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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 378876" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>OK, what is wrong with this picture? husband set an impossible goal, you new it was impossible, but you allowed it to stand? First, you and husband were not on the same page. If HD refuses to be on the same page, and you feel husband is being unreasonable, tat give you the right to so what YOU feel is right, and once difficult child had saved up enough to cover the cost of the piercing, you should have let him have it don.</p><p></p><p>Next - a decision once made, CAN be changed. It is a mark of strength, not weakness, to admit that a decision was flawed and to change it, especially after reasonable discussion. </p><p></p><p>It is total weakness and frailty, to refuse to accept that a decision may not have been the best. To insist on sticking to something increasingly obvious as unreasonable, has a name - chauvinism. I don't mean sexism, but the original meaning of the word - of blind adherence to increasingly obvious flawed choices. From Nicolas Chauvin, a supporter of Napoleon long after he had been exiled to Elba.</p><p>ttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicolas_Chauvin</p><p></p><p>The things within our parental control that cause most problems with difficult children - inconsistency. Unreasonableness. Decisions made in anger rather than careful consideration. Impulsivity. Parents/disciplinarians not being on the same page. And in this, you seem to have hit the jackpot.</p><p></p><p>I think you need to sit down and lay it on the line for husband. Don</p><p>t ask, tell him. If he will continue to make such decisions without making sure you are both on the same page, then you are likely to amend the ruling in favour of something more achievable, practical and feasible. If he doesn't like this, then he must learn to collaborate and consult. With a therapist overseeing, if necessary. Because this result alone should tell him that in this case, it was a BAD idea!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 378876, member: 1991"] OK, what is wrong with this picture? husband set an impossible goal, you new it was impossible, but you allowed it to stand? First, you and husband were not on the same page. If HD refuses to be on the same page, and you feel husband is being unreasonable, tat give you the right to so what YOU feel is right, and once difficult child had saved up enough to cover the cost of the piercing, you should have let him have it don. Next - a decision once made, CAN be changed. It is a mark of strength, not weakness, to admit that a decision was flawed and to change it, especially after reasonable discussion. It is total weakness and frailty, to refuse to accept that a decision may not have been the best. To insist on sticking to something increasingly obvious as unreasonable, has a name - chauvinism. I don't mean sexism, but the original meaning of the word - of blind adherence to increasingly obvious flawed choices. From Nicolas Chauvin, a supporter of Napoleon long after he had been exiled to Elba. ttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicolas_Chauvin The things within our parental control that cause most problems with difficult children - inconsistency. Unreasonableness. Decisions made in anger rather than careful consideration. Impulsivity. Parents/disciplinarians not being on the same page. And in this, you seem to have hit the jackpot. I think you need to sit down and lay it on the line for husband. Don t ask, tell him. If he will continue to make such decisions without making sure you are both on the same page, then you are likely to amend the ruling in favour of something more achievable, practical and feasible. If he doesn't like this, then he must learn to collaborate and consult. With a therapist overseeing, if necessary. Because this result alone should tell him that in this case, it was a BAD idea! Marg [/QUOTE]
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