Installing a husband

Steely

Active Member
This is actually pretty funny. Hope it makes you laugh today.:D

NSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as
NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download
Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that
application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically
run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6...1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download
the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
control of all your system resources..)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0
program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband
1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
recommend:
Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck !

Tech Support
 
B

bran155

Guest
That is great!!! LOL

Thanks for the laugh. I so needed it. I am having a sad day today.
 

slsh

member since 1999
:rofl: husband just came back here to make sure I was okay - I was laughing so loud!!! :rofl:

I let him read it and he completely misread the last line as:

Cooking 3.0 and Hot Linguini 7.7. :spaghetti:

He really wasn't understanding why I thought it was so funny.... that's my guy - the way to his heart is definitely thru his stomach.
 

cadydid

New Member
OH MY!! You should have put a disclaimer with that one LOL. Please excuse me while I go get something to clean my monitor off. It's suddenly become covered in dt coke lol
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Oddly enough it mentioned NOTHING about ram. (now before I get sent to the corner) RAM is......Random Access Memory. With most men isnt it RIM? Random Inaccessible Memory -

SHAME SHAME.........SHAME SHAME........some of you act like yer single!
 

Marguerite

Active Member
OK, bragging here. I happen to have my own exclusive, advance-release (beta version) of Husband 10.0. Maybe because it's Mac, but it has had a lot of the extra features as standard, which are still in development stages in the easy child versions.

As the Apple ads say - it just works!

Seriously though - my Husband 10.0 (aka "Marg's Man") sent this home in 2003. Then, two years ago, he sent home the following:

Date: Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:24:26 +1000
To: Recipient List Suppressed:;
From: *********
Subject: A Couple of problems for Technical Support

Dear Technical Support

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble.
However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware program, Party Girl 2.1, which I tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other, they caused severe damage to my hardware.
I then upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2002.
Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.
Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources. These conflict with some of the new games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi typical teen hard drive, it often crashes.
Wife 1.0 also comes with a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-In-Law, which can't be turned off. (I have discovered that this is a trojan that runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all system resources.)
Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2007, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2007, it tends to delete all of your Money files before uninstalling itself.
Any ideas?
____________________________________________________________________________________


Subject: Fw: INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the applications Flowers 2.5 and Jewellery 1.7, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Go to this website http://www.I_Thought_You_Loved_Me.htm and try to download Tears 6.2. This works better if you also install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the upgrade applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will usually download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (this runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Another program that is often suggested is Recriminations 3.5.1. This should be avoided because it can also run a virus in the background.

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are no longer supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider obtaining additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. Another possibility, still in beta test, is Viagra 0.65. Try this as well.

Good Luck,

Tech Support
 

totoro

Mom? What's a difficult child?
Tee-Hee
I thought RIM had something to do with the Toilet...But I guess Random Inaccessible Mammory could be used for a lot of things!
 
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