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In desperate need of advice!
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<blockquote data-quote="BigMamma3" data-source="post: 244464" data-attributes="member: 6663"><p>UPDATE</p><p> </p><p>Here is what I came up with after considering all your advice, discussing with therapist & RT. By the way, therapist and I both feel she "dissassociates" from what she is doing based on the language she uses to explain what happened and in describing her own frame of mind afterwards.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>RT will:</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Have her do some clean up work around class to "work off" the $1 he could not recover. He got the $10 from the kids she gave it.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He also benched her for 3 days both recesses (his choice).</li> </ul><p>I did/will/plan to:</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Spoke to her briefly (and without anger) instructing her she needed to write a letter of apology to both the boy she stole from and the RT. She reportedly did this without much fuss at daycare. I will check letters later tonight.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Have a heart-to-heart talk about what is happening with her & why she gave away the $10 to a boy in her class.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">In the future, after this has blown over, I plan to casually give her an old wallet of mine and start giving her very small amounts of money here and there. I'm going to discuss with her that money is to be kept private and not "flashed" around to her friends and safely stored in her wallet or her safe in her room. For the last year+ she has been forbidden to have money after concerns over her not knowing what its worth and also mysteriously producing cash from unknown sources. I think I need to ease up on this with her, let her have a litte responsibilty with it knowing she will make mistakes.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Next book club go around I will let her order some books, either paying for them myself or having her use her own savings. I've never ordered books before mostly because of money issues, but since things are improving financially, I think I will start letting them order. I think she has resented me and felt deprived around this book order issue.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Eventually the boyfriend and I will agree upon an allowance strategy for all 3 girls.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Not planning to tell boyfriend. Trying to keep school misbehavior dealt with at school. Home misbehavior dealt with at home.</li> </ul><p>I will report back on how it all goes...wish me luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BigMamma3, post: 244464, member: 6663"] UPDATE Here is what I came up with after considering all your advice, discussing with therapist & RT. By the way, therapist and I both feel she "dissassociates" from what she is doing based on the language she uses to explain what happened and in describing her own frame of mind afterwards. RT will: [LIST] [*]Have her do some clean up work around class to "work off" the $1 he could not recover. He got the $10 from the kids she gave it. [*]He also benched her for 3 days both recesses (his choice). [/LIST]I did/will/plan to: [LIST] [*]Spoke to her briefly (and without anger) instructing her she needed to write a letter of apology to both the boy she stole from and the RT. She reportedly did this without much fuss at daycare. I will check letters later tonight. [*]Have a heart-to-heart talk about what is happening with her & why she gave away the $10 to a boy in her class. [*]In the future, after this has blown over, I plan to casually give her an old wallet of mine and start giving her very small amounts of money here and there. I'm going to discuss with her that money is to be kept private and not "flashed" around to her friends and safely stored in her wallet or her safe in her room. For the last year+ she has been forbidden to have money after concerns over her not knowing what its worth and also mysteriously producing cash from unknown sources. I think I need to ease up on this with her, let her have a litte responsibilty with it knowing she will make mistakes. [*]Next book club go around I will let her order some books, either paying for them myself or having her use her own savings. I've never ordered books before mostly because of money issues, but since things are improving financially, I think I will start letting them order. I think she has resented me and felt deprived around this book order issue. [*]Eventually the boyfriend and I will agree upon an allowance strategy for all 3 girls. [*]Not planning to tell boyfriend. Trying to keep school misbehavior dealt with at school. Home misbehavior dealt with at home. [/LIST]I will report back on how it all goes...wish me luck! [/QUOTE]
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