Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
In The Past, It was Threats, But Tonight Is the Night..
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 602148" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>I think that you are doing the right thing or this will just continue as long as you let it. Why should he get a job when he has a place to stay, food to eat, and money to get high and drink. Sounds pretty cushy to me.</p><p></p><p>You have rightfully reached the point where you have to say that the only way you will help him financially is if he is in rehab or a sober living facility. At twenty, he can find a job and support himself.</p><p></p><p>Saying that, I know how hard it is for a mom to tell her beloved child that they have to leave and that you won't support them financially anymore. You worry about all of the terrible things that can happen to them. However, letting them live with you and do drugs is hurting them, too, by enabling that self-destructive behavior. I know that you are new so you might not know my story but we let our difficult child move back in with us at 27 with the conditions that she was in therapy and had a job. Even though she followed those conditions, it turned out that she was continuing to drink and use drugs. My husband came home one day to find her overdosed on the couch. He had to do chest compressions until the EMT's got there to save her life. They told him that if he had come in a couple of minutes later she would have died. It turned out to be an overdose of alcohol and heroin.</p><p></p><p>So just letting them live with you will not stop your child from terrible things. We did an intervention and sent her to a very expensive 90-day treatment center and then she went to a sober living facility which she recently left. I don't think that she is sober anymore and husband and I have been seeing a therapist to help us set boundaries. My difficult child keeps telling us that she wants to come "home" but we keep reminding her that living here isn't the solution. We have stopped helping her financially and told her that we will only help when she is in treatment or sober living. Otherwise, she needs to support herself.</p><p></p><p>You will need to stay strong in your decision. In all probability, he will start emotionally blackmailing you saying that he will not be able to make it on his own, will kill himself, will take harder drugs. Anything that will play on your protective mom feelings. However, in our collective board experience, difficult child's are extremely resourceful and land on their feet.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. We are here for support.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 602148, member: 1967"] I think that you are doing the right thing or this will just continue as long as you let it. Why should he get a job when he has a place to stay, food to eat, and money to get high and drink. Sounds pretty cushy to me. You have rightfully reached the point where you have to say that the only way you will help him financially is if he is in rehab or a sober living facility. At twenty, he can find a job and support himself. Saying that, I know how hard it is for a mom to tell her beloved child that they have to leave and that you won't support them financially anymore. You worry about all of the terrible things that can happen to them. However, letting them live with you and do drugs is hurting them, too, by enabling that self-destructive behavior. I know that you are new so you might not know my story but we let our difficult child move back in with us at 27 with the conditions that she was in therapy and had a job. Even though she followed those conditions, it turned out that she was continuing to drink and use drugs. My husband came home one day to find her overdosed on the couch. He had to do chest compressions until the EMT's got there to save her life. They told him that if he had come in a couple of minutes later she would have died. It turned out to be an overdose of alcohol and heroin. So just letting them live with you will not stop your child from terrible things. We did an intervention and sent her to a very expensive 90-day treatment center and then she went to a sober living facility which she recently left. I don't think that she is sober anymore and husband and I have been seeing a therapist to help us set boundaries. My difficult child keeps telling us that she wants to come "home" but we keep reminding her that living here isn't the solution. We have stopped helping her financially and told her that we will only help when she is in treatment or sober living. Otherwise, she needs to support herself. You will need to stay strong in your decision. In all probability, he will start emotionally blackmailing you saying that he will not be able to make it on his own, will kill himself, will take harder drugs. Anything that will play on your protective mom feelings. However, in our collective board experience, difficult child's are extremely resourceful and land on their feet. Keep posting. We are here for support. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
In The Past, It was Threats, But Tonight Is the Night..
Top