In Need of support

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by M&M, Oct 8, 2010.

  1. M&M

    M&M Guest

    I am a working mother of two little girls, ages 8 and 5. My 5 year old has become very defiant, resistant, and has been having really bad tantrums lately. All of this is going on in the afterschool program. She was displaying this behavior over the summer in camp, but never displayed this in preschool. I had a crying spell last night and had to call out from work today because i am still upset. my baby used to have 30min long tanturms and crying fits when she was 2 and 3. but it has come back. I'm worried because she when they said they would call me, she said dont call my mom because she will be mean to me... then they tell me they are mandated reporters.. god my husband is clueless to what to do and with my mom suffereing with sever mental illness i'm alone and scared for my baby girl.. someone pleas give me some strategies to dealing with my little one, while making sure my oldest doesnt get left out.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Have you ever had her evaluated? Were her early markers on target? What sets her off? Can she transition well? Relate to other kids her age? What sort of mental illness runs in the family?
    by the way, welcome to the board ;)
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Has she ever been evaluated by a psychiatrist, psychologist, pediatrician for this behavior? You might want to start there, soon. My son started acting like that around that age. I had him evaluated and they diagnosis ADHD and ODD. Other things that contribute to his behaviors is change in routine, stress about almost anything, being bullied, etc and not knowing how else to tell me so he acts out. I would try to find out what is going on there that may be stressing her out. If there are mental health issues in the family, an evaluation would be a VERY good idea. Don't worry about the "mandated reporters". They are just doing their job. Someone from CPS may talk to her and to you and your husband about what she might have meant by that statement. My son is 12 now and still tells people I'm "mean" to him (every time he doesn't get his way or is disciplined). My son even told the school once: "Don't tell my mom, she'll hurt me" just to try to get them to not tell me. It didn't work, they told me anyway.
  4. M&M

    M&M Guest

    I am in the process of getting her evaluated, what do you mean by early marks? if you mean her development. yes there were. aggresssion, yelling at her, physical force sets her off, miss understanding her sets her off. she doesn't take well to change, like right now she is in school and after school without naps. its hard for her. my mother is schizoprenic.
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Welcome. You're among friends here.

    I'm interested in hearing the answers to MidwestMom's questions. Also, how is she doing academically in school? Has she adjusted to "big" school? There are a lot of demands placed on 5 year olds nowadays and she just may not be able to hold it together at the after school program. She may need some down time... I'd see if that's possible at the after school program.
  6. M&M

    M&M Guest

    I am calling around to see if i get an evaluation done. I am really worried, confused.. questioning my parenting. I wonder if it has anything to do with her being tired.. restless, becaus after her episode she went to sleep. Sometimes i wonder what i did wrong.. she is good student so far.. she does her work and sometimes need to be redirected because she wants to play.. when she does something wrong. i tell her to go to her room or no cookies.. i rarely spank but i do yell alot.. any suggestions until i can get her to see a doctor?
  7. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Let me ask you this... does she seem like she's "there" when she's tantruming? I mean, is she engaged? Or have a blank stare? Or is just a case of her wearing herself out during her tantrum?

    We now think my little Duckie's behavior was triggered by her allergies/asthma, which caused her to get poor quality sleep and always feel run down. Could your daughter be that overtired or has she been ill recently to fuel this?