in juvenile hall, $6,000.00 in restitution, 1,000 hours of community service and pleaded guilty to 2 counts of adult felony burglary...that will never be off his record. If he messes up ONE time - he goes to ADULT jail for SIX years. And then will start the probation process over PLUS additional time, fees, and community service. The other two that actually broke into the houses and stole things? Got probation only - again. </p><p></p><p>Now my son is 17. He lives in a group home 3 hours from us. He is trying to get a GED despite the fact that he should be in high school and having the time of his life AND was a straight A student when he applied himself. (really). He was going to therapy and it helped more than anything but we've been going 11 years to therapy. </p><p></p><p>It's not like he grew up in a house with people who have no manners or respect for others boundaries. He even broke into DF's room and stole his brand new underwear. Then left them on the floor of his room; loaded- as if to say - HERE's WHAT I THINK OF YOU. </p><p></p><p>At the group home - he's breaking into the mans shops, taking things from other kids, and stealing bicycles in a SMALL neighborhood - the people there know what he's doing - they just don't like to 'cause' trouble with the law. So did juvenile hall and jail change him? Nope - less than 2 hours after being released to us - he was snooping in my stuff, accessed through a window left open for the breeze. </p><p></p><p>All the things I've mentioned to you could help you - Or maybe not. But I just wanted to let you know - you are not alone. Oh and as far as taking HIS stuff in retribution - NEVER not once, no matter HOW badly I 'thought' it would solve this problem or brain glitch -proud to say not one time. </p><p></p><p>Hope you find something in this that helps. </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 104051, member: 4964"] Hi and welcome - Sorry I haven't been here sooner for you. I've been suffering with my own little bout of "funk". My son is a sticky fingered, thief. He's been told over and over and over and over to respect boundaries, possessions, things, and finally here is what we ended up living like. If you think it's "over the top" then call me when you have to do it and let me know what you think then - it was the ONLY way after 11 years to get him to respect anything and then read what he did. We counted every bit of piggy bank and rolled coins and put a note in with the coins that said HERE is how much we have, and that there was another note in an undisclosed location. When the money ended up missing - we automatically blamed difficult child and told him it would be that way until NO money came up missing for a years time. He stole my rolled coins - my one little pleasure to buy something new just for myself. It was over $40.00 - Steal coins - Get yard detail from hades- That equaled minimum wage per hour until the money was pd. back. He stole a 3 carat and platinum diamond ring - had it in his closet on the FLOOR for his girlfriend. Even took a nice gift box out of my jewelry box. This prompted us to get a safe and all jewels were put in there. The combination was left to memory and a copy was sent to my Mom. Steel jewels- Get safe- Memorize combination and store copy of number at moms He kept breaking into my bedroom and stealing my lotions, gels, deodorant, and watching TV he was not allowed to. I put a lock on my bedroom door handle I called Direct TV and asked how to lock out channels and restrict time on tv (they are awesome for this) Bought him a plastic basket bright color with-his own toiletries He kept getting into our shed and snooping in Christmas stuff, halloween decorations - boxes of yard sale stuff and would leave it out all over the shed. ARGH - I bought a hinge lock for both doors, and 2 padlocks Memorized the combinations Sent a copy to my Mom I put locks on my bedroom, my spare bedroom, my office, and took ALL the soaps, shampoos, etc out of the bathroom. NOTHING was left under or in a cabinet. It was all kept in my room locked up. I took ALL my cleaning supplies, bug spray(that was so pretty on the ceiling in his room =he'd leave his bedroom window open and wait for moths and bugs to come in and then blast them with bug spray) so all of anything that sprayed or hissed, or was not his was locked up. Yes it was a pain. We put a lock over the thermostat. We put a time limit on PS2 and monitored the content We put a time limit on the computer and moved the second computer to a longer desk so our computers would be together and I could monitor what he was doing. The crud and filth he looked at - stopped. I put Net Nanny on the computer too because he had a friend that thought turning the computer on and off rapidly and in succession would allow you access to the computer without administrator passwords - it worked some how. So then I networked them and would log him on and log him off and then check his history. He broke into our shop (busted a window to get tools to fix his bike) and shoved his smaller friend through the window to unlock the door. We put bars on the window, fixed the glass and installed an alarm Through all this - I nearly lost my sanity. What he did? He figured out that when it was nice I left the windows open and he got a ladder and climbed through the window to access the bedrooms with locked doors. When I took a shower and didn't lock the office/closet for 4 minutes - he rushed in that room, snooped, ramsacked and took my walkman, stereo headphones, and other small things like batteries (had to be earned) and just junk. When he couldn't get into the shed? He got in the van and took out the flat screwdriver end of the tire iron and pryed the lock off the shed, LEFT THE DOOR WIDE OPEN and the lock inside. He said he and a friend were going to clean our little pool. They took all kinds of chemicals out and my over boots (2 pr. brand new) and a sump pump and left it ALL out to be cleaned up, killed the grass, ripped the pool liner and shorted out the sump so he and dumb thief friend could have been electrocuted. I never had a problem with him going into my purse - because I collect change AND I carry no cash. But if he ever HAD gone through my purse I would have beat him with it. Finally when there was nothing left to steal, pilfer, plunder at our home - he got with 2 thief/thug boys who already were on probation for breaking and entering homes. He went with them and became the idiot 16 year old look out on 3 home robberies. He got 90+ days in juvenile hall, $6,000.00 in restitution, 1,000 hours of community service and pleaded guilty to 2 counts of adult felony burglary...that will never be off his record. If he messes up ONE time - he goes to ADULT jail for SIX years. And then will start the probation process over PLUS additional time, fees, and community service. The other two that actually broke into the houses and stole things? Got probation only - again. Now my son is 17. He lives in a group home 3 hours from us. He is trying to get a GED despite the fact that he should be in high school and having the time of his life AND was a straight A student when he applied himself. (really). He was going to therapy and it helped more than anything but we've been going 11 years to therapy. It's not like he grew up in a house with people who have no manners or respect for others boundaries. He even broke into DF's room and stole his brand new underwear. Then left them on the floor of his room; loaded- as if to say - HERE's WHAT I THINK OF YOU. At the group home - he's breaking into the mans shops, taking things from other kids, and stealing bicycles in a SMALL neighborhood - the people there know what he's doing - they just don't like to 'cause' trouble with the law. So did juvenile hall and jail change him? Nope - less than 2 hours after being released to us - he was snooping in my stuff, accessed through a window left open for the breeze. All the things I've mentioned to you could help you - Or maybe not. But I just wanted to let you know - you are not alone. Oh and as far as taking HIS stuff in retribution - NEVER not once, no matter HOW badly I 'thought' it would solve this problem or brain glitch -proud to say not one time. Hope you find something in this that helps. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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