back ground...months ago my son took to having large mixed groups over and attempting to have co-ed sleep overs... and also not coming home, not calliing, and two occations swearing at me in the worst way and pushing me (he was not sleeping enough and VERY HOSTILE) I called the police, who put him on notice.. and then took other measures to contact parents of the other teens... I have taken a stand against a family who does not follow social norms (answer phones, stay sober, prioritize the welfare of the teens over fun things for the adults and lacks respect for the values of others)... And in these sessions I have felt frustrated by the short and shallow interest that generalizes and minimizes and with extremely slow motion toward the foundation activities that were part of life and now are reintroduced. Starting with a "contract" between me and my son where he agrees to inform where he is with him and his plans befor going, and that he will come home when those are not agreeable, and that he does know if he does not come in for curfew he will deal with police. Initally he said he did not want to sign something that stated I would call the police. So we talked about that. It doesn't matter if he wants the police to be called if he fails to follow the sencible rules or not. I will call police if he is hurting me in any way, and I will not tolerate lack of respect for the curfew. Curfew is the law here, so if you do not have the measure for your children where you now live you might think of changing that where you are living. ANd then she says "all my clients that are teens are going through the same thing"...makes me wonder how quick she is to find a solution to a pervasive problem. Yes, teens will be teens, and in fact, these are LEARNED BEHAVORS. They are learning to behave this way from the school culture that uses foul words to depect people. ANd here the girls are leading the trend. of examples: little who**, and *itch as monikers. The effort has reoriented him toward the home at night rule, calling, and otherwise he is negative and isolating and the only time he will talk to me is to recieve something. The intensive therapy sessions are offering zero toward the relationship issues of daily behavor in the home. What I am hearing is that rude and indifferance and messy slovenly housekeeping is "normal". I think that is rediculas. Adults have the ability to pressure their sons and daughters to behave at home. It is pure nonscence to say that this age group is not participating. Who does that help? Not the teen who learns to do nothing whatever during the long dull boring last months befor adulthood. She is a nice smiling person and I am hoping that as time passes that getting adults into homes where these needs require interventions will eventually result in the role being created. On these posts I am hearing all the time about home ruteenes that are not working and if the current services for home behavor help are indifferant than that explains alot...if they can be had. OR if a family is even willing to try to bring in help for a child or teen. I think often the fact remains adults are feeling so vunerable that having anyone in the home to offer another veiw point feels invalidating. It is , actually, but at the same time I will only have these problems for a relatively short time. If I prevail our lifes are impacted forever, and if I fail we are still futher along a possitive change to the swearing and pushing episodes.