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In a funk
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 73511" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>FUNK </p><p> </p><p>Definition: </p><p> Depressed or upset.</p><p> </p><p>Example:</p><p> 1) This winter weather really has me in a funk. </p><p>2) Holly is in a funk about her new haircut. She thinks it's much too short. </p><p> </p><p>Etymology: Derived from the Flemish word 'fonck', meaning 'disturbed' or 'agitated'. </p><p>Synonyms: got the blues </p><p></p><p>Cures: I think if you disrobe, walk out to the mail box bare naked and get your mail. Your neighbors will never act the same towards you.</p><p></p><p>Once inside reclothe yourself. Take the ice tray out of the freezer, crack a few ice cubes out and then put the ice cubes down the front and back of your pants (providing you put clothes on after you got the mail) that should keep ya jumpin and take your mind off the foncking mood you're in.</p><p></p><p>(I've tried this) Take scotch tape around 12 inches of it...and place it sticky side up under your nose then tape the ends to the top of your hair pulling slightly to give your nose a raised snooty effect. Take another 2 strips approximately 5" long each and paste above your eyebrows pulling upwards again. Gives that OH who me? look. Then tape the corners of your mouth too for a pouty look, Marilyn Monroe-ish - boop boop a doo - C'mon say it..</p><p>And well come to think of it, you maybe should have used the tape in other places BEFORE you went out to get the mail. (I highly am adverse to the use of Duct tape there because well,</p><p> I can tell ya 'DONT" - unless you're just bent on removing your nipples. </p><p></p><p>After the ice has melted you're refreshed and ready to move on with your new face lift in tact and that OH me...surprise look on your face, grab a letter opener and open the bills, take your camera phone and with each observance of your bill balance take a picture of yourself and send it with the payment of that particular bill. I guarantee a 10% reduction at least on your next bill. </p><p></p><p>And now ASO with the mail collected, the neighbors gasping, refreshed with your bills paid and new face lift you should be able to tackle the kids. I do however recommend you remove all evidence of ever having tried to unfunk yourself before your husband gets home or your next escapade may well be at the State Bed and breakfast. (either way it's 4 hots and a cot with craft class and therapy) - </p><p></p><p>make me something pretty. </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star the unfunkanator</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 73511, member: 4964"] FUNK Definition: Depressed or upset. Example: 1) This winter weather really has me in a funk. 2) Holly is in a funk about her new haircut. She thinks it's much too short. Etymology: Derived from the Flemish word 'fonck', meaning 'disturbed' or 'agitated'. Synonyms: got the blues Cures: I think if you disrobe, walk out to the mail box bare naked and get your mail. Your neighbors will never act the same towards you. Once inside reclothe yourself. Take the ice tray out of the freezer, crack a few ice cubes out and then put the ice cubes down the front and back of your pants (providing you put clothes on after you got the mail) that should keep ya jumpin and take your mind off the foncking mood you're in. (I've tried this) Take scotch tape around 12 inches of it...and place it sticky side up under your nose then tape the ends to the top of your hair pulling slightly to give your nose a raised snooty effect. Take another 2 strips approximately 5" long each and paste above your eyebrows pulling upwards again. Gives that OH who me? look. Then tape the corners of your mouth too for a pouty look, Marilyn Monroe-ish - boop boop a doo - C'mon say it.. And well come to think of it, you maybe should have used the tape in other places BEFORE you went out to get the mail. (I highly am adverse to the use of Duct tape there because well, I can tell ya 'DONT" - unless you're just bent on removing your nipples. After the ice has melted you're refreshed and ready to move on with your new face lift in tact and that OH me...surprise look on your face, grab a letter opener and open the bills, take your camera phone and with each observance of your bill balance take a picture of yourself and send it with the payment of that particular bill. I guarantee a 10% reduction at least on your next bill. And now ASO with the mail collected, the neighbors gasping, refreshed with your bills paid and new face lift you should be able to tackle the kids. I do however recommend you remove all evidence of ever having tried to unfunk yourself before your husband gets home or your next escapade may well be at the State Bed and breakfast. (either way it's 4 hots and a cot with craft class and therapy) - make me something pretty. Hugs & Love Star the unfunkanator [/QUOTE]
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