Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
In need of support
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 691476" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>SO and I have had a rocky relationship for the past year. He was frustrated by work and was angry and critical at home. Last July, he quit his good paying job. I wasn't happy with his decision, but I attempted to be patient. As time rolled on, I became frustrated because he did not appear to me to be looking for work. When confronted about this, he became angry and defensive.</p><p></p><p>I admit that I do not do anger well. It terrifies me, I panic, and then I become depressed. SO suggested that we go to couples' therapy. It seemed to be helping. He was trying hard to make changes, and so was I.</p><p></p><p>We had a session on Tuesday. We discussed our progress for the first 30 minutes and then SO decides to tell me that he has quit his job which he has held for the last 2 months. We had 15 minutes left in the session. </p><p></p><p>I didn't say much to him Tuesday night other than that I needed time to think. He was angry at me for that. Last night we attempted to talk. It went terribly. I have asked him to leave. </p><p></p><p>I don't understand how a grown man cannot grasp the concept of staying in a job until you find another one. I've had 3 previous husbands and never dealt with this issue. </p><p></p><p>SO is basically a good man. He isn't an alcoholic, an addict, or crazy. I wanted this relationship to work. I wanted him to be there for my children. He does get along with Ferb, but he behaves as though he hates Candy. He says loves her, but the majority of his interactions with her are critical. She does not like being around him. This was a huge area of concern for me as I expected him to be the bigger person and do his part to connect with her. Instead, it is a daily battle.</p><p></p><p>His anger is a huge problem for me, too. He gets angry with me for not responding to texts quickly enough. He gets angry with me for talking to people on the phone. Basically, if he wants my attention, he wants ALL my attention, and he wants it immediately. For the past year, I've felt mostly as if he's another child. All the financial responsibilities are mine. I pay the mortgage, the utilities, the taxes, the groceries. He pays the Netflix bill. I pay for his cigarettes, his beer and his gas. I paid when he was not working and wanted to go to the farm for the week-end by himself. I told him I felt used. </p><p></p><p>I didn't know that his quitting the job he just landed after 9 months of unemployment would be the straw that broke this camel's back, but it was. </p><p></p><p>The problem for me now is that there is no one else. I do not have supportive family members. I do not have a best friend. I also have a huge farm and giant mortgage on it. I have two kids who hate the idea of living in the country. That's where I want to be, but I don't have a support base there. </p><p></p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sad.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sad:" title="sad :sad:" data-shortname=":sad:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 691476, member: 11832"] SO and I have had a rocky relationship for the past year. He was frustrated by work and was angry and critical at home. Last July, he quit his good paying job. I wasn't happy with his decision, but I attempted to be patient. As time rolled on, I became frustrated because he did not appear to me to be looking for work. When confronted about this, he became angry and defensive. I admit that I do not do anger well. It terrifies me, I panic, and then I become depressed. SO suggested that we go to couples' therapy. It seemed to be helping. He was trying hard to make changes, and so was I. We had a session on Tuesday. We discussed our progress for the first 30 minutes and then SO decides to tell me that he has quit his job which he has held for the last 2 months. We had 15 minutes left in the session. I didn't say much to him Tuesday night other than that I needed time to think. He was angry at me for that. Last night we attempted to talk. It went terribly. I have asked him to leave. I don't understand how a grown man cannot grasp the concept of staying in a job until you find another one. I've had 3 previous husbands and never dealt with this issue. SO is basically a good man. He isn't an alcoholic, an addict, or crazy. I wanted this relationship to work. I wanted him to be there for my children. He does get along with Ferb, but he behaves as though he hates Candy. He says loves her, but the majority of his interactions with her are critical. She does not like being around him. This was a huge area of concern for me as I expected him to be the bigger person and do his part to connect with her. Instead, it is a daily battle. His anger is a huge problem for me, too. He gets angry with me for not responding to texts quickly enough. He gets angry with me for talking to people on the phone. Basically, if he wants my attention, he wants ALL my attention, and he wants it immediately. For the past year, I've felt mostly as if he's another child. All the financial responsibilities are mine. I pay the mortgage, the utilities, the taxes, the groceries. He pays the Netflix bill. I pay for his cigarettes, his beer and his gas. I paid when he was not working and wanted to go to the farm for the week-end by himself. I told him I felt used. I didn't know that his quitting the job he just landed after 9 months of unemployment would be the straw that broke this camel's back, but it was. The problem for me now is that there is no one else. I do not have supportive family members. I do not have a best friend. I also have a huge farm and giant mortgage on it. I have two kids who hate the idea of living in the country. That's where I want to be, but I don't have a support base there. :sad: [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
In need of support
Top