In school 32 minutes - school threatened police

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, Feb 27, 2007.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    School started 32 minutes ago and they already called. he is refusing to do work, disrupted class. They sent him to the office, they called me at work. Said he needs to be picked up. I told them there is nobody to pick him up. They said they will put him in ISS but will call the police if he starts yelling in there. No threats, just yelling how he hates school, nothing good about it, doesn't want to be there. he thinks he can just yell these things out whenever, do no work. Refuses to do any work. He told me last week how much he hated school and would do something to get kicked out. Now what? New job, to far away, I cannot leave.
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I don't know what ISS is, but wanted to send you some gentle hugs~

    I'm sorry this is happening.
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Does your difficult child have an IEP? Is there a behavioral intervention plan in place? Is there a crisis team in your community that the school can call?

    Schools should have professionals who know how to deal with this stuff.

    Having said that, if difficult child is being a danger to himself or others, he needs to be transported to the nearest hospital for an evaluation. If school is considering calling the police, have the police transport difficult child to the nearest ER.

    A hard step to take - but many times the start to getting help for your difficult child.

    I'm not above calling 911 when kt or wm are out of control.

    I'm sorry you're having such a rough time of it right now. Keep your chin up - at the very least don't let it drag on the ground. :warrior: :rofl: :warrior:
  4. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    ISS is in school suspension. He is no a danger to anyone. Just a loud disrespectful mouth. Yes he has an IEP, he refuses to participate on what he is to do when he feels upset. He doesn't care. He doesn't care what consequences are. They have called the crisis center for him in the past. Then they (crisis center) will call me and want to meet with me or me and husband. I am losing him and don't know what to do.
  5. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    If an IEP is in place, than the school is obligated, if the police are called, to take him to the nearest hospital. The police should be trained in dealing with this type of thing, and not treat him like a criminal, but rather as someone who needs help and take him straight to the ER. This might be not be as bad as it sounds, because it sends the message that when we behave a certain way, we need and receive help.

    If that route is not necessary I wonder if there is a teacher at the school, or the school counselor, that he already connects with, that can try and reason with him, and try and get him calmed down? I have been where you are, and I feel for you, it is horrible. Hang in there, it will get better-sometimes our kids have to hit rock bottom before things change.
  6. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Second call from school. He gets on the phone and speaks to me so disrespectful. He has had me in tears (At my NEW job, with new people an hour from home). Can I just tell him I quit. I don't care. If he cannot follow directions he is only ruining his life. Can I just quit. Had a third call during this. I instructed them to call the police if that is what they have to do. he refuses to do work and talks. can't do it any longer. I quit.
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What is it the school wants you to do with difficult child? Pick him up - what does that accomplish?

    Ask them what their plan is for your son's education.
  8. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    been there done that, only with my son it was his eye. He poked it out. I got so tired of dealing with it. But, I am mom, I cannot quit. Drives me nuts, for 15 months once a week I had to go out of town and stay at RMH........nevermind I had a scooter and walker to get around and had to walk all over the univ campus for his eye. Nevermind my husband is at home and needs daily care or my difficult child freaks out with seperation anxiety and panic attacks when I am not here, or m,y easy child needs rides to work and home.
    Can't quit, it is part of our job description, Mom.
    Hang in there. Sounds like your son needs some kind of help- maybe his BIP or IEP need to be adjusted. SOmetimes when BIPs are written, people find the interventions they wrote in do not work the way they had hoped. SO they need to reconvene and try something else.
    Maybe something is going on with the medications. Is this new for your son or has it been ongoing?
    Wishing you luck.
  9. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Kjs - I can totally feel your frustration and hopelessness. in my humble opinion, I think you need to request an IEP mtg (certified mail, always) and at that mtg you need to review behavior management plan and IEP. If school is doling out ISS and/or calling you multiple times during the day (with what I'm sure is the intent that you come and pick up difficult child from school), they are failing to provide him with an education. Therefore, either staff needs additional training, additional support, or difficult child needs to be educated in a different placement. *They* need to figure out how to manage his behaviors, or find someone who can. And that someone is *not* you during the school day. The phone calls need to stop - again, they are required to educate difficult child and sending him home because his behaviors are disruptive (not dangerous, just disruptive) is ridiculous and a failure on their part to educate him. With some of our kids, yelling and school go hand in hand. The school staff needs to figure it out.

    Threatening to call the police because a difficult child is being loud or inappropriately verbal is a bluff. What are the police going to do? Arrest him for having a difficult child mouth on him??? Give me a break. Pure bologne.

    I understand completely wanting to quit. You're at a low point right now, run into the ground by the school's unreasonable and ineffective response to difficult child's behaviors. But, you won't quit. You've found us, you're a warrior mom (even if it doesn't feel like it right now). difficult child is only 12, still a baby. He needs consistency and support in the school setting, with staff that can do more than pass the buck to you. Take a deep breath, let the school know that either they educate difficult child (which includes managing his challenging behaviors) or they need to find a better placement. Calling Mom is not an educational option.

    Hang in there.
  10. Loris

    Loris New Member

    You've been given great advice, I feel for you. This is so hard to take, sometimes. I hope it gets better for you.
  11. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Listen to me- This is the schools problem. HE IS NOT IN A CLASS SUITED FOR HIS NEEDS. KIDS IN OUR CLASS DO THIS -we are trained to help them calm down, know how not to esculate the situation.. etc... but also have a place for calming down, while giving him differentiated work. You difficult child may need to go to a different school, one for whatever problems you difficult child has. Even if its just behavior. This school is making it worse. They said they will call the police?!!! They need to make serious changes and you must call the case manager for difficult child, and never stop until those changes are made! Ask about differentiated instruction for when he has a meltdown, ask how they calm him down, MAINLY ASK ABOUT NON-VIOLENT CRISIS INTERVENTION. They should be trained. They have big problems. Stay calm when speaking to them. It will cost them $ to send him somewhere more appropriate. I feel really strongly about schools that just want the child out of there without any consideration for the childs education and well being. They have to find help elsewhere, not you. You must take them to court if they ever demand you pick him up. You never pick him up!!! They have to find a better spot for him. Back home isn't it!!!
  12. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    I am somewhat torn on this issue becuz.....I do not want my child left somewhere where they are treating him/her poorly. I do not want my child to feel abandoned.