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Ineffective Mother
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 327544" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there and welcome, but sorry you have to be here. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p><p></p><p>Now for my comment, and you asked for honest feedback. Hon, get help for yourself. in my opinion a book is not enough...you need professional help. Hitting your kid (sounds like the spanking got out of hand) is not going to help him or change him and it will keep on making you feel like ****. in my opinion hitting him just makes it worse and when you act just like him you are not setting a good example. Calm works much better with these kids, and perhaps therapy will help with that. You should not think of this as "he wins if I don't win." He has obvious problems (in my opinion more than ODD) and you, being the adult, need to diagnose him (see a neuropsychologist for him) and advocate for his help. You also will get better feedback from us if you answer a few questions.</p><p></p><p>1/Are there are psychiatric problems (diagnosed or undiagnosed) on either side of his biological family tree? You didn't mention a father, but even if his dad hasn't seen him since his conception, he has inherited half of his genes so his father's disorders could still be passed along. Was his father a substance abuser, which can be a red flag for mood disorders that he is trying to self-medicate? </p><p></p><p>2/How was your son's early development? Did he talk on time, make strong eye contact with strangers, can he socialize appropriately with his same age peers? How is he in school? Does he have an IEP? Some kids can't handle homework and have a modified homework schedule (mine did). Also, now my son gets his homework done in school in a special study hall. This really worked well.</p><p></p><p>Others will come along. You are not a bad parent. You just need help regarding how to handle your differently-wired son. Plus you need to get his diagnosed correctly so you know how to parent him. (((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 327544, member: 1550"] Hi there and welcome, but sorry you have to be here. :raspberry-tounge: Now for my comment, and you asked for honest feedback. Hon, get help for yourself. in my opinion a book is not enough...you need professional help. Hitting your kid (sounds like the spanking got out of hand) is not going to help him or change him and it will keep on making you feel like ****. in my opinion hitting him just makes it worse and when you act just like him you are not setting a good example. Calm works much better with these kids, and perhaps therapy will help with that. You should not think of this as "he wins if I don't win." He has obvious problems (in my opinion more than ODD) and you, being the adult, need to diagnose him (see a neuropsychologist for him) and advocate for his help. You also will get better feedback from us if you answer a few questions. 1/Are there are psychiatric problems (diagnosed or undiagnosed) on either side of his biological family tree? You didn't mention a father, but even if his dad hasn't seen him since his conception, he has inherited half of his genes so his father's disorders could still be passed along. Was his father a substance abuser, which can be a red flag for mood disorders that he is trying to self-medicate? 2/How was your son's early development? Did he talk on time, make strong eye contact with strangers, can he socialize appropriately with his same age peers? How is he in school? Does he have an IEP? Some kids can't handle homework and have a modified homework schedule (mine did). Also, now my son gets his homework done in school in a special study hall. This really worked well. Others will come along. You are not a bad parent. You just need help regarding how to handle your differently-wired son. Plus you need to get his diagnosed correctly so you know how to parent him. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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