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General Parenting
Incentives or Bribery?
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<blockquote data-quote="HopeRemains" data-source="post: 514484" data-attributes="member: 14139"><p>Hi there! I feel as if I am in the same boat. difficult child is constantly hitting/kicking husband and my youngest son, who is 3. Unless he is very out of control, he doesn't do it to me (very often anymore), because I have always been consistant in swift discipline for these actions. Unfortunately, the *swift discipline* turns into rages 90% of the time. That is because I have always used timeouts, which I am currently trying to figure out an alternative for- to no avail. </p><p></p><p>I've tried the rewards charts; he likes them and is excited about them for a week or so, then they lose all credit and the bad behavior begins again. I don't think that money is a good way to get him to behave, as others have pointed out, it replaces one problem with another. However, in general, ALL rewards programs have ended in catastrope for us, and I don't think money is much different than giving a small prize. I've tried giving him the choice of a movie he'd like to watch and a family night as a reward, many, many things. All of them have failed because if he didn't earn it, it caused meltdowns! He is always asking for one more chance... (which I don't give often because I don't want to backpeddle). </p><p></p><p>But if this is the only thing that you think might work, by all means, give it a try! It doesn't mean you will have to keep paying him forever, just getting him into the habit of keeping his hands and feet to himself. Good luck and update on if it's worked out for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HopeRemains, post: 514484, member: 14139"] Hi there! I feel as if I am in the same boat. difficult child is constantly hitting/kicking husband and my youngest son, who is 3. Unless he is very out of control, he doesn't do it to me (very often anymore), because I have always been consistant in swift discipline for these actions. Unfortunately, the *swift discipline* turns into rages 90% of the time. That is because I have always used timeouts, which I am currently trying to figure out an alternative for- to no avail. I've tried the rewards charts; he likes them and is excited about them for a week or so, then they lose all credit and the bad behavior begins again. I don't think that money is a good way to get him to behave, as others have pointed out, it replaces one problem with another. However, in general, ALL rewards programs have ended in catastrope for us, and I don't think money is much different than giving a small prize. I've tried giving him the choice of a movie he'd like to watch and a family night as a reward, many, many things. All of them have failed because if he didn't earn it, it caused meltdowns! He is always asking for one more chance... (which I don't give often because I don't want to backpeddle). But if this is the only thing that you think might work, by all means, give it a try! It doesn't mean you will have to keep paying him forever, just getting him into the habit of keeping his hands and feet to himself. Good luck and update on if it's worked out for you. [/QUOTE]
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