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Ineffective Mother
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 327804" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sweetie, you are not a bad mom. You are an overwhelmed one. There really IS a difference. So first off I am sending you some hugs.</p><p></p><p>Lots of us spanked at one point or another. We all have learned that all it really accomplished was a child who thought that if you were bigger you could hit someone who didn't do what you wanted. Not terribly productive, is that?</p><p></p><p>You have gotten good advice. I want to add a couple of books. This first one has a Christian bent, and I don't know your religion. It is not mentioned to change or address your religion. I have had many friends of other religions who found it helpful. </p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shes-Gonna-Blow-Dealing-Anger/dp/0736915524/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261206703&sr=8-1" target="_blank">She's Gonna Blow!: Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger</a> by <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Julie-Ann-Barnhill/e/B001ILHKDA/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1261206703&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Julie Ann Barnhill</a></p><p></p><p>While not terribly religious, I found this gave me concrete signals to watch in my behavior to see when my anger started, so that I could then defuse it before I exploded.</p><p></p><p>I also strongly recommend the Love and Logic parenting books. You can look at them on their website (<a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">www.loveandlogic.com</a>), read and even listen to audio things. Take a look at the stuff aimed for teachers, it has good tips there also. They have a number of books. In your situation I recommend the basic Love and Logic Parenting book and the one aimed at parents of children five and under. I am not saying your little ones are out of control, just that this is very effective with many kids and it is easier to put changes into place if you do it with all the kids at once.</p><p></p><p>If you want to get the books from amazon.com you can click on the link on the right side of this page. It does help support this site. If you would prefer to buy used, you can find the books at <a href="http://www.abebooks.com" target="_blank">www.abebooks.com</a>, <a href="http://www.alibris.com" target="_blank">www.alibris.com</a>, or <a href="http://www.half.com" target="_blank">www.half.com</a>. </p><p></p><p>Sending some more hugs. Things can get better. We have all had to learn different ways to parent our kids, because the old fashioned parenting just doesn't work with our kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 327804, member: 1233"] Sweetie, you are not a bad mom. You are an overwhelmed one. There really IS a difference. So first off I am sending you some hugs. Lots of us spanked at one point or another. We all have learned that all it really accomplished was a child who thought that if you were bigger you could hit someone who didn't do what you wanted. Not terribly productive, is that? You have gotten good advice. I want to add a couple of books. This first one has a Christian bent, and I don't know your religion. It is not mentioned to change or address your religion. I have had many friends of other religions who found it helpful. [URL="http://www.amazon.com/Shes-Gonna-Blow-Dealing-Anger/dp/0736915524/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261206703&sr=8-1"]She's Gonna Blow!: Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger[/URL] by [URL="http://www.amazon.com/Julie-Ann-Barnhill/e/B001ILHKDA/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1261206703&sr=8-1"]Julie Ann Barnhill[/URL] While not terribly religious, I found this gave me concrete signals to watch in my behavior to see when my anger started, so that I could then defuse it before I exploded. I also strongly recommend the Love and Logic parenting books. You can look at them on their website ([url]www.loveandlogic.com[/url]), read and even listen to audio things. Take a look at the stuff aimed for teachers, it has good tips there also. They have a number of books. In your situation I recommend the basic Love and Logic Parenting book and the one aimed at parents of children five and under. I am not saying your little ones are out of control, just that this is very effective with many kids and it is easier to put changes into place if you do it with all the kids at once. If you want to get the books from amazon.com you can click on the link on the right side of this page. It does help support this site. If you would prefer to buy used, you can find the books at [url]www.abebooks.com[/url], [url]www.alibris.com[/url], or [url]www.half.com[/url]. Sending some more hugs. Things can get better. We have all had to learn different ways to parent our kids, because the old fashioned parenting just doesn't work with our kids. [/QUOTE]
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