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Ineffective Mother
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 327530" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Hi and welcome overwhelmed,</p><p> </p><p>The frist thing I would say to you is run, don't walk, to the nearest book store or library and pick up a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It's our "board bible". It really gives you a new perspective into what is going in insdie these challenging kids of ours.</p><p> </p><p>I think, just based on what you have said about the recent incident and what you have tried in the past, you have learned that traditional methods of discipline, i.e.spanking, don't work with our kids. It's useless and counterproductive - I would stop now.</p><p> </p><p>Do we loose it? Certainly!</p><p> </p><p>Here's a couple things, it's hard, based on your first post and just one example, to know what is going on with your son. It would be helpful if you did a profile signature like you see at the bottom of our posts. Just click User CP on the upper left side of the page and go from there! It would be helpful to know what professionals have seen your son, the home dynamics (age of sibs, live with dad, etc.), history of mental or emotional issues in the family, stuff like that. </p><p> </p><p>I can say that keeping a 10 year old boy up until midnight to complete his homework is too much. Either he pay the consequences by getting a bad grade, or he takes a late grade and works on it over the weekend before he gets his play privilages.</p><p> </p><p>How does your son do socially at school? Any behavior issues at school? Does he have friends? Does he get along with his sibs? Is he respectful to adults?</p><p> </p><p>Addressing the issue of enviornment - certainly intellectually we understand that any disorders our children may have, they were born with (or are a result of early trauma in the case of things like Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or PTSD). But I do feel that the way we parent can have an effect on them. We certainly are not going to do everything right, but have a better understanding about what our kids are going through is one of the goals of this site.</p><p> </p><p>I welcome you here. I think there are going to be a lot of questions coming your way regarding what medical attention has been happening with your son. What kind of docs he has seen, what testing has been done, etc. Glad you have found your way here.</p><p> </p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 327530, member: 805"] Hi and welcome overwhelmed, The frist thing I would say to you is run, don't walk, to the nearest book store or library and pick up a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It's our "board bible". It really gives you a new perspective into what is going in insdie these challenging kids of ours. I think, just based on what you have said about the recent incident and what you have tried in the past, you have learned that traditional methods of discipline, i.e.spanking, don't work with our kids. It's useless and counterproductive - I would stop now. Do we loose it? Certainly! Here's a couple things, it's hard, based on your first post and just one example, to know what is going on with your son. It would be helpful if you did a profile signature like you see at the bottom of our posts. Just click User CP on the upper left side of the page and go from there! It would be helpful to know what professionals have seen your son, the home dynamics (age of sibs, live with dad, etc.), history of mental or emotional issues in the family, stuff like that. I can say that keeping a 10 year old boy up until midnight to complete his homework is too much. Either he pay the consequences by getting a bad grade, or he takes a late grade and works on it over the weekend before he gets his play privilages. How does your son do socially at school? Any behavior issues at school? Does he have friends? Does he get along with his sibs? Is he respectful to adults? Addressing the issue of enviornment - certainly intellectually we understand that any disorders our children may have, they were born with (or are a result of early trauma in the case of things like Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or PTSD). But I do feel that the way we parent can have an effect on them. We certainly are not going to do everything right, but have a better understanding about what our kids are going through is one of the goals of this site. I welcome you here. I think there are going to be a lot of questions coming your way regarding what medical attention has been happening with your son. What kind of docs he has seen, what testing has been done, etc. Glad you have found your way here. Sharon [/QUOTE]
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