In a complete mess!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jugey, May 29, 2014.

  1. jugey

    jugey Active Member

    difficult child is medication free for a week and two days and she's very unstable. She goes from angry to sad so quickly, nobody could keep up. This morning she was hitting herself in the head. She was saying that she thinks she's going mental She was getting this very strange look in her eyes. She was aggressive and hostile with our dog. The slightest thing completely overwhelms her. Like she couldn't close her binder so she threw back the kitchen stool and ran from the room crying. I'm in WAY over my head. I have no idea how to deal with this but really don't know where to turn for help. She is mostly, aggressive and hostile with me, so I can't muster up any compassion for her. My reaction is to disconnect, which is only making things worse. She throws something at me, I walk away and then she desperately tries to reconnect and begs me to hug her, but I can't, so she escalates again.

    Should this kind of behaviour be expected when she's coming off all the medication she was on?

    I can't decide if I should get back to the psychiatrist, to consider different medications, or the same medications, or if we should wait this out a little longer. I feel like we're going to be at emerg any minute, but then maybe that's the best place for us. Perhaps she would get the right help there.

    My other dilemma is that I have her signed up for a week of residential camp starting June 29th. I can't imagine sending her like this. I don't think she could cope. So if we are going to try a new medication it would have to be NOW so that she could adjust and we could see if it's going to work. They won't want her at camp when she's just starting new medication! husband and I need this week so badly!

    All wisdom and advice is welcome....thanks!
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ok, I am going to attempt to answer you but I dont have much info to go on so be patient with me.

    From what I can gather in your signature your dtr is 13 and has been taken off of Abilify, prozac and Adderall. Were they discontinued all at once or were they weaned slowly over time and one at a time? Also it says that she has a new diagnosis of borderline...who gave her that? I personally wouldnt trust that at her age.

    The behavior you describe plus the diagnosis's in your signature tend to lean me in the direction of a mood disorder. I would most likely think some form of bipolar. If she has a mood disorder then being on no medications wont help. Her behavior sounds like me when I am unstable.

    If she were my daughter I would contact the psychiatrist and ask about getting her on a mood stabilizer first and foremost. From there you can see what else needs to be dealt with. A good book about bipolar is The Bipolar Child.
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would be on the phone pronto with the psychiatrist! Things don't sound safe and they need to know.
  4. jugey

    jugey Active Member

    It all happened at once. Adderall was discontinued. Prozac went from 20 Mgs to 10 Mgs for 5 days and was then discontinued. The abilify weaned down over 2 weeks. The psychiatrist said possible borderline that same day we decided to wean, which was early May. However, she did say they don't officially diagnosis someone her age.

    They have ruled out bipolar because there is usually a trigger and she has control. So if she's having a meltdown and I call the crisis line, she's able to reel herself in and can talk to the person on the phone.

    I did call the psychiatrist today and she said that some turmoil is expected during her withdrawal. It could take a couple of weeks and that we should keep her safe and go to emerg if necessary.

    I understand that abilify is a mood stabilizer but she was far from stabilized while on it!

    I asked if Wellbutrin might be an option for her if we decide to try another medication. Its one we've never tried and I understand it's in a different "family" from the others we have tried. She said we could consider it.

    Am I missing anything?

    I can't see straight!

    Does this course make sense?

    We have also been "urgently" referred to an in house intensive intervention service and an assessment from the local children's hospital, mental health unit, but "urgent" could mean 8 months.

    Thank you so much for your responses. I'm worried sick and just don't know what to do next.
  5. Highpockets

    Highpockets New Member

    One of my daughters was on Paxil for a long time and when she began weaning off, she was really feeling and behaving erratically. I finally took her to the ER and were able to see a doctor who said some people need to wean off these mess very slowly. It ended up taking about 6 months to do it, but she didn't have those awful withdrawal effects.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how hard it is for both of you.
    It does sound a bit like she was weaned off of Prozac too quickly. Kind of late now.
    What about a quick scrip for clonidine to calm her? It's used off-label to calm kids.
    I wouldn't want her to go that long with-o anything. She sounds miserable.
    Will she eat? Sleep?
  7. jugey

    jugey Active Member

    I should have researched this more....I trusted the doctor....sigh

    I've been giving her melatonin at night and that's working to help her sleep. She's eating next to nothing.

    I'll ask about the clonidine. A calm evening would be be very welcome.

  8. jugey

    jugey Active Member

    My mess just keep on getting messier! The level of hostility coming our way is just not bearable. She is threatening to kill us and kill herself. She is throwing things at me. Telling me to go "f" myself and then 2 minutes later saying she feels bad and can she have a hug.

    I heard from her teacher yesterday and she's not doing well socially or academically at school. Dark, negative and unfocused is how she described her.

    Last night we called the police in an effort to de-escalate things and it did. They didn't come. They said they were having a busy night but would send someone as soon as they could. They said if it gets too late to call back and cancel the call. I waited on the front step for about an hour. In the meantime difficult child went to sleep, so I did call and cancel.

    This morning I have called the psychiatrist, the psychologist and the contact person, for the assessment we are waiting for, from the local children's hospital.

    Haven't had a response from anyone yet.

    This whole thing is about to blow up, big time, unless we get an intervention!
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I blame her doctors for this. I have been on psychiatric medications and just going off cold turkey on one medication made me act absolutely nuts. You can NOT come down THAT FAST off of psychiatric medication and NOT go a bit nuts as your brain chemistry, which has been altered, fights to readjust. The Prozac weaning was way too fast. I had to go off of Imiprimine instantly because it made me have life-threatening toxic symptoms, such as my throat closing up, so I could not wean. I swear, my ex says I was in Crazyland and I was. Until I was put on a replacement for the Imiprimine, which was the plan, I was all over the place and no place at all. I can still feel the horrible whacked out emotions if I think really hard, but I try not to.

    Have you considered switching doctors? This one does not sound very competent. Through my life's walk with mental illness I have had to fire a few very incompetent psychiatrists. Education be damed :), not all psychiatrists are created equal. Some are brighter than others. Some have a magic touch and good instincts about medications and some may as well have not bothered to become psychiatrists because they are not good at it, as with all specialties of doctors.Some are better than others and some are unacceptable.

    Do your own research before either adding or eliminating a medication. Knowledge is power...YOUR power. Your power is your advocacy for your child. If a doctor gets put off by a parent who has a lot of knowledge, he is feeling threatened or has a God complex and has no business being a doctor. Doctors are supposed to be partners with us to help our children and we should feel comfortable, not intimidated, telling them what we heard, read or know and expressing our concerns.

    Crossing my fingers, toes and eyes that things get better for your poor kid. Your family deserves a break for a chance. I"m so sorry about this. Sending gentle hugs.
  10. jugey

    jugey Active Member

    Yes, I agree that her doctor is to blame. I had several email exchanges with her yesterday, asking her for help, but in the end, the receptionist called me and said that they "urged" me to seek help locally. Basically, we were dumped. The Canadian system is tricky! You can't just go and see a psychiatrist. You have to be referred by your family doctor or pediatrician. We are a resident in a city, with a large teaching children's hospital, but for some reason, the 2 times we've obtained a referral to a psychiatric, it was outside our city limits. I wish I knew why.

    I made many many phone calls yesterday and finally, at about 4:30 pm, I connected with a child and youth mental health counsellor, through the local crisis hotline, that I think/hope can help us to get in to a new psychiatric. In the meantime, she recommended we put her back on 2 mgs of abilify, in the evening, to help calm her.

    difficult child has gone to stay with her Aunt for a couple of days. She is a great support to us all. difficult child won't blow up while with her. Her aunt can see and sense her darkness and moodiness, but won't see the level of hostility, that we see at home. Which is really good but does trouble me. difficult child has control! So why doesn't she control herself here at home? I've heard and read that this is fairly common, but it's still very hard for me to accept.

    I'm feeling strange this yesterday didn't happen. I think I am totally overwhelmed by my life circumstance at the moment.

    Thank you to all who posted. I appreciate it!

    On I go......